Alstry tell me if this sounds right?
As an FBI insider I have acess to the following information that I thought I would share with everyone here. I believe it is important that we all hear this and PREPARE!!!!!
Here is what you can expect on that day:
1) President Obama will be abducted by aliens and forced to listen to Rush Limbaugh until he cracks under the strain and surrenders earth to them.
2) A surprise unemployment report will be issued that reveals that for some time now unemployment has actually been fluctuating between 110% and 120%
3) The US Government will default on its debt
4) In a Super Bowl played way too late in the year the Bucaneers will knock off the Titans on a last second touchdown.
5) Goldman Sachs will repent of their evil ways, cease high frequency trading
6) Ken Lewis will suddenly become intelligent and stop driving BAC into the ground
7) Jim Cramer will get banned from TV through an executive order (signed just minutes before the aliens come)
8) As a favor to earth the aliens blow out the CNBC TV antenna
9) TMF posting features will start working properly for no aparant reason (god this bugs me)
So what should be in your survival kit? Just the essentials.
a trusty .38 and shells
nail polish (for women)
a collapsable TV to watch the draft and NBA on
some seeds so you can start your own farm
a trowel (for the farm)
an emergency radio
an extra stash of potato chips, some twinkies and a couple buds
throw in some gold coins and alien stopping ray guns and you ought to be good to go