June 2010
June 30, 2010 –
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RELATED TICKERS: ISLE
, F
, MCO
The market was flattish for most of the day until the last hour as some of the fears about Europe abated in the morning thanks to their banking system remaining open for at least another three months (so long enough for depositors to carve out space in their mattresses and pull their funds before the next bank run). The big news is that european banks didn't seek as much capital from the ECB as people feared they would with the ECB's 442B Euro line about to expire like the late great Diaperman. Banks only needed an additional 131B Euro 3 month loan which was below the 210B Euro estimate and only 131B Euro above being healthy. In other international news, German unemployment was down for the 12th straight month as German workers have to put in overtime to make sure their Spanish counterparts can take their proper siestas. Ahhh, to be young and in the Euro. [more]
June 29, 2010 –
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RELATED TICKERS: VZ
, TSLA
, C
It was ugly out there today, real ugly, like a Lady Gaga- Alan Greenspan love child with a bad case of facial neurofibromatosis. Investors are worried that China is slowing down (they are), that Europe won't be able to roll their debt (eventually they won't), and that US consumer spend will shrivel up like Khagendra Thapa Magar's muchkin in a cold shower (it will). Leading the the market down was a sell off in China after the dynamically named research group The Conference Board (which apparently researches everything but how to market a business) said they had recalculated the leading economic index for China to show a 0.3% gain in April which is much lower than the 1.7% gain they reported two weeks ago and they blamed it on a calculation error (no really they did, but Money McBags doesn't believe that for a second because aren't asians supposed to be the good ones at math? Oh right, The Conference Board isn't asian). Anyway, with the people calculating the economic data unable to actually calculate it properly, we are once again left guessing at what is really going on and all we have to go by is what we see and that is a lot of closed retail stores, packed job fairs, and blurry objects as our health care ran out and we can't afford new glasses. As China is the engine that is fueling the global recovery (the lobster in the bisque, the plutonium in the flux capacitor, or the extra F in the MFF, if you will) any slow down in their economy will certainly put a damper on economic growth and thus reduce all of us to subsisting off of Ramen Noodles and our tears of despair. Also, with Spain having to roll over debt on Thursday, the same day the whole European banking sector will have their one year 442B Euro line of credit from the ECB expire, Europe is jitterier than Michael J. Fox going through the DTs. Thursday could be a momentous day in the market as Spanish banks are hinting that the ECB's line of credit is crucial to their viability so we may see a financial crash so bad one would think Ted Kennedy were driving it over a bridge. [more]
June 29, 2010 –
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RELATED TICKERS: ZAGG
Money McBags will get his daily market update out later today, but he got a bit verbose with a small cap name this morning so will pump that out here in a separate post. The company he is talking about is ZAGG and it has caught Money McBags' attention again as it has been moving up over the last few days despite a market more pissawful than a halitosis sufferer's breath after a "shower" with R. Kelly. Money McBags told you ZAGG was a short way back in January and it has done nothing but fall until recently. The company was up 10% yesterday on news that their new Zagg InvisibleShield Dry will be available at all AT&T stores for customers to walk past and not buy. Here's the deal, this company sells an overpriced commodity product that takes way too f*cking long to apply and they don't even own the patent on the materials that go in to it. What they sell is a plastic wrap that goes over your iPhone, blackberry, Xbox, nut-sack, to keep it from getting scratched or damaged. It's a nice product to have but it takes a day to fully adhere to your device and one needs to be a PhD in putting sh*t together to apply the Shield. And it's not just that, but the company is selling these things for $25 a pop when there are cheaper and easier to apply alternatives out there ranging from fewer than $10 for this kind of stuff to free for simply not being a dipsh*t and putting your iPhone in a different f*cking pocket from your keys. And let me touch on one point Money McBags previously mentioned, they don't actually own the patent on the materials that go in to the Shields, they merely have exclusive marketing rights and Money Mcbags is pretty sure that if this were a real business opportunuty, Apple would out negotiate Zagg for those exclusive marketing rights and sell the product themselves. [more]
June 28, 2010 –
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RELATED TICKERS: ISLE
, BA
