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SockMarket (39.65)

04-1-2010

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November 03, 2009 – Comments (24) | RELATED TICKERS: S , TRY

Alstry tell me if this sounds right?

As an FBI insider I have acess to the following information that I thought I would share with everyone here. I believe it is important that we all hear this and PREPARE!!!!!

Here is what you can expect on that day:

1) President Obama will be abducted by aliens and forced to listen to Rush Limbaugh until he cracks under the strain and surrenders earth to them. 

2) A surprise unemployment report will be issued that reveals that for some time now unemployment has actually been fluctuating between 110% and 120%

3) The US Government will default on its debt 

4) In a Super Bowl played way too late in the year the Bucaneers will knock off the Titans on a last second touchdown.

5) Goldman Sachs will repent of their evil ways, cease high frequency trading 

6) Ken Lewis will suddenly become intelligent and stop driving BAC into the ground

7) Jim Cramer will get banned from TV through an executive order (signed just minutes before the aliens come)

8) As a favor to earth the aliens blow out the CNBC TV antenna 

9) TMF posting features will start working properly for no aparant reason (god this bugs me) 

 

So what should be in your survival kit? Just the essentials.

This includes:
food
water
clothing
a trusty .38 and shells
nail polish (for women)
a collapsable TV to watch the draft and NBA on
some seeds so you can start your own farm
a trowel (for the farm)
an emergency radio
an extra stash of potato chips, some twinkies and a couple buds
throw in some gold coins and alien stopping ray guns and you ought to be good to go

24 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On November 03, 2009 at 10:10 PM, Starfirenv (< 20) wrote:

Sure sounds right to me. You've certainly thought this through.
I would add to the Survival List the following-
1. Hot Cheetos and Nacho dip- for the aliens
2. A silver cross to keep the ZOMBIES at bay
3. Paper towels for all the blood in the street ("Marshall" law)
4. Canned prunes for extreme Concentric Contraction.
5. Dirt for the farm.
+1 rec

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#2) On November 03, 2009 at 10:30 PM, Mary953 (77.11) wrote:

Plus the necessary construction equipment to tunnel into your nearest Walmart from below (include molecular disrupter for concrete flooring)  It renders all sorts of other emergency supplies unnecessary.  +1

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#3) On November 03, 2009 at 10:34 PM, fmahnke (88.46) wrote:

If we could get rid of Cramer earlier and take out MSNBC while they are at it. I'll start saving my seeds right away +1 rec

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#4) On November 03, 2009 at 11:08 PM, portefeuille (99.66) wrote:

a trowel

What you really need is a towel, not a trowel. Have you never listened to, read or watched "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"?

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#5) On November 03, 2009 at 11:12 PM, Rasbold (90.31) wrote:

Well, more than just a couple of buds!

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#6) On November 03, 2009 at 11:32 PM, rd80 (98.04) wrote:

Outstanding post.

I'd add a bottle of Maker's Mark to the essentials list.  Maybe a case if it'll take longer than a day or two to restore civilization.

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#7) On November 03, 2009 at 11:56 PM, SockMarket (39.65) wrote:

lol at the posts guys. keep em coming!

 

port, I saw the movie but don't remember it well. I would like to follow their suggestion, as they are the experts in this area. what do they suggest?

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#8) On November 04, 2009 at 12:25 AM, portefeuille (99.66) wrote:

The original quote that referenced the greatness of towels is found in Chapter 3 of Adams' work The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
“ A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-boggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough. ”   — Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

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#9) On November 04, 2009 at 12:29 AM, ReadEmAnWeep (41.17) wrote:

Isn't a cross for vampires and silver for werewolves? I think we are screwed about the zombies. Wait the "trusty .38 and shells" will probably work.

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#10) On November 04, 2009 at 12:30 AM, ReadEmAnWeep (41.17) wrote:

Sorry, response to comment 1

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#11) On November 04, 2009 at 1:54 AM, benfranc (< 20) wrote:

thats some funny shit

http://www.reverbnation.com/benfranc 

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#12) On November 04, 2009 at 11:18 AM, chk999 (99.97) wrote:

Add tinfoil, to wrap your head in to keep the Alien orbital mind-control lasers from telling you what to do.

