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Are You As Excited As I Am?



March 26, 2011 – Comments (25)

Latest 2012 Gallup polling shows Mike Huckabee leading the GOP pack.

Wow, aren't you excited? Does it get any more compelling than the Huckster vs. Barry Obama?  It's worth it to die in a traffic accident on the way to the polls to be a part of something this special!  Huckabee vs. Obama. Man oh man.  This is going to be more thrilling than the Cavs-Pistons game last night.

Speaking of cults, I was thinking the other day about judges. What's with the black robes and the "Your Honor" stuff?  If I ever end up in court, I think I'll address the judge by his first name.  "I plead not guilty, Tom."  Black robes are for cult leaders.

But that's all part of the religion of Statism. You need those things because otherwise people might ask questions like, "who the eff are you to judge my actions?"  We can't have anybody asking questions.

Ok, back to Chucklebee vs. the Bracketologist

On the one side you have an unapologetic warmonger and on the other side you have Huckabee.  One's a talk show host and the other is a slick talker. Both are incredibly talented at faking real human emotion and sincerity. In fact, I think the Huckleberry might trump Obama on the crocodile tears scale. Have you ever heard him wax poetic about the mass murder machine?  How **we** owe it to all those brave soldiers to stay until victory is complete in whatever country we're in doing whatever the heck it is we're doing?

The Huckster, he's a trip. He even has his own army. Of course, Huck's Army is mostly comprised of Chickenhawks.  Here's the thing about Huck and his Army: they want to tell you how to live pretty much every aspect of your life but they don't actually want to be the ones to enforce the rules. They leave that to the poor and desperate (see: TSA.)

And if you haven't figured it out yet, this is why the State, in general, desires a permanent poverty-stricken class.  They need these desperate people to carry out their plans. Someone has to be the thug pointing the gun, because it's not like Barry Obama or the Huckster are going to do it.

So you need that.

And if you're going to have your big popularity contest between two plastic men like Obama and Huck, you definitely need to rig the election rules to exclude all other candidates. The message is: This is the best we can do folks. Get over it. Pick one.

I'd rather shake hands with my governor than with Governor Huck or The Moral Leader of Our Time. As George Carlin once said about America's election fetish, "when I'm done masturbating, at least I have something to show for it."

David in Qatar

25 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On March 26, 2011 at 11:37 AM, catoismymotor (< 20) wrote:

The Huckster is a former Baptist preacher. A former man of God. Former. Which tells me he decided to ditch God in favor of a more influential and profitable endeavor...politics. Those rallying behind him are easily led by anyone claiming to be doing the Christian God's work. He knows the songs to play on his pipe to hypnotise them into working for him. They will never be convinced he gave up working for the big guy in order to become the big guy. Thus they are right wing sheeple.

The only thing he has to offer me is his support of The FairTax. No matter how gung-ho I am on that subject it is not enough to sway me.

Nice Carlin quoye.


P.S. - I want Romney to take the Republican lead. He looks good and speaks well. That should make him a match for BHO. Is that shallow of me? Yes. But we are talking about politics, right?

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#2) On March 26, 2011 at 11:38 AM, catoismymotor (< 20) wrote:

Quoye = Quote

Today is Replace Your T With A Y Day.

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#3) On March 26, 2011 at 11:40 AM, geneticbiscuit (82.64) wrote:

Ok, back to Chucklebee vs. the Bracketologist

Disappointed that you didn't go with "Baraketologist" there David...really would have put it over the top.

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#4) On March 26, 2011 at 11:41 AM, geneticbiscuit (82.64) wrote:

Baraketogolist = Baracketologist...

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#5) On March 26, 2011 at 11:48 AM, whereaminow (< 20) wrote:

Oh snap!  Ruined the whole joke. Nice catch genetic. I even proofread this sucker and didn't catch it.

David in Qatar

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#6) On March 26, 2011 at 12:12 PM, RonChapmanJr (29.94) wrote:


With the ideas you espouse I doubt you will even have the option to plead "not guilty" if they take you to "court".  Be careful if you come back to the states. 

I'll take Huckabee any day of the week over The Teleprompter.

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#7) On March 26, 2011 at 12:21 PM, whereaminow (< 20) wrote:


With the ideas you espouse I doubt you will even have the option to plead "not guilty" if they take you to "court". 

