Calling All Cowards, The TSA Needs You
July 18, 2010
– Comments (3)
As a frequent traveller, this article had me nodding and smiling all the way through. I still can't decide if TSA is worse than Europe's Air Gestapo, but they are all pretty awful and need to be abolished.
Lots of hyperlinks in this one. If you don't know how ruthless and despicable the Air Gestapo really is, follow up on these links. If you ever thought they would operate efficiently or humanely, then slap yourself for being a naive fool.
Thoughts on Europe (good and bad) from my trip coming up early in the week. Stay tuned, as I even have something very nice to say about the Greek government. No, really. I'm not joking. Of course, I have some controversial things coming your way as well.
David in Qatar
Calling All Cowards by Becky Ayers
Like me, you’ve probably wondered where the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) rustles up the gutless baboons it sics on passengers at its security theaters. Or perhaps you’ve speculated about just how low the IQ and morals must sink for a wannabe baboon to grunt, "Hmmm, think I’ll git me a job where I can stand around on the taxpayers’ dime, except for when I’m busy feeling ‘em up and rummagin’ their bags for money and drugs to ‘confiscate,’ heh-heh."
Here’s our answer: pizza boxes. The TSA is advertising for screeners on the boxes in which Washington DC’s pizzerias deliver their product. Though some might praise the agency for its sense of propriety – how fitting that it recruits for its cheesy make-work with a cheese-y pie! – I call it an offense against a beloved treat. Bread, garlicky sauce, melted mozzarella: does dinner come any more delicious than this? The fact that busybodies obsessed with our diet hyperventilate over this innocent pleasure only adds to its allure.
Meanwhile, grab a bucket: you’ll need it to catch your lunch after reading the ad. "A career where X-ray vision and federal benefits come standard," the headline shamelessly proclaims. The TSA’s strip-search machines traumatize victims (including its own employees), are carcinogenic, and do not detect explosives, yet Our Masters exploit the misery for their idea of a witticism. The copy below this insult gushes, "See yourself in a vital role for Homeland Security. Be part of a dynamic security team protecting airports and skies as you proudly secure your future." And hey, you also get to abuse crippled kids, amputees, the elderly, hard-working patriots carrying cash, folks feeling ill, and even those passengers who’ve followed your silly rules to the letter. Yo, Pistole: if the pizza boxes don’t pay off, maybe you can spring for the back cover of Sadists International.
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