Behold Bernanke's Power!
Good old Inkjet Bennie. He managed to float the market for an entire day with his new helicopter pledge. Maybe he should have unbagged those wads of money, though, because it appears that tossing out one-ton sacks might have squashed traders flat. Today's drop obliterated yesterday's good time, alas, but hey, he can always make another speech, right? Maybe drop rates 2% in one swoop?
My wife suggested old Bennie do this: set the funds rate at about -3%. Heck, make all the rates negative. Punish everyone enough for not spending their moolah immediately, or loaning it out to bad credit risks. Borrow money and you'll get paid! But you hafta spend it on something right away. Gotta be worth a try, no? We'll have the economy fixed right up in no time, just in time for an election, maybe.