Stocks were bouncing around today as macro data came out, courts made some rulings, and the Unicorn meat industry took a hit. Consumer spending numbers were reported and shockingly, income grew faster than spending which means that either the numbers are going to be adjusted later, consumers had their credit card lines lowered significantly, or common sense has crept back in to the US consumer after a 30 year Dionysian spending orgy (and Money McBags will vote for 1 or 2 before he votes for 3). Spending was up .2% which beat the median guess, while incomes were up .4%, pushing the savings rate to its highest level in 8 months since back when people were snowed in and couldn't overconsume. [more]
June 25, 2010 –
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RELATED TICKERS: BBRY
, MLNK
, QCOR
The market is up today after congress reached an agreement on legislation to better regulate the financial services industry after only two short years of debate and an economy that people have less faith in than Scientology. The legislation, being called the Dodd-Frank bill (and Money McBags only laments that Senator Tim Johnson did not sponsor the bill instead of Senator Dodd and thus we could have had the Johnson-Frank bill), was watered down though as politicians were worried it might actually accomplish something so they unanimously decided take out anything that might cause someone to change anything meaningful that they do. If passed, the new laws will include the creation of a Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (whose first rule of action will be to tell people to stop borrowing so much f*cking money), a requirement for banks to segregate their derivatives portfolios by doing more than just creating separate water fountains for them on the trading floor (though banks are still allowed to use derivatives to hedge, still allowed to trade currency and interest rate swaps, and still allowed have a few years to move their CDS into capitalized subsidiaries, so suck on that Blanche Lincoln), and a monthly reminder to be delivered by Timothy Geithner to stop f*cking so much sh*t up. What the legislation doesn't do is restrict the size of banks and thus banks still have ability to grow too big to fail (which is the only way banks won't fail). The most controversial act though was the Volcker Rule which was supposed to limit banks from proprietary trading through bank owned investment vehicles for the near future until banks could find loopholes around it. Luckily, they won't have to waste their valuable time finding loopholes as the rule now merely limits banks' ability to invest in these kind of investment funds to no more than 3% of a bank's tangible equity or 3% of a fund's capital, so bankers can go back to spending their time dreaming of AnnaLynne Mccord and new products to be used for predatory lending. [more]
June 24, 2010 –
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RELATED TICKERS: KIRK
, NKE
, DFS
The market tanked at the end of the session like Money McBags' day which has caused today's column to be late, short, and in need of one more read through, but it is what it is. You see, Money McBags was cranking away at his terminal, busily breaking down the news, perusing 10Ks for cheap stocks, and most importantly scouring the interweb for just the right picture of Kelly Brook, when life got in the way and he was called out to the cruel cruel world to fix some dumb sh*t. With dumb sh*t marginally fixed, Money McBags is drained of his energy and thus will be publishing his halfway done column today. It ain't Shakespeare or Fante, but luckily it also isn't Santelli, Colmes, or Bartiromo, and so it goes... [more]
June 23, 2010 –
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RELATED TICKERS: KIRK
, JBL
, KMX
The market was only marginally down today despite terrible macro data and a Fed statement about as optimistic as Nouriel Roubini at a funeral (the funeral of course would be for the US economy). New home sales dropped 33% to a record low as once again, and for all of you keeping score at home, THE GOVERNMENT TAX CREDIT EXPIRED (caps and exasperation intentional). According to the New York Times, analysts guessed home sales would drop to 400k from April's previously reported 504k, while according to CNBC, analysts guessed home sales would drop to 410k, and finally according to the WSJ analysts guessed home sales would drop to 430k, so no matter what news source you used, analyst guesses were still f*ck awful and worse than Manute Bol's skin. On average, analysts predicted a ~19% drop in new home sales but the number being reported is a drop to 300k, so analysts' guesses of a 19% drop were off by ~25%. Wow. Money McBags wonders if their regression models suffer from colinearity, heteroskedasticty, or just stupid f*cking dependent variables. To be that wrong about something and yet still be called professionals stretches the definition of the word "credibility" in ways that would make even Noah Webster's dictionary flaccid. And as usual, making the numbers seem slightly better is that last month's new home sales number was manipulated (Money Mcbags means readjusted) downward to 446k from 504k. So the drop being