Hey, did you hear that Al Qaeda is our ally now? I don't even know what that means but I think it's pretty cool that they're trying stuff. Maybe I can be the State's best friend one day too.

David in Qatar

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#8) On March 26, 2011 at 1:06 PM, whereaminow (< 20) wrote:

One of Glenn Greenwald's best articles should be added here:

(I do, obviously, like Glenn. He is a liberal and mostly economically illiterate, but he is a champion of freedom and definitely an enemy of the State. Like Thaddeus Russell, he is one of the thoughtful liberals that I have tremendous admiration for.)

"Those who support countless insane policies and/or who support politicians in their own party who do – from the Iraq War to the Drug War, from warrantless eavesdropping and denial of habeas corpus to presidential assassinations and endless war in the Muslim world – love to spit the "crazy" label at anyone who falls outside of the two-party establishment.

This behavior is partially driven by the adolescent/high-school version of authoritarianism (anyone who deviates from the popular cliques – standard Democrats and Republicans – is a fringe loser who must be castigated by all those who wish to be perceived as normal), and is partially driven by the desire to preserve the power of the two political parties to monopolize all political debates and define the exclusive venues for Sanity and Mainstream Acceptability.  But regardless of what drives this behavior, it’s irrational and nonsensical in the extreme.

I’ve been writing for several years about this destructive dynamic: whereby people who embrace clearly crazy ideas and crazy politicians anoint themselves the Arbiters of Sanity simply because they’re good mainstream Democrats and Republicans and because the objects of their scorn are not.  For me, the issue has nothing to do with Ron Paul and everything to do with how the "crazy" smear is defined and applied as a weapon in our political culture.  Perhaps the clearest and most harmful example was the way in which the anti-war view was marginalized, even suppressed, in the run-up to the attack on Iraq because the leadership of both parties supported the war, and the anti-war position was thus inherently the province of the Crazies.  That’s what happens to any views not endorsed by either of the two parties." - Glenn Greenwald,

David in Qatar

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#9) On March 26, 2011 at 1:17 PM, BillyTG (29.43) wrote:

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#10) On March 26, 2011 at 1:48 PM, whereaminow (< 20) wrote:


Btw, I didn't mean to blow you off, but I understand what you're saying. In fact, I wrote about it here.

If you ask "Why do I have to do that?" enough times you will eventually find out.

David in Qatar

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#11) On March 26, 2011 at 2:31 PM, tomlongrpv (63.26) wrote:

David in Qatar

+1 rec.  It always interesting to read how anarchists (aka libertarians) view things.

Unfortunately I cannot upload an MP3 file and I cannot find the song below on the internet, but I can at least provide the lyrics which I thought you would appreciate given your comments about judges.  It should be sung to the tune of "So Happy Together" by "The Other Guys." (available on Itunes).  Note too that it was former Chief Justice Rehnquist who started the custom of the US Supreme Court judges wearing Gilbert and Sullivan style robes.  Perhaps wigs should be added.

By the way, I accept your guilty plea.  (Just kidding.)

Tom Long

"The Judge Song"  (author anonymous for obvious reasons)

Imagine me as God, I do
I think about it day and night
It feels so right
To be a Federal District Judge
And know that I'm
Appointed forever

I was annointed by the President
A revelation told that I was heaven sent
And Congress in their wisdom granted their consent
Appointed forever

I'm a Federal Judge and I'm smarter than you
For all my life
I can do whatever I want to do
For all my life

Bring to me discovery
No matter what the issue is I guarantee
Somebody will be sanctioned as the penalty
And there'll be no error

My decisions cannot be questioned by you
I''m always right
And my wise discretion is never abused
For all my life

Think of me as royalty
When you appear before me
fall upon your knees
All knowing and omnipotent
It's nice to be
Appointed forever



Even at the very worst
If you decide to take me up to get reversed
You'll have to get the Circuit Court to hear you first
And that takes forever.

Appointed forever
Employed forever
Appointed forever

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#12) On March 26, 2011 at 3:31 PM, AltData (32.08) wrote:

All I know is Huckabee plays a pretty mean Bass.

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#13) On March 26, 2011 at 5:11 PM, whereaminow (< 20) wrote:

Wow, 17 recs on a Saturday for my rambling irreverence =D


That was an interesting tidbit. Thanks for sahring.


He does that. He and Slick WIllie could form the first ever President's band. Is it racist that I think Obama can rap? We could put Jimmy Carter on the drums. GWB could play the Triangle. That's about all I'd trust him with.

