A completely off-topic rant about Prince Caspian
I believe I have already mentioned that C.S. Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia are my favorite works of fiction, and they have inspired me to become a novelist. The feeling that I get from reading them and remembering the first time I read them is something that I cannot describe to anyone who does not feel the same way, but it is powerful.
So it was with great anticipation that I looked forward to this past Friday's release of the cinematic adaptation of Prince Caspian, the 2nd chronicle of Narnia (to have been written), and sequel to the surprisingly faithfully adapted The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. I was flabbergasted how frivolous the treatment was. I tried not to set my expectations too high, but the whole plot and all the most important characters were completely distorted.
So, to help make the next sequel, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, the best movie it can be and therefore popular with all true fans of Narnia, I am offering these helpful tips to the producers:
1. That sweet, lovable child you cast as Eustace must be replaced by someone not so charming.
2. Caspian pining over his apocryphal love for Susan should be cut from the script entirely, as it will just remind true Narnia fans of their fury at your betrayal in Prince Caspian.
3. Reepicheep should be in the movie. He is, in fact, a central character. Please rewrite the script accordingly.
3b. Reepicheep might have learned manners since his turn as a bratty American rat in PC, and should now be the chivalrous mouse that Lewis wrote about.
4. Please cut the part in the script where Caspian does a daring midnight raid to free the Lone Isles from the grip of Sopespian's brother. It's okay for the corrupt governor not to be related to the bad guys from PC, and furthermore it is just fine to use Lewis' brilliant device instead of a clichéd Hollywood device.
5. Please cut the dragon-slaying part. Again, what Lewis wrote is just fine; what you are writing is clichéd.
6. Please cut the grand naval battle with the Calormenes.
7. Please don't treat the silliness of the duffers so timidly as I know you're going to. Embrace the silliness.
8. Please have more reading of the spellbook.
9. Please have more respect for Ramandu's daughter.
10. Please don't skimp on the Last Sea. It is just too cool to rush through, the way you did with Aslan's healing of Beruna.