reported is 33%, or 446k to the all-time record low measurement of 300k when in actuality, the number fell 40% from 504k (which was the reported f*cking number last month) to 300k. Readjusting the number downward before the awful report left 7% of "down" out of the reaction of investors who weren't paying attention and instead were busy trying to figure out who they have to f*ck to get a job at CNN (And now we finally have a delightful answer to that). Making matters worse is that the supply of homes on the market was up 47% leaving an 8.5 month inventory (though the denominator in that equation, which Money McBags believes is the current annualized sales rate, is creeping towards zero which means we are getting closer to an undefined supply of homes on the market at which point Money McBags believes they should all logically be free and thus homelessness in this country will cease to exist, so perhaps that is the admirable goal of all of this). The point is, home sales/employment/Heidi Montag were all manipulated up over the past few months by tax breaks, stimulus plans, and plastic surgeons, but now that that is over, they are starting to turn back down and that could be worse than eating a sh*t sandwich with extra E. coli. [more]
June 22, 2010 –
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RELATED TICKERS: NTRI
, BP
, WGO
The market had trouble finding a direction for most of the day as news is thin and the summer is beginning so most volume is moving to the Hamptons where portfolio managers can sip on lemonade, listen to yacht rock, and denigrate the poor all while ignoring the economic data which has been so lackluster that it is in line for its own NBC prime time sitcom (tentatively titled: Just Dilute Me!). There was one bit of macro data released today which was about as encouraging as the letter "L" is to Jackie Chan on a read through script and helped send the market tumbling end of day. Purchases of existing homes fell last month and somehow analysts are surprised about that since reading comprehension is not one of their strong suits and thus they missed the part about the government tax credit running out and sales being pulled forward like Eddy Curry's pay check. Home sales dropped 2.2% from last month despite near record low mortgage rates and falling prices and are now starting to roll over and play dead like a trained circus dog or Brittany Murphy. The best part is that the National Association of Realtors is blaming part of the drop on a processing delay which is holding up 180k mortgages as apparently the red "Rejected" stamp has run out of ink. Analysts guessed sales would be up 5.5% to 6.12MM homes which was such a close guess that it only missed by a nut hair, that is if the nut hair belonged to a brontosaurus, and not any brontosaurus, but a brontosauros with elephantitis of the nuts. But hey, maybe the 180k "processing" hold up was real (though something smells fishier about it than Paris Hilton's penis flytrap after p*ssing out a Long John Silver's fish taco platter with extra tartar sauce because Money McBags doesn't remember hearing about any processing holdups when 7MM+ mortgages, or 40% more than last month, were being processed monthly in 2005, but whatever). Anyway, if we assume the hold up was real and add the 180k home sales that were delayed due to "processing" to the monthly figures, exisiting home sales would have been up .8% which is still way f*cking short of the 5.5% increase analysts guessed. And making it even worse is that analysts used a lower number to build their forecasts as last month's sales were just readjusted upwards to the 579k number so analysts were actually forecasting greater than 6% growth. Money McBags hasn't seen a miss this bad since Men Who Stare at Goats (and really, that movie was so f*cking awful Money McBags wanted to stare in to the f*cking sun so his retinas would burn and thus he wouldn't have to watch the whole movie) or any economics paper released by Art Laffer. With the expiration of the government tax credit, the real question is if home sales are merely taking a breather after an artifically pulled forward sales surge or if the housing market is about to take another dip and send the economy back to it's bad place. [more]
June 21, 2010 –
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RELATED TICKERS: GS
, AA
, KITDQ
The market rallied today in the morning like a chubby chaser with a bottle of crisco on his way to a Peter Paul Rubens exhibit until it faded in the afternoon thanks to common sense and volume. Rallying the market in the morning was news that China is going to unpeg their currency from the dollar thanks to pressure from global leaders who felt that the currency peg gave China an unfair trade advantage in selling their cheap sh*t even cheaper. The announcement comes ahead of the G-20 summit in Toronto this weekend where finance ministers and central bankers from around the world will no doubt descend upon the NSFW Brass Rail and flaunt their ability to negotiate currency while manipulating bottoming assets (of course after the EU's latest bailout, finance ministers will certainly wonder if that is a printing