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DaretothREdux (49.28)

December 2008

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11

How to "FIX" the U.S. Economy

December 31, 2008 – Comments (13) | RELATED TICKERS: GMA , C , AIG

Step 1: Elect a tax and spend liberal.  [more]

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9

MONEY: A Fable, Part 1

December 23, 2008 – Comments (8) | RELATED TICKERS: USA

Once upon a time there was a town called Usa. Usa was very old and prosperous town. All the Usaians were taught in school about how their great town had become so prosperous. But seeing as how you are most likely unfamiliar with their story, I will recount these events for you. The abundant wealth of the Usaians was due to a gathering, years before, of the smartest Usaian people. These people are often refered to in Usaian history as the foundas. The foundas gathered together and wrote down a detailed plan. This plan would later become know by all Usaians as the Rules for Prosperity.   [more]

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8

POLL: IS THIS UNAMERICAN???

December 20, 2008 – Comments (13) | RELATED TICKERS: AME , RIC , AN

Alright CAPS community I need your opinion here. All of my blogs have been Satire thus far except for this one. My last blog was not as well recieved as its prequel-blog. Probably because no one was able to understand my newest blog unless they had read the first one.   [more]

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8

LACK of BAILOUT claims 1st CAUSALITY

December 19, 2008 – Comments (11) | RELATED TICKERS: AIG , GM , C

Daretoth News earlier this month reported on the unfolding tragedy, occurring at the North Poll. Today, we bring you the worst possible news: Grimy the elf died this afternoon, surrendering to starvation at approximately 4 PM NPT (North Poll Time).   [more]

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17

Barak Obama's Heroin HOPE

December 18, 2008 – Comments (23) | RELATED TICKERS: C , AIG , GM

You don't need protection, you can drop the soap---  [more]

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13

Santa to Cut 75,000 Jobs!

December 12, 2008 – Comments (10) | RELATED TICKERS: V , VXF

Sadly, news came in toady from the north poll that Santa Claus a.k.a. “Big Nick” as he is known by his employees will be laying off 75,000 elves this holiday season. The elves who only work for room and board are outraged. Santa told reporters today that American’s unwillingness to charge thousands of dollars to credit cards this holiday season drastically dropped the share price of his 401K.   [more]

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