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ChrisGraley (30.25)

Define your stock market strategy.

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May 29, 2009 – Comments (0)

Ok, some of you are unsure what strategy to use, so I've put together a list with definitions so you can see what fits you best.

Day Trader- A trader that winds up broke after the first day.

Chartist- I guy that runs to his computer every time he sees a head and shoulders commercial.

CANSLIM- A trader that thinks his portfolio is too fat.

Buy and Hold- A trader that refuses to use the restroom until after the market closes.

Contrarian- A trader that argues with the other traders that say he "just got lucky".

Value investor- A trader that orders his stocks off the 99 cent menu.

Bull - It's what a trader tells you he made off a stock, not what he actually made.

Hedge fund manager- A guy making millions of dollars that used to make $7.50 an hour doing landscaping.

Broker- A guy that gets richer by making you broker.

Broker- Helps invest money for a retirement plan. His.

Analyst- A guy that helps you plan for what already happened.

Margin- The place on the contract where the fine print is located. A broker points to it after he takes all your money.

Options- What you had before you sold those naked calls.

Market timer - First  guy to tell you that the perfect time to buy anything is yesterday.

Dow Jones- What you get after Dow Chemical goes up 80%

 

That's all I could think of, feel free to add more.

 

 

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