press in EU central bank governor Jean Claude-Trichet's pants or he is just happy to see them). While it's good that China is willing to let the renminbi/yuan float (and if anyone can explain to Money McBags the difference between "renminbi" and "yuan," other than several letters, he'll send you a free autographed poster of Gong Li), China has stated that they will do it gradually so as to avoid a potential destabilization bubble like what happened in Japan when the yen was unpegged from the dollar in the mid-1980s or like what happened in Britney Spears' pants after she was unpegged from Justin Timberlake. With the return of a "managed floating rate," the yuan/renmindbi/johnson rod was up ~40 bps against the dollar to its highest level in five years which means happy endings just got a little less happy for all of us. [more]
June 18, 2010 –
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RELATED TICKERS: BP
, C
, CRUS
It's quadruple witching Friday today in the market which is unfortunately just the day where stock index futures, stock index options, stock options, and single stock futures all expire and not the day where the market finally gets a 5-some with Elizabeth Montgomery, Barbara Eden, Melissa Joan Hart, and Omarrosa. While this is usually a volatile day, the market has been quieter than the Clinton's bedroom as there has been little macro or company news released today. That said, owners of gold are being showered with rewards as gold has reached a record high today thanks to investors betting against the current fiat system remaining viable. While it's likely we'll hit a deflationary period before inflation takes off like Shawn Kemp from a delivery room, holding gold as part of your portfolio right now as a hedge against volatility and the potential crash of the Euro makes more sense than pairing Suaterenes with a nice foie gras. In other US news, Tim Geithner is apparently getting new and more power which he has easily earned given how he has revived this economy from dead to about to die again and helped to bail out the firms who caused this mess. Geithner is set to lead a new council run by the Treasury Department to identify companies that might be shut down because they pose a risk to the financial system. So does that mean the government is going to shut down the SEC, FCIC, FINRA, FDIC, and NAMBLA? Don't they all do the same f*cking thing? Hey, I know how to solve a problem, let's just create other f*cking groups to do the same thing that current groups do but hope they do it better. Unbelievable. Money McBags just wants to know when more bureaucracy has ever fixed anything other than creating meaningless jobs. Somewhere Josef K. is scratching his head. [more]
June 17, 2010 –
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RELATED TICKERS: AAPL
, WGO
, GS
The market didn't do much today as it tries to come down off its volatility high which was fueled by mass uncertainty, broken technical barriers, and a f*ckload of pixie sticks. In macro news, new claims for unemployment were much worse than analyst guesses and also once again tested the (No) Labor Department's ability to do simple math. Claims were up by 12k, bringing total claims to 472k which would make sense if last week claims weren't 456k. You see, once again we're left with an equal sign that has to be more confused than Chastity Bono's bikini waxer because 456k +12k = 472k only in the land of make believe where it rains gum drops, pants are optional, and everyone looks like Diora Baird. Once again the (No) Labor Department (though the parentheses may drop from the No if claims keep up at these levels) revised last week's number upwards by 4k which only gives initial false optimism and then leads people to believe any of these results about as much as they believe in the existence of the Loch Ness monster, vampires, or Abe Vigoda. All one can glean from things is that directionally things remain bad no matter what made up number is given by Hilda Solis' henchmen and henchwomen and that when the number is released next week, this week's 472k new claims will have been revised up to somewhere between 475k and "we're all f*cked." With the federal government now paying 73 weeks of unemployment on top of the 26 weeks people already receive from the states, 10MM Americans are being paid to fix up their resumes for the one current job opening in this country which is for a ticket taker at the Regal Cinemas in Topeka, Kansas (and if you're interested, just leave your resume in the box). Job growth remains more stunted than He Ping Ping with a bad case of whiskey dick. In other macro news, the Philly Fed announced today that business activity for manufacturers in the Mid-Atlantic region declined which was most surprising because everyone assumed the Philly Fed had been robbed and burned down like everything else in Philadelphia. The Philly Fed's index of business activity fell to 8.0, from 21.4 in May, and was well below analyst guesses of 21.0 since analysts are clueless and no one in Philly can afford sh*t. Finally the CPI was out today and was up 2.2% from last year but basically flat with last month which is a good sign for those worried about inflation but a bad sign that the Fed is going to continue to keep rates at a level where the next bubble is only a financially engineered instrument away. [more]