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#13) On November 04, 2009 at 12:14 PM, vriguy (79.26) wrote:

You forgot to add a sense of humor to the list.

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#14) On November 04, 2009 at 1:18 PM, ocsurf (< 20) wrote:

I'm ready!

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#15) On November 04, 2009 at 1:47 PM, bullnada (< 20) wrote:

It is sad that you guys dont understand. we are in serious trouble and you guys think it is funny. Karma sucks. Just remember when you buy the trailer next to me cause you lost your job.

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#16) On November 04, 2009 at 1:54 PM, bullnada (< 20) wrote:

Your survival tools

 

Bible

(shovel )for sticking your head in the sand

(bank card) for pretending you can just go buy anything you need. Who needs supplies when you have plastic.

(Tab soda) So you dont look fat while you beg.

 

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#17) On November 04, 2009 at 2:09 PM, bullnada (< 20) wrote:

 When you pay your tax bill that keeps going up are you laughing? The to big to fails get billions then claim B.K and your money just vanishes. Keep laughing > One more survival tool you will need is clippers. You dont want the wool to get in your eyes

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#18) On November 04, 2009 at 2:36 PM, rofgile (99.42) wrote:

Hey, don't second guess Alstry too early.  Perhaps in 5 days the stock market will crash, or the end of the economy will occur.  You never know, right.  

Just look at how spot on he was with 9.09 MOAP.  That sure was an awful experience, seeing the economy not crash, no major news occur, and the market climb to 10,000 (at least it would be a terrible experience if you are short selling...)

Note - I'm not selling this market short now, or anytime soon. 

 -Rof 

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#19) On November 04, 2009 at 4:36 PM, jddubya (< 20) wrote:

#15 "It is sad that you guys dont understand. we are in serious trouble and you guys think it is funny."

No, we (meaning me, I don't speak for the others) DO understand.  We are in trouble (how serious is a very subjective subject).  And we (meaning "I") think Alstry is a sad but funny reflection of a minority that exists in this world whose only goal is to make others feel depressed.

#16 - you must be pretty upset to tell "us" why we need the survival tools you specify

#17 - Exactly what did you do in March in April?  Did you take action on Alstry's top call at 8300?  Did you?  You must've.  You're commenting like you've been offended. 

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#20) On November 04, 2009 at 5:06 PM, rosemanjhk (48.44) wrote:

I will not believe it is the end until the Lions win the superbowl.....

 

 

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#21) On November 04, 2009 at 7:11 PM, SockMarket (39.65) wrote:

thanks for the passage port. its nice to know someone can quote the experts on this stuff :).

rof id be interested to hear your bull argument. Im slightly bearish at the moment (I think too much growth is priced in) but would be curious to hear your thoughts.

osc, I think I know where that pic was taken (sad I know)

and

roseman, I don't think the end is near (according to your definition). their name is perfect. they are the Li[e]-on-s. 

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#22) On November 07, 2009 at 6:49 PM, HarryCaraysGhost (99.67) wrote:

#20) On November 04, 2009 at 5:06 PM, rosemanjhk (93.89) wrote:

I will not believe it is the end until the Lions win the superbowl.....

So what do you figure we've got another 1000 yrs or so left.

My sign of the apocalypse is when the Cubs win the World series. As a cubs fan I shall be deeply conflicted, Overjoyed that they won in my lifetime. Yet sad that surely the universe must implode upon itself.

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#23) On November 10, 2009 at 4:24 PM, leo744 (< 20) wrote:

JD,

Your so arrogant to blast others........your day will come and I doubt you'll have the guts to admitt when you were wrong.

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#24) On November 10, 2009 at 4:39 PM, jddubya (< 20) wrote:

#23

Arrogant?!?!?!  I respond to the bullnada taunts and you call it blasting others?!?!? You're whack. 

Read one of Alstry's blogs to get an idea of what arrogant is.

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