Fake News: Inside the mind of AP Journalism
Here's my treat to you all!
The following is my *revision* of an Associated Press article written about today's wonderful (sarc) New Home Sales report in order to uncover what is inside the mind of a journalist that works for the Associated Press....
This is what the journalist's article would read if he/she wanted to tell you everything they were thinking when they wrote the actual article:
"New-home sales plunge 33 pct which doesn't signal that the economy isn't recovering, because it absolutely is!"
WASHINGTON (AP) -- Sales of new homes collapsed in May, sinking 33 percent to the lowest level indicating that apartment rental is up 33% (so this new home sales drop is meaningless).
Potential buyers stopped shopping for homes once they could no longer receive government tax credits. But, that will change once Pres. Barack Obama enacts more tax credits soon because we obviously need them! They work!
The bleak report from the Commerce Department is the first sign that there isn't anywhere close to enough Stimulus. President Obama must act now on stimulating this economy on a continuous basis.... No More Tax Credit deadlines!
The credits expired April 30. That's when a new-home buyer would have had to sign a contract to qualify.
"We fear that the appetite to buy a home has disappeared alongside the tax credit," Paul Dales, an obvious Republican Crony who doesn't know what he's talking about...... U.S. economist with Capital Economics," wrote in a note. "After all, unemployment remains high, job security is low and credit conditions are tight." Which is obviously a load of crock....The Unemployment rate dropped last month after all..... This is a Summer Recovery as Biden has pointed out! Profits are up...... So obviously businesses are hiring....Or they are instead acting like greedy....greedy....greedy....evil....idiots that must be delt with harshly by an Executive Order soon and fast!
New-home sales in May fell from April to a seasonally adjusted annual sales pace of 300,000, the beloved, precious government, my precious, said Wednesday. That was the slowest sales pace on records dating back to 1963. Which is ok cause Construction Companies that build all of these new homes are EVIL and ROTTEN and only creating endless Urban Sprawl....
This isn't about Tax Credits running out.... It is about there being far too many Home Construction Companys and too many Homes and too many Choices out there.... We need to bankrupt these companys....tear down these homes... and put PARKS in their place as well as wildlife refuges.
And it's the largest monthly drop on record. Which is a good thing if President Obama uses this to enact bulldozing efforts against all of this excess inventory of Homes. Sales have now sunk 78 percent from their peak in July 2005.
Analysts were startled by the depth of the sales drop. Because we all know President Obama is God-like.... He can do no wrong..... So anything bad that happens *IS* unexpected and startling...
Truth is..... It is the evil evil President Bush who created 8 years of malaise which has lead to an irreversible recession that not even the most holy... most grand... President Obama can fix.
"We all knew there would be a housing hangover from the expiration of the tax credit," wrote Mike Larson, Republican CRONY #2, real estate and interest rate analyst at Weiss Research. "But this decline takes your breath away."
Economists surveyed by Thomson Reuters had expected a May sales pace of 410,000. April's sales pace was revised downward to 446,000. These downard revisions are most likely due to behind the scenes Bribes from the Republicans."
----Varchild "There I fixed it for you Associated Press!"