June 16, 2010 –
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RELATED TICKERS: BP
, QCOR
, FNMA
First of all, Money McBags would like to thank all of you for your feedback yesterday. His inbox is currently overflowing like Whitezilla's urethra after downing three cases of Mountain Dew in ten minutes (and feel free to google "Whitezilla" on your own time, Money McBags refuses to link to it due to good taste) but he promises to try to get back to each and everyone of you. The feedback was helpful as Money McBags learned that he does both too much analysis and not enough, the posts are both too long and too short, and the jokes both add to the analysis and detract from it. The only thing that was universal was that his readers love the pics so Money McBags is thinking of dropping all subject matter, words, and rational thought and turning WGP into another NSFW photo site. Anyway, Money McBags is still just short of his goal of 1MM visitors so if you all could spread the word, he will be able to continue to provide you with what you like best. [more]
June 15, 2010 –
That's right, Money McBags is off until Wednesday, unplugged like a high frequency trading system during the "flash crash" (though far less nefarious), as he tries to find the meaning of life. He is pretty sure the meaning of life involves accelerating sales, low discount rates, and plenty of Hayley Atwell, but he needs to find out for sure. [more]
June 11, 2010 –
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RELATED TICKERS: BP
, MLNK
The market has been relatively quiet today after yesterday's meteoric rise on news less relevant than the Pound-Dong exchange rate (and oddly enough Pound Dong was also the name of Alexis Texas' last movie) or the 93rd decimal of Pi (which incidentally is 2). In US macro news, consumer sentiment was better than analysts guessed, largely because the survey was taken on payday and was done while Melinda Messenger lovingly massaged consumers' fears away. The index came in at 75.5 which was up from 73.6 last month and above the median guess of 74.5 and was driven by consumers' stated interest in buying durable goods such as cars and storage crates to put all of their sh*t in when the repo man comes to take over their homes. Interestingly enough, while consumer sentiment was up, US retail sales dropped proving once again that actions speak louder than words and all of the data is made up anyway. Spending fell 1.2% last month driven by auto sales being down 1.7% even though according to the consumer sentiment numbers, peple are looking to buy autombiles. These two data points couldn't be more diametrically opposed than John Calvin and free will, Hemmingway and adjectives, or Richard Simmons and pants. Consumers intend to buy cars, but they're not. Hmmm, maybe because 10% of them are unemployed and another 10% are underemployed or just not looking? Hey, Money McBags intends to buy a gold plated, diamond encrusted caviar dispenser that runs on the dreams of wide-eyed children, but he is just a few million euro short, but that is just a minor detail. So University of Michigan, put that in to your ridiculously misleading consumer sentiment survey and report it. One other interesting data point from the consumer spending numbers warrants mentioning and that is that sales in hardware stores were down 9.3% which likely means that people are spending less time fixing up their houses as they anticipate foreclosure. [more]
June 10, 2010 –
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RELATED TICKERS: BP
, GS
, KITDQ
Readers, Money McBags apologizes for his absence yesterday, unfortunately he has a life outside of the great When Genius Prevailed and that life required him to spend all day watching Anna Paquin scenes now that she is oh so comfortable with her bisexuality, so you can't really fault him for that. Anyway, today the market seems to be running like a lobotomized senior citizen with an advanced case of alzhemiers as it forgets Europe is about to collapse under a pile of oversized debt, the US unemployment rate is stagnating like the rebuilding of the Twin Towers, and the great Hannah Hilton remains retired. That said, short term macro news is pushing the markets to new heights, levels it hasn't seen since at least last Friday, so ring those bells because the economy is all of a sudden back (until tomorrow). [more]
June 08, 2010 –
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RELATED TICKERS: KITDQ
, MCD
, AAPL
