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Fake News: American Collapse in Slo-Mo

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November 29, 2011 – Comments (2)

Fake News:  American Collapse in Slo-Mo

  
Hello! You are reading "Channel WXYB and an S" and this is the latest News!

1) (ERTS)  Electronic Arts has decided to make a final push for Digital Sales on its Origin Digital Dnloading Service with a new Ad Campaign and Slogan.  The New Slogan? 
"Our service (ERTS) so bad, its good!"

Shares of Electronic Arts are trading lower in After Hours Market.....strange...

2)  (AAPL)  Rumors floated around today that C.E.O. Tim Cook, desperate for new iPad ideas,
consulted with a Psychic to conduct a Pseance via Oujia Board, most likely to get in touch with Steve Jobs.    Results of the Pseance are still pending...albeit...Apple refused to comment on these rumors.

3)  (AMR)  In a private interview with the incoming new C.E.O. of American Airlines, an interesting tid bit was exposed.  The airline company will soon be building and marketing their own Tablet off of a shoestring budget.

no...really....a shoestring budget.....They are building the thing with a SHOE and some STRING.

4)  (GME)  Shares of Gamestop were seen higher by $1.24 in the last 2 trading days leaving hedge fund managers like JIM CHANOS puzzled.  The answer?  Rick Aristotle Munarriz accidentally complimented Gamestop's Tablet strategy.  He has since apologized for the oversight and will monitor his writing more carefully from now on.

5)  (FED)  Shares of the "FED" or Federal Government were seen higher again today for the 1000th time in a row.  The reason?  Ben Bernanke just printed another $7 trillion and stuffed it in the FED's balance sheet.  How's that for Cash Flow?

6)    In an interview with FITCH credit ratings agency's C.E.O. it has been revealed that short of CHINA dive bombing the United States with Nuclear Missiles while Yosemite goes Volcanic and Greenbay Packers fail to make it to the Super Bowl, there is absolutely no way FITCH will lower America's credit rating.

This has been a WXYB and an S news presentation.... Until next time....Keep your portfolios spade or neutered to help control the Stock Analyst population.

2 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On November 30, 2011 at 2:11 PM, outoffocus (23.72) wrote:

Hilarious...

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#2) On November 30, 2011 at 4:04 PM, Jbay76 (< 20) wrote:

too funny.....

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