Cox and Paulson Need a New Strategy...
So much for the short constraints.Oil Surges; Stocks, Dollar Decline
Crude-oil futures surged more than $25 a barrel as the dollar slid and Treasurys declined amid a flight out of U.S. assets. The Dow industrials fell 200 points.
1) Stop shorting on all stocks.
2) Create an uptick rule for buying, too.
3) Free tour of SEC HQ for anyone who shorts oil like crazy.
4) Uptick rule for residential housing sales.
5) Renters forced to buy homes for the good of the country and economy.
6) Citizens to be thrown in jail for questioning whether or not bailout is the right thing to do.
7) No one allowed to use words "pig" and "lipstick" within same paragraph.
8) Bill Ackman to be locked in a cage hanging from front of SEC HQ.
9) Free bowl of soup to first 1,000,000 people to open a new "penny-saver extreme" passbook account at 0.32% APY with Goldman Sachs
10) Implantable chip that repeats the message "We'll be buying mortgages for 50 cents on the dollar... Think of the profits!" to be embedded in every 3rd U.S. citizen.