The market was relatively quiet today as there was a lack of macro news though Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke was out late Monday saying: "My best guess is that we’ll have a continued recovery, but it won’t feel terrific like a blumpkin from Sara Varone followed by a nice wipe with that oh so soft aloe infused Cottonelle. Instead, it will feel more like having you nut hairs pulled out while listening to the smooth adult contemporary sounds of Sade". Ok, Money McBags made part of that up but that's not the point, the point is, Bernanke is hedging on this recovery like he just bought FAZ in his IRA. While he says the economy won't likely have a double dip recession, he did not say it wouldn't have a single dip recession followed by a falling off the cliff depression, so it's merely a matter of semantics. Bernanke also dusted off his Phillips curve (though it wasn't as curvy as Kimberly Phillips) and added that the central bank would raise rates before the economy returns to full employment, which should be any century now. That's great, but Money McBags would like to know what the full employment rate is? Is it 4%, 6%, or whatever proof the whiskey was that Milton Friedman was drinking when he came up with NAIRU (seriously Milt, you couldn't have come up with a catchier name than the Non-Accelerating Inflation Rate of Unemployment? Really? That name could put Ritalin out of business because just reading it has to make even the most hyperactive person drowsy.)? The point is, the full employment rate is a bogus hurdle as there is no set rate so saying rates will rise before we reach that level is as helpful as saying you'll stop running when you catch the horizon. With the stimulus funds coming to an end over the next few quarters and the economy already starting to show signs of coming down from its stimulus induced bender where it got drunk off of bail outs and hand outs and now finds itself waking up in a pool of its own spending while dry humping Greece's Aegean coast to the sweet whisperings of Benjamin S. Bernanke and and his magical money making machine, the economy is in a precarious position (though not as precarious of a position as Kirstie Alley's girdle). [more]
June 07, 2010 –
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RELATED TICKERS: GS
, BP
, MLNK
The market was chugging along today, taking a brief respite to lick its wounds after Friday's jobs report gave even the most virulent Bull a bad case of Foot in the Mouth disease, until it dropped precipitously in the last half hour like Helen Thomas' reputation at a B'nai B'rith fundraiser. With Europe's ongoing debt problems and the US' stagnant at best job growth, investing long in the market remains more perilous than fighting a land war in Russia in the deepest of winters (though not as deep as Money McBags would go in Ophelie Winter) or challenging Anamika Veeramani to a spelling bee (or just challening Anamika Veeramani to spell her name). The US news that had the most effect on the markets early today was that Goldman Sachs was issued a subpoena from the FCIC, also known as the "too little, too late" commission. Money McBags eagerly awaits the FCIC's findings in several years, after no doubt much excrutiatingly toilsome research and much tax payer money has been spent, where they will 100% determine that we are f*cked (of course we could save the time and money and just look for the reset button, but that would be too easy). Seriously, that we need a 10 member commisson to figure this out makes as much sense as firing an employee because she is too hot (reason #989 why C is going to $0. And as an aside, if Money McBags owned a bank, he would hire Ms. Lorenzana to manage his branch deposits anyday). Anyway, the subpeona was issued as Goldman refused to submit documents the commission requested and when reached for comment, a Goldman spokesman said they just wanted to see if FCIC Commissioner Heather H. Murren would deliver the subpoena in person. All along, Goldman Sachs has maintained that the suit is “unfounded in law and fact” and if one can't believe what a company that has manipulated the market while bringing in absorbitant profits and destroying value for average citizens thanks to their buddy-buddy taint tickling relationship with the federal government says, then whom can one trust? As Money McBags has maintained all along, Goldman and every other Wall Street bank were complicit in the destruction of the US financial system and it would be easier to find incriminating evidence on them than it is to find rolls of back fat on a topless, sunbathing Kathy Bates, you just need to find someone with the stomach to do that dirty job. So it's good that the FCIC is trying to grow a sac and go after them, but until they actually make some charges, this is all still lip service (though if the lip service is coming from the aforementioned Heather Murren, perhaps it's not all that bad). [more]
June 04, 2010 –
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RELATED TICKERS: MCD
, WMT
, JOEZ
The (No) Labor Department's jobs report came out today and was well below analyst guesses which sent the market tumbling like Tony Hayward's Q score at a Greenpeace convention. The US added 431k jobs in May which was the biggest increase in a single month in over a decade since the internet was founded and needed people to set up all of the tubes. While on the surface that number seems spanktastic (though not nearly as spanktastic as Rosie Huntington-Whiteley who Money McBags would let hunt his whitey anytime), the market was surprisingly not fooled by it. First of all, analysts had guessed 500k jobs would be created so the actual number came up shorter than a Kristen Bell skirt or Bernie Madoff's alibi. But what makes matter worse is if one digs in to the numbers it is doubtful any real jobs were created despite the government claiming that a whopping 41k private sector jobs were created, and honestly, bragging about 41k private sector jobs being created is like bragging that you won the spelling bee on the short bus. But let's look at the numbers more closely. [more]