David in Qatar

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#14) On March 26, 2011 at 5:41 PM, AltData (32.08) wrote:

>>He does that. He and Slick WIllie could form the first ever President's band. <<

You're talking like Huckabee has already won the presidency.

I'm voting Ron Paul.

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#15) On March 26, 2011 at 5:51 PM, kdakota630 (29.15) wrote:

Question for the libertarians in CAPSland:

Do any of you have a Republican preference other than Ron Paul?

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#16) On March 26, 2011 at 6:19 PM, whereaminow (< 20) wrote:


You're talking like Huckabee has already won the presidency.

Nah, I'm just joking around. In all seriousness, I don't think Huck/Palin/Newt/Romney has a shot in hell against Obama.


I like the use the scale of 100 to -100.  On this scale, Obama is a -78, Huck is a -83, Ron Paul is about a 70.  Gary Johnson would be around a 15. Rand Paul is a 12. Pat Buchanan is a -26.

Not much else on the Republican field makes my nipples hard.

If Ron doesn't run, I'll write in my personal all time fav Michael Bednarik unless the LP produces a real candidate this year. 

David in Qatar

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#17) On March 26, 2011 at 7:36 PM, HarryCaraysGhost (62.11) wrote:

Oh crap!

Politico season is upon us again. (might take a break from Caps until Foolanthrophy time)

As far as the elections go I think my best bet is to write in Ross Perot, just on the principle that a three party system is plausible and might thrive if not held down by the iron fist of the Redempubcrats.

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#18) On March 26, 2011 at 8:13 PM, topsecret10 (< 20) wrote:

  Whats the problem...   Isn't this the way a "REPUBLIC" Is supposed to work ? 

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#19) On March 26, 2011 at 11:59 PM, tomlongrpv (63.26) wrote:

Perhaps the theme for the next Presidential campaign will be based on the following quote from the late Chief Justice Earl Warren:

Many people consider the things government does for them to be social progress but they regard the things government does for others as socialism.
Earl Warren


The Republicans will, of course, endeavor to protect us from "socialism" and make sure that the interests of big business come first.

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#20) On March 27, 2011 at 12:54 AM, caterpillar10 wrote:

The only Republican that could match Obama will never get nominated so Obama will be re elected w/o a doubt. Jon Huntsman is 'tainted' by having served as Obama's ambassador to China and further 'corruped' by being fluent in 2 dialects of the languge spoken by our primary creditor and potential prime customer. Ideologic inflexibility will lock in another loss for the Republicans as far as the white house goes....he can't play no bluegrass and seems intelligent...can't have that by God:)

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#21) On March 27, 2011 at 2:17 AM, russiangambit (28.92) wrote:

I'll vote for anyone who will promise 1. fair tax 2. education vouchers 3. remove the employement mandate from the fed 4. no wars or bases on foreign soil. Since nobody is offering that I don't really care.

I was glad Obama was elected last time around because McCain was on track to start the war with Iran. Obama doesn't seem to be beholden too much to the war machine.

Therefore Dems might be better  than Reps  in my view because the destruction caused by the financial sector is still more tolerable than destruction caused by the "defense" sector. At least, nobody gets killed.

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#22) On March 27, 2011 at 2:44 AM, FleaBagger (27.47) wrote:

Re: Obama rapping - he can't, I'm almost positive. He has no street cred. Zero. He went by "Barry," and his white upbringing seems to come out every time he tries to play up his African heritage. 

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#23) On March 27, 2011 at 11:37 AM, whereaminow (< 20) wrote:


Those are 4 reasonable positions, and though they are not perfect, they are pragmatic steps that are clearly preferrable to the current state of affairs.

(That's why they'll never happen hehe. Oh no, I sound like the snarky crowd.)

David in Qatar

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#24) On March 27, 2011 at 12:31 PM, smartmuffin (< 20) wrote:


Good stuff as usual.  Personally, I'm waiting for a judge who refuses to wear the robe and shows up in jeans and a t-shirt.  Also, what's with the rising when he enters stuff?  It's like we're in the middle ages and these people think they're the pope or something.

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#25) On March 28, 2011 at 11:30 AM, RRobertsmith (< 20) wrote:

This is what I'm afraid of...yes afraid!  That I will right a blog that they say yeach he

 INCITED A RIOT...we had to kick him out of motely fool.

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