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Exxon Mobil has more profits than ever before!

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April 01, 2008 – Comments (6) | RELATED TICKERS: XOM

Exxon made $11.7B last quarter, and $40.6B last year, more than they're ever made before.

April Fools! Actually, because XOM's earnings were calculated using the rapidly devaluing "U.S. Dollar," their profits are actually smaller than they were in the past. So when congressmen talk about Exxon Mobil's obscene profits, think about who's stealing the value of the dollars used to pay for gasoline (in addition to taking a more forthright cut), resulting in truly obscene profits.

6 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On April 02, 2008 at 2:05 AM, FleaBagger (29.37) wrote:

Yes Fleabagger, thank you for that wonderful insight into inflation and how misleading it is to say that Exxon is making record profits! And your jokes are so funny, and you're so handsome! Let us recommend your article right away!

(I'm just lending my CAPS account to some beautiful and brilliant female economists who are unfortunately without CAPS accounts of their own, and are therefore dictating to me what they would like to post. Furthermore, I am recommending this article at their insistence.)

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#2) On April 02, 2008 at 11:03 AM, madcowmonkey (< 20) wrote:

Blondes? Can you paint a better picture please? Thanks for the insight. Here is your rec.

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#3) On April 02, 2008 at 1:08 PM, FleaBagger (29.37) wrote:

Asians with funny accents, mostly, but also a blond, a raven-haired latina, a very athletic African (not African-American), and an Irish lass with bright red hair and freckles and a charming Gaelic lilt.

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#4) On April 02, 2008 at 1:59 PM, madcowmonkey (< 20) wrote:

I agree with the Irish lass comments. Thank you ever so much for her description. I wish they were real and would do a "broad"cast of sorts. I might actually watch. 

Brilliant

11.7 billion roughly works out to 10 billion. Either way they made too much off of the peoples need. 

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#5) On April 02, 2008 at 5:38 PM, FleaBagger (29.37) wrote:

Providing what peoples need is exactly why companies make money. If people didn't need it, we wouldn't need the company. If you think gas prices are high now, A) they will go much higher; B) that is mainly due to the devaluing of the currency by congress and the fed; C) it is also largely due to outrageous taxes in which congress (and most states) take more per gallon than even the highest-margin gasoline companies.

That is, assuming your buying your gas in the U.S. In other countries, instead of congress taking more, I would say Parliament or the EU is taking tons more. So who's evil? The companies that are just trying to keep their share prices from losing value due to inflation, or the people causing that inflation and destroying trillions of dollars worth of other people's wealth with terrible policy?

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#6) On April 03, 2008 at 11:07 AM, madcowmonkey (< 20) wrote:

I don't feel like we can just blame the policy guys or just the oil guys. Both of them work hand in hand in my mind. Lobbyists write the policies not the politicians. I do believe the oil guys have a few people that work on this. Not 100% sure though:)

Off to read the new post. 

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