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Varchild2008 (83.79)

Fake SIRI news out today



April 11, 2013 – Comments (2) | RELATED TICKERS: SIRI

Sirius XM has just announced their new CEO and ticker symbol.

Sirius XM will now trade under ticker symbol (BABY) and Chief Executive Officer Justin Bieber will be at the helm.

Assisting Justin Bieber as Vice CEO will be disgraced former JC Penny CEO Ron Johnson.

Ron Johnson issued a statement stating, "It will be a pleasure learning from Justin Bieber how to attract a customer base since Justin has grown 37.5 million Twitter followers by using an electronic algorithym."

Justin's first order of business since the Board of Directors appointed him was to change Sirius XM's ticker symbol. But, he promises shares will still trade on E-BAY. 

Also, he has issued a second directive to initiate a new channel on Sirius XM.

The "Justin Bieber Fan Channel", channel 222, will broadcast nothing but Justin Bieber tunes, interviews, and 13 year old girl screaming contests.

Justin also will let Ron Johnson continue to write and mail out letters that don't say anything specific, but instead ramble on and on and on to Sirius XM customers about "The upcoming changes" to Sirius XM.

Finally, a channel devoted to Trash Talking against the Paparazzi will debut this Summer... Justin himself will host the morning hours 5:00 AM to 9:00 AM. 

"I'm excited about the opportunity to show everyone what I REALLY think about the annoying, *&^% photographers and crappy journalists getting in my face all the time!!!!!! *&^%" Justin said to us over the phone louder than we expected.

And that's the FAKE NEWS....Thank you for listening in on a WXYB and an S news report!

2 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On April 11, 2013 at 6:57 PM, L0RDZ (91.24) wrote:

LMAO...  who says  caps  doesn't  have  good articles...

much better than  any  sharebuilder  or  50 day  bunk...

Thanks Var...


I  think  you left out  the    smoking break  show  Justin and  Ron  will co-host  twice  a   day  at  4:20.

With  guest appearances  from  the  old  BAC  CEO  among many others  who  partake  in  such  things.

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#2) On April 11, 2013 at 7:50 PM, Varchild2008 (83.79) wrote:

Thanks LORDZ.

There's plenty of good stuff out there to poke fun at this week.

I had to do it after seeing a news article appear today on Yahoo Finance about someone claiming half of Justin Bieber's Twitter Followers are fake.

Also, the Ron Johnson letter is for real.  I may still have his JC PENNY letter which doesn't give you specific reason why I should go to JC PENNY.

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