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Dow Jones Haiku - Yes ALL 30 Components!



November 12, 2009 – Comments (15) | RELATED TICKERS: MMM , HD , PFE

Every once in a while I feel the need to mix in some fun with the information otherwise it just becomes almost a tedious work effort. After some careful deliberation and being forced to read a few haiku's at work (and bad ones at that), I came up with the idea to write 30 separate Haiku's, one for each of the individual components of the Dow Jones Industrial Average. This is basically all in jest so I hope it gives you a decent laugh. Feel free to add your own below. So without further adieu....

The Dow Jones Industrial Average Components Haiku.....

Alcoa (NYSE: AA)


Home Building Curtailed

Aluminum Stagnation

Pass Me The Antacid


American Express (NYSE: AXP)


Get Blue Cash Rewards

Variable Rates Stink

Where Is My Damn Check?


Boeing (NYSE: BA)


Where Art Thou New Plane?

The Dreamliner 787

Never To Be Seen


Bank of America (NYSE: BAC)


Real Estate Crashing

Ken Lewis Has Our Money

Fed Can You Help Us?


Caterpillar (NYSE: CAT)


Just One Question

You Think My Tractors Sexy?

Its Not My Dear Deere


Cisco Systems (NASD: CSCO)


Who Is Your Server?

What A Massive Cash Pile Here

We Own Your Mother


Chevron Inc. (NYSE: CVX)


You Need Gasoline

Try The Chevron With Techron

Wallet Is Now Sad


Dupont (NYSE: DD)


Bored By Chemicals?

Want To Suck On A Soybean

Pass The Cyanide


Disney (NYSE: DIS)


Magical Kingdom

Now A Travelers Wasteland

Mickey Needs Money


General Electric (NYSE: GE)


Anything You Do

They Can Do So Much Better

Does Not Make Your Eggs


Home Depot (NYSE: HD)


Buy While It Is Cheap,

Home Improvement Paradise

Crap, I Am Foreclosed


Hewlett-Packard (NYSE: HPQ)


Camera, Printer

Personal Computer Store

Should Have Got A Dell


International Business Machines (NYSE: IBM)


Hardware Gone Retro

Stand In Awe, The New I.T.

Move over Segway


Intel Corporation (NASD: INTC)


Revenue Growing

Economy Falling Flat

Damn You Cyclicals


Johnson and Johnson (NYSE: JNJ)


Hooray Baby Wipes

A Family Company

Stupid Commercials


JP Morgan Chase (NYSE: JPM)


Who Needs A Bailout?

Someone Call Matthew Lesko

Yay Informercials!


Kraft Foods (NYSE: KFT)


College Kids Enjoy

Their Macaroni and Cheese

Boy They Sure Are Poor


Coca-Cola Co. (NYSE: KO)


Beverage Giant

Belly Ache From the Syrup

Drowning in Sugar


McDonalds Inc. (NYSE: MCD)


Chicken McNuggets

Quarter Pounder, Fries, Shake, Pie

Walking Heart Attack


3M Company (NYSE: MMM)


Paper Thin Profits

Make A Note On A Post It

This Just Might Get Reamed


Merck (NYSE: MRK)


Success Story Solved

Organic Growth Not Present

Buy Another Drug


Microsoft Inc. (NASD: MSFT)


Windows Seven Here

Haven’t Destroyed Computer

Neener Neener Mac


Pfizer Inc. (NYSE: PFE)


Have A Drug For That?

Beware The Little Blue Pill

Hi Mister Coat Rack


Proctor & Gamble (NYSE: PG)


Government Peril?

Losing Entire Nest Egg?

Go Wipe Your Behind




Get A Texting Plan

That Evil Temptress I-Phone

Bank Account Now Zero


The Travelers Co. (NYSE: TRV)


You Need An Agent

Paying Money Just In Case

So Kiss It Goodbye


United Technologies (NYSE: UTX)


Huge Conglomerate

Elevator Going Up?

Magic Eight Ball Lies


Verizon Communications (NYSE: VZ)


The Best Coverage

Lawsuit From AT&T

Can You Hear Me Now?


Wal*Mart Stores (NYSE: WMT)


Ten Dollar Kids Toys

Aisles Full Of Screaming Kids

Headache Aisle One


Exxon Mobil (NYSE: XOM)


Buy A Small Country

Finance It With Oil Proceeds

Petrol From Algae?



15 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On November 12, 2009 at 8:11 AM, lemoneater (60.91) wrote:

Cramer, move over! Your Lightning Round is molasses compared to UltraHaiku!

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#2) On November 12, 2009 at 11:16 AM, outoffocus (24.05) wrote:

Good.  Now do the S&P 500.

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#3) On November 12, 2009 at 11:56 AM, foolishlymeek (56.90) wrote:


Motley Fool top CAPS

One brilliant investor

Sarcasm not lost

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#4) On November 12, 2009 at 12:02 PM, PaxtorReborn (29.51) wrote:

ah ha ha ha ha

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

ha ha ha ha ha

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#5) On November 12, 2009 at 12:47 PM, Tastylunch (29.27) wrote:

Someone Call Matthew Lesko

WOW, holy random reference batman. I love that's guy jacket. :)


Really fun stuff Ultra. :)



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#6) On November 12, 2009 at 2:41 PM, MustBNuts (34.58) wrote:

CitiGroup (NYSE: C)

Single letter ticker distressed behemoth with a dividend

Whew - recession's over...

Let's get TARPed tonight!

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#7) On November 12, 2009 at 2:53 PM, SupBooks (30.52) wrote:


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#8) On November 12, 2009 at 2:57 PM, Bamafan68 (97.75) wrote:

Brilliant! +1

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#9) On November 12, 2009 at 5:27 PM, rosemanjhk (23.94) wrote:

Excellent work!

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#10) On November 12, 2009 at 7:38 PM, swank9 (< 20) wrote:

*golf clap*

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#11) On November 13, 2009 at 2:02 PM, Synesthetic (< 20) wrote:

That is very good stuff

Perhaps things will get better

I need to practice



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#12) On November 16, 2009 at 8:48 PM, georcole (66.45) wrote:

Please win UltraLong

Please beat BravoBevo now

I'm tired of God

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#13) On November 18, 2009 at 4:30 PM, cecamadocv4 (99.96) wrote:

I'm a big fan of Bravo, he was actually about to become my online hero.  But then the past month or so, all this god stuff has gotten to me...


Go ULTRALONG...  !!!

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#14) On November 19, 2009 at 12:21 AM, rczero (< 20) wrote:

Go Ultralong!  Humor is so much better than preachyness


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#15) On November 26, 2009 at 11:40 AM, tweetybirdvicky (< 20) wrote:


refreshing comedy

As our futures tumble the abyss......

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