DJoshuaRubin (98.04)

Behold The Monsters of Greatness Fund

October 06, 2011 – Comments (5)

Fools,

First of all, rest in peace, Steve Jobs - one of the truly greatest human beings the world will ever know.

This is truly a monumental day in American investing history. 

After five long years of tinkering, jiggering, and rejiggering my CAPS portfolio, and continunally realizing how much I do not know and never will know about investing (amortize? Amortize YOUR ARSE) ... After five years of wins, losses, ties... after posting an all-star rating for years ... after skimming (the back cover) of The Black Swan and realizing Taleb is probably right about investing being an impossible pickle rub ... After reading Harry Browne's Fail Safe Investing (a must read), after adopting the permanent portfolio method to my real investments (studying this site The Crawling Road closely) and after hitting some beauty-shots with Foolish picks including UA, CMG, NFLX and ISRG ... after developing a tremendous sense of befuddlement and wonder about our markets ... after laughing at the stupidity of "Efficient" Market Theory as stocks like NFLX swing by billions for questionable reasons ... 

And after trying on 711 CAPS picks for size, I have absolutely, positively perfected my investment method.  Lucky for you all I am building this extraorindary fictional mutual fund, which I call "The Monsters of Greatness Fund" IN PUBLIC! The picks featured in my current CAPS portfolio represent every pick. GTU, VTI, SHY and TLT are actually funds I own, and are here mostly so I can track them against  TMOG Fund. 

A tremendous amount of work, blood, sweat, passion, nudity, late night snacking and other nefarious metrics including astronomy, astrology, the study of goat entrails and color analysis of swinging baboon arses went into each selection. 

But one metric - AND I WILL REVEAL IT TO YOU, DEAREST FOOL - BELOW. For FREE! - towered above all.

Tom and David - you guys know where to reach me to create THE MONSTERS OF GREATNESS FUND premium service (nee Newsletter). I truly believe that put in the Octagaon with Bill Mann's Motley Fool Great America Fund, it will choke that fund out within the first 27 - 43 years. And that's no knock on my hero, Bill Mann. It's just that TMOG is so phenomenal, I love it so very much that tears are flooding my keyboard and soggying up my pumpkin scone as I write. How this scone makes me think of cartwheeling nekkid amidst the exploding colors of autumn leaves - O THE MISCHIEF OF HALLOWEEN AND THE PROMISE OF THANKSGIVING in every bite! (Thank you TMOG pick SBUX!)

But I digress ...

Okay, here is the top-secret metric I used to pick EVERY STOCK in THE fund. (Dang I love when bloggers use inappropriate all-caps)... Here we go.

This is - no joke - the method.

I imagine that I have just gotten a phone call from an attorney who informs me that I am actually the illegitimate grandson of a titan who has died. I find out the titan founded a company. And he has left the company to me.  If, upon hearing the name of the company, I lose any semblance of bowel control ... the stock goes into the Monsters of Greatness fund. Total Loss of Bowel Control (or the TLBC Method) is a complex metric combining my scores assigned to my familiarity and respect for and/or adoration of the company, flowing billions, monopolistic tendencies, and my own ability to leverage owernship in the company to convince my wife to let me build an international harem featuring at least one fatty.)

I might jack it up to 75/100 picks as I realize I would engage in TLBC at more picks (for example American Express)  And I will be blogging on the stocks featured here as my emotional engagement with the fund increases over the years.

Let me also just say that unlike so many jokers in Fooldom whose lame portfolios feature short picks on scam stocks no one will short in real life, ridiculous trend bets (100 stocks to go up if copper rises!) to jack points, along with gaming the CAPS system for more points, TMOG is made of real stocks real people can own with real pride.

One final thought - TMOG has NO regard whatsoever for valuation - a fictional construct deserving of less respect than "yetti" and only slightly more than Abominable Snowman - believing simply that our companies will crush kill and destroy competition using lobbyists, tax dodging, manipulation of federal laws and local zoning laws, exploitation, oppression and anything and everything imaginable to grow and grow and senselessly grow all over the world and solar systsem in perpetuity throughout the universe.

Thank you. And now BEHOLD THE MONSTERS OF GREATNESS FUND!

Best of Luck Fools, 

DJR, Miracle and Founder,