June 03, 2010 –
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RELATED TICKERS: JOEZ
, BP
The market held steady today like the Universe according to Fred Hoyle or the unemployment rate over the past several months. Speaking of unemployment, jobs data came out in advance of tomorrow's already leaked positive government non farm payrolls report which will no doubt feature a birth/death model plug so large that it will be able to stop up even Jennifer Lopez's ample backside. Today's release by ADP showed that private firms added 55k jobs in May which was below the 70k guessed by economists. That said, 55k new jobs out of 20MM unemployed workers is so irrelevant it's like the Octomom and her likely cavernous hoohah getting any pleasure out of being boned by the late great He Ping Ping and his little ding ding. It's called a hot dog down a hallway my friends. Also, new claims for unemployment fell by 10k from 460k to 453k as the Labor Department apparently hired Dostoevsky's Underground Man as their accountant and he finally got his wishes of 2 x 2 not equalling 4. Last week Money McBags reported on the 14k drop in new claims to bring the number down to 460k, but the Labor Department went to work (pun intended) and recounted their made up estimates and have revised last week's new claims upwards to get to 463k which means claims dropped by 11k and not 14k last week. So that is how 460k - 10k = 453k. Money McBags eagerly awaits next week's made up number that will also test the limits of believability and mathematics like claiming Josie Maran isn't hot or trying to divide her awesomeness by zero. In other macro news, the ISM’s index of non-manufacturing businesses came in at 55.4 for the third month in a row which was below the median guess of 55.6 but still showed some expansion with the service sector going from flacid to half mast. [more]
June 02, 2010 –
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RELATED TICKERS: ISLE
, F
, CTGX
It was a relatively quiet day in the market today which is more of a rarity than a downward sloping supply curve, a funny Adam Sandler movie, or a bad picture of Olivia Munn. The market was up though as pending home sales shot through the roof, of course now someone will have to go back and fix the f*cking roof so the buyers won't back out, but those are just details. Home sales rocketed up 6% but the government first time home buyers tax credit ended in April so sales were likely more pulled forward than a lottery winner's payout or the keg tap at David Hasselhoff's house at breakfast. So while it is exciting that pending home sales went up, it's way too early to suck each other's dicks about it (though if you're Alice Eve and it's Money McBags dick, then it is never too early, or too often) as next month's sales should be down appreciably, like Steven Rattner's reputation or the mood at a suicide prevention hotline going away party. In other real estate news, mortgage applications fell for the 4th consecutive week and if you read the f*cking analysis in the sentence directly before this, you will know why. And in the latest job report by some outplacement firm called Challenger, job cuts were just as bad as last month though 65% better than last year, so welcome to your new normal. [more]
June 01, 2010 –
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RELATED TICKERS: NTZ
, GOOG
, AAPL
Stocks bounced around today like BP's excuses for the Gulf oil spill or like Kelly Brook's "oil domes" while she jumps on a trampoline. Solid US economic data pushed the market in to positive territory in the morning, giving investors a slight glimmer of hope before that hope was flushed away like a 3 story building in a Guatelamian sink hole or the Sears Tower in Paris Hilton's pants. Leading off the slew of economic reports was that manufacturing in the US grew at a faster pace than analysts guessed with the ISM index coming in at 59.7, a whopping .7 above expectations. The rounding error was driven by increased demand for exports which will clearly be short lived as the dollar strengthens against the Euro. That said, the ISM's employment gauge climbed to its highest level since May 2004 when the subprime boom was still just a twinkle in Alan Greenspan's eye. Factories did add 101k workers through the first four months of the year which is likely a huge relief for the 20MM americans still unemployed, and yes, that was sarcasm. Construction spend in the US also rose by 2.7% which was the most since April of 2000 but it was likely spurred by the ending of the first time home buyers tax credit so it is more likely an outlier (like the straight Wiggle) than a sign of real recovery. [more]
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