10 Reasons for Coomodities Bust
May 30, 2008
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RELATED TICKERS: MOO
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10) Regulators decide to investigate speculators. Still trying to find their telephone numbers.
9) Not to be outdone, Congress decides to investigate regulators. Can't find their telephone numbers either.
8) FDA rules that petroleum products can no longer be used in margarine.
7) Major oil field discovered under White House.
6) Oops, oil discovery is actually secret pieline for syphoning oil.
5) Merril Lynch, Pierce, Fenner, and Smith merging with Socco and Venzetti to form new a capella group. (sorry, writers on strike).
4) Rice exports resume in Vietnam and Thailand after rats have their fill.
3) India decides basmati rice tastes much better than whole wheat, explaining wheat's 40% drop.
2) Rumor circulates that T. Boone Pickens makes calls on oil prices by throwing darts.
1) U.K. banks discover they can't even spell LIBOR, so what the hell was the dollar worth anyway?