Fake News: Apple Initiates Dividend
Welcome back to your favorite news station, WXYB and an S!
This week: Apple just announced that they are going to start paying a quarterly dividend. Starting in June, investors as of 15 May will be paid $8,024.04 a share.
Mark Zuckerburg recently announced interest in Facebook Acquiring Scrabble with Friends. All talks were quickly discontinued when Zynga explained, "That's a Video Game...you can't acquire a video game."
Mark's last words to Zynga were..."Oh!...."
In other news, Gamestop has recently decided to cancel their share buyback program in favor of a share shorting program. The CEO explained, "Well everyone else is shorting the stock, may as well join in."
Research in Motion has recently been trading at a PE of 3.17.....Which also happens to be the number of smart phones they sold all last year thanks to the popularity of the iPhone.
And now our story of the day. President Obama has just announced passing an executive order declaring himself the winner of the 2012 Presidential Elections. Nevertheless, Newt Gingrinch still wants to go to Tampa.
And that's our Fake News! Thanks for tuning into WXYB and an S!
And remember....Your Stock Portfolios are only as good as your NCAA Brackets. [more]
"Q. What is reformulated gas?
A. It is blended to burn cleaner by reducing smog-forming and toxic pollutants... [more]
1. "Son, oil isn't gasoline."
And birds have wings. Tell me something I don't know. [more]
So just to summarize....
Just because a Barrel of Oil is 42 gallons and costs $105 does not mean you can expect to pay $2.50 when you fill up your gas tank. [more]
How you say?
Foxnews "The Five" mentioned this simple solution quite sometime ago.
There are several mixtures of fuel that our Oil/Nat Gas companies have to mix up on their own expense before they can sell it to gas stations in various parts of the United States. Which means the fuel mixture you get in California isn't the same as Mississippi or Michigan or etc... Then of course there are the seasonal mixtures throughout the year that add to that.
Why on EARTH would an Oil/Nat Gas company spend GOBS of $$$ creating 36 mixtures of fuel before they can then be allowed to sell it, when they could just ship and sell it over seas to China?
So the soluton is sto standardize all of these mixtures to a single mixture that only changes seasonally. [more]
Yes folks!! I am going to get in trouble here for exposing to the world the secret Motley Fool Formula to determine what stocks deserve only 2 CAPS Stars or less.
The following must be the case:
A) The Company must buy back all of their debt so that they are debt free.
B) The Company must buy back millions of their outstanding shares.
C) The Company must hand investors at least 15 cents a share in dividend payments.
D) The Company must start up at least one new line of business and show clear evidence of its growth potential.
E) Finally, the Company must acquire at least 3 different companies.
Yes!! folks... If you can say YES!!!! to all 5 items above then your stock is worth a pathetic, paltry, 2 CAPS STARS or 1 CAPS STAR.
So sayeth the secret Motley Fool Formula. [more]
What? You logged into ORIGIN or STEAM or Direct2dnload and were disappointed to realize you can not purcahse an iPHONE, iPAD, iPOD, over there as a digital dnload?
Aww gee....I feel your pain...
Maybe this will cheer you up!
DISCLOSURE: Varchild owns 1180 total shares of Gamestop and plans to use his dividend payments to reinvest in Gamestop March 12th. [more]