BREAKING NEWS! Motleyanimal Gets Top 100 CAPS Score
An Interview With Motleyanimal
By Dow "MoJo" Jones
Jones: Mr. Animal, you recently became one of the top 100 Motley Fool CAPS players. Congratulations on your achievement.
Motleyanimal: Thank you. Would you like to kiss my heiny?
Jones: Perhaps later. Can you tell our readers how you rose to such lofty heights?
Motleyanimal: Well, I use a stock picking technique that relies heavily on "The Broken Clock Theory."
Jones: Could you elaborate?
Motleyanimal: Certainly. You see it doesn't matter what stocks I pick. Of the hundreds of stocks I pick, at least one or two of them will have an up day and when it gets up over 5 percent, I sell it. Much like a broken clock, I am correct twice a day.
Jones: You seem to have a knack for picking some truly terrible stocks like McClatchy and Circuit City.
Motleyanimal: Yes, I like to think of them like dog waste on the sidewalk. While most people will walk around it, I take a proactive approach and I step right in it.
Jones: Do you think your stock picking method could beat a monkey with a dart board?
Motleyanimal: Probably not, we're not that sophisticated.
Jones: Are you speaking in the third person?
Motleyanimal: That was my left brain speaking. Or was it my right? These lobes all look the same to me.
Jones: Do you think you will stay in the top 100 for very long?
Motleyanimal: I rarely stay anywhere for very long. With police, creditors, alimony, my AA sponsor, pregnant teenagers, I need to stay mobile.
Jones: Do you enjoy investing?
Motleyanimal: Oh yes, there is a certain magic in the markets. You would be amazed how quickly I can make money disappear.
Jones: Finally, may I ask you for your market predictions for the future?
Motleyanimal: Yes. You see the future is unknown. But when it becomes known, then it is no longer the future. You have to anticipate that. It happens a lot.