Bet On RED!
The Great Communicator (as the Ministry of Propaganda has dubbed him) gave a speech a couple of days ago explaining in very simple terms why we need bailouts and stimulus. And I paraphrase:People are cutting back because they are afraid they will lose their jobs, and so no one is buying stuff, and when no one buys stuff, businesses cut back on the workforce, and this causes more people to cut back and buy less stuff and save more which is alright unless everyone is doing it at the same time because then there are no customers. SO the government has to buy stuff for you while we wait for the economy to turn around and everyone starts buying again.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank President Obama for explaining this complicated macro-economic event in terms simple enough that a fifth grader could understand: Unless we buy more crap, the economy will suffer so the government must buy crap for us.
That’s the President’s bold economic solution in a nutshell. It’s so stupid it’s brilliant. It’s stupid because it’s exactly what caused the crisis in the first place (too much borrowing and spending…blah blah blah you all have heard it before).
But wait…it’s also brilliant! Because inevitably it will strengthen the power of the U.S. government even more then Bush managed to in the last 8 years. Obama already renewed the Patriot Act, and so the only way to consolidate even more power to the government is to take away our right to property…but in a very sneaky sort of way.
I mean if the government simply raised taxes to 100% and brought out the military to collect everything we make then people might notice they were being stolen from on a massive scale. But make no mistake; every dollar printed is a fraction of a dollar stolen from your savings. Every dollar given to a “Too-BIG-Succeed” insolvent bank/corporation is more of your savings stolen.
But really you have no one to blame but yourself America. How dare you save when the economy is struggling? People are being laid off from their jobs because you wont continue to borrow money and spend beyond your means to pay it back. You ought to be ashamed of yourselves.
The government didn’t want to have to step in and spend your money for you (they are really reluctant heroes in all this), but you give them no choice. And they have no problem spending money they don’t have. After all, it’s not their money, it’s yours…
And finally for any true patriot out there who would like to help America but just can’t bring themselves to spend their own money, you can send me a check with the balance of your life savings or just mail me all your credit cards. I will be taking a trip to the casino soon and I am one crazy gambler when it’s not my money…
So, anyone who thinks the government has the right idea send your money on to me. And don’t worry about it, I will simply be practicing the same theory of economics they practice…except I’m asking politely first (after all it’s for the good of the country), instead of just stealing it from you.
P.S. I’m going to put it all on Red (cause that’s what the banks bet on),