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Evlampius (90.73)

E-cow-nomics

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April 23, 2008 – Comments (9) | RELATED TICKERS: SWN , SWX

Today I came to the conclusion that I should buy a cow. I mean, prices for milk and other dairy products are continuing  to rise with geometric progression. And my wife and I are both milk lovers, patriotically consuming cereal every morning. 

Well, of course there will be a stench and the moo-ing along the road but lets look on the bright side. First you will have an UMR (Unlimited Milk Resource). Half of the food waste we throw away will be recycled through that cow-chewing-machine.  

Pointing to the rally of rising utilities and natural resources prices worldwide, did you know that cow’s manure can be easily converted into methane and then used as a free gas in industrial burners. If you convert your home power supply to be run on Natural Gas with NG power generators, I believe one cow will be sufficient enough to supply with heat and electricity at least a 2000 sq. ft. house (depends of course on how much that thing craps…)  

Thusly, it is quite evident that the benefits for having a cow outweigh the costs to the greatest extent. The NPV of a cow is positive with the Sharpe ratio of 0.5706. 

Recommendation: Strong Buy on cows!

P.S. An interesting fact that I learned in my anthropology course: an African tribe (we’ll call it !N’yanga-!N’yanga) use cows as their currency. I mean with a weakening dollar  and all, forget the M1 and the M2, I think we should be holding some hard currencies (such as…cows.).  Fed! Do not send me that stimulus package you promised, send me a cow!

 

9 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On April 23, 2008 at 9:35 PM, Evlampius (90.73) wrote:

P.P.S  my wife thought it is a great idea only she raised a cncern that we want a cow
that will produce organic milk without fat

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#2) On April 23, 2008 at 9:45 PM, FourthAxis (85.04) wrote:

You might even be able to ride it to work and save on gas!

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#3) On April 23, 2008 at 9:58 PM, Evlampius (90.73) wrote:

P.P.S  my wife thought it is a great idea only she raised a cncern that we want a cow
that will produce organic milk without fat

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#4) On April 23, 2008 at 11:30 PM, Evlampius (90.73) wrote:

Lol FourthAxis - you're right!! and its 4x4 too!

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#5) On April 24, 2008 at 12:06 AM, kristm (99.71) wrote:

As long as you can avoid feeding her corn or corn-based products... You'd be better off buying milk if that's the case.

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#6) On April 24, 2008 at 9:47 AM, Evlampius (90.73) wrote:

lol

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#7) On April 25, 2008 at 2:58 AM, StockSpreadsheet (63.50) wrote:

California has lots of cows that give milk.  Cows eat grasses and grains.  According to the comercials on TV, California has happy cows.  California is also one of the biggest marijuana-growing regions in the U.S..  Slang for marijuana is grass.  Maybe the reason that the cows are so happy in California is that they are eating the "wrong" type of "grass".  As a benefit, "grass" is organic, so the "happy cows" would be giving "organic milk".  Gotta love that organic milk.  It could make you happy.

By the way, cows also belch and fart a lot.  They are supposed to be the second biggest natural generator of methane after termites, (though cows may have passed termites over the past few years).  If you could figure out how to get the gas from the cow and store it, you could double your production of methane as opposed to the quantity that you would get from just composting the manure.  Something to think about if you are trying to run your house off of cow gas.

Craig 

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#8) On May 10, 2008 at 2:06 PM, Evlampius (90.73) wrote:

Spreadsheet,

I am absolutely amazed by your unbeatable logic! :)

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#9) On May 24, 2008 at 3:56 AM, AnomaLee (30.09) wrote:

With your persuasive skills you could work on Wall Street or run for office...

I was considering buying solar panels, but this is seeming to make more sense.

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