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Customer Service 101



July 15, 2008 – Comments (4)

This is not a joke... Dude put this on the front page of his business's web page. Reportedly the same dude who wasn't paying his sales taxes in DC... Crazy. Full thread of nuttiness here.

from Nick

Open Letter to Jeff Simmermon Dear Jeff Simmermon,

So as you've seen, there's a little blog-thing going around today on
BoingBoing and Metafilter about some sort of incident at the shop this past weekend.

(Original blog post
here. Also blogged here and here.)

I suppose some sort of two-cents is warranted here.

Okay, we don't do espresso over ice. Why? Number one, because we don't do it. Number two, because we don't do it. Mostly for quality reasons. Also, because more than half the time, it's abused (Google "
ghetto latte").

We have some policies at murky coffee. No sleeping in the shop. If you're asleep, you'll be tapped on the shoulder and asked not to sleep in the shop. We've had to ban a customer because of his chronic napping.

No modifications to the Classic Cappuccino. No questions will be answered about the $5 Hot Chocolate (during the months we offer it). No espresso in a to-go cup. No espresso over ice. These are our policies. We have our reasons, and we're happy to share them.

To others reading this I will say that if you don't like the policies, I respectfully recommend that you find some other place that will give you what you want, or select something that we can offer you. David, the barista in question, is respectful, passionate, and cares about making good coffee, and he cares about murky's policies. Nobody's perfect, and maybe David could have chosen different words or a slightly different tact in responding to Jeff Simmermon's request. But that's life. At murky, we try to treat people with common courtesy, and expect the same from our customers. Not in response or in turn, but because that's how people are supposed to treat each other. We're not supposed to go through life looking for reasons to get pissed off. Life's too short for that sort of thing.

To Mr. Simmermon, you overplayed your hand with your
vulgar tip-schtick. While I certainly won't bemoan you your right to free-speech, I have to respond to you in your own dialect: F*@k you, Jeff Simmermon. Considering your public threat of arson, you'll understand when I say that if you ever show your face at my shop, I'll punch you in your dick.

Owner, murky coffee

4 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On July 15, 2008 at 9:07 PM, TMFBent (99.19) wrote:

Scratch "reported" from the tax cheat thing. Mr. Dickpunch's Capital Hill location was siezed for non payment of nearly half a million bucks in taxes and fees...

And you gotta love knee-jerk, indy idolatry...

"Either way, it's sad that an independent coffee store is being shut down," said Joy Bridy, a Capitol Hill potter who regularly brought her handmade mugs to get filled.

Yeah, sad that an "independent" business couldn't keep up with its basic responsibilities as a corporate citizen, and tried to freeload off the services provided by the government, in fact collecting and not paying out sales tax shelled out by customers.

Real sad...

If Starbucks were threatening customers with punches to the groin "I've got your iced espresso Right... HERE!" and welching on its taxes, I'm sure the hand-painted mug crowd would point to it as evidence of avarice. But when an "independent" shop shuts itself down by refusing to pay what it owes, that's "sad."



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#2) On July 15, 2008 at 10:52 PM, feiled (< 20) wrote:

Hysterical!!  Thanks for the laugh.

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#3) On July 16, 2008 at 12:22 AM, billbanks1 (91.74) wrote:

"Murky" Coffee?


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#4) On July 16, 2008 at 10:31 AM, saunafool (< 20) wrote:

Yeah the anti-Starbucks crowd makes no sense. I was living in Piedmont near Oakland CA and they opened a SBUX near an indy coffee shop named Gaylords. All the hand-painted-mug crowd made hand painted signs saying "Save Gaylords" and "No Starbucks."

Anyway, they lost and one of my leftist friends was complaining about big corporate bullying on the part of Starbucks moving into that location. I pointed out that on that stretch of road there were already 4 coffee shops, and no one complained when corporate but no so big PEET's opened there a few years earlier.

Then I really got going and had to kick him in the groin a bit. I pointed out that I preferred Starbucks because it was cleaner, more comfortable, faster, air-conditioned, and not as crowded.

Why? Because all the hand-painted-mug crowd preferred hot, uncomfortable, sweaty, slow Gaylord's which is exactly how free markets are supposed to work.

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