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L0RDZ (78.22)

Gov-ment now is training to counter zombie threat

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October 31, 2012 – Comments (2)

http://news.yahoo.com/no-prank-halloween-us-military-forces-train-zombie-162141684.html

 WOW  apparently  someone  thought  it  would be  a  good  idea  if  say  1,000 gov ment employees  partyed  on  a  island  under  the  pretense  that  they would  be  par-taking  into  training  against  get  this !!!!!!!  

zombies ???   and  that  preparing  against  zombies  would  somehow  be  a  teachable moment  for  the american public  and  the federal employees  taking part ?

So  zombies will invade  get  this  some  summit  on  an  island resort  called  paradise point ?

How  bout  instead  we  fly  them  to   the coldest parts  of  the antartic  and watch them counter-terrorize  their  ways  out of not becoming  freezer  pops  as  they land  frozen stiff...   hey that way  we  can add or  create  another  1,000 jobs  that would  suddenly  be  vacated  as  it would be about  as  likely that any training  to  ward  off  zombies  would come to any beneficial  use  other than allowing  these guys  to spend  days  on  most likely  a  paradise island  under  the pretense  they are training.

“No one knows what the zombies will do in our scenario, but quite frankly, no one knows what a terrorist will do,” Barker told the AP. “If a law-enforcement officer sees a zombie and says, ‘Freeze, get your hands in the air!’ what’s a zombie going to do? He’s going to moan at you. If someone on PCP or some other psychotic drug is told that, the truth is he’s not going to react to you.”

When it launched its awareness campaign last year on a zombie apocalypse, the CDC used it as a chance to encourage Americans to be prepared for any unexpected emergency.

“We have a very small office and an equally small budget,” Maggie Silver, a CDC official, told ABC News. “So we had to do something that wasn’t going to take a lot of manpower or dollars.”

The CDC recommended doing things such as stocking up on water (one gallon per person per day), food (nonperishable items you eat regularly), tools like duct tape, a battery-powered radio, and blankets.

Last month, the Department of Homeland Security released its own tongue-in-cheek webinar about zombie preparation as an “effective way of engaging new audiences,” as one FEMA official noted.

The CDC zombie campaign grew out of an effort “to spice up our general preparedness message,” added Ms. Silver. “We decided, why not give people what they want?”

Apparently  this is  proof  that  we  are funding our  government  way too much  in  that we can afford  to have  1,000  soldiers, cops, firefighters,  and  other state and federal  employees to react  to  such  zombies.

Really,  maybe  next year  we  can  prepare to combat  leprechauns  or  maybe  against  vampires.

Lets  simply  increase  the tax rates  on  the super rich  so that we  can  prepare  to  combat  the up-coming  zombie  infestation.

Or  maybe  we  can  test  all these subjects  by  flying  c-130's  and  dropping  insane  amounts of  cocaine  and  other  psychodelic  drugs  to  see  who  partakes  or  becomes affected.

Perhaps  maybe  just maybe  if  we were to cut back  on  needless gov  agencies and  gov-ment middle  managers who do next  to nothing,  we  could  maybe  let  the  private  sector  keep more of their  money so that we can with our own  money  buy  the  recommended  extra  containers  of  water,  non-perishable food,  and  blankets  or  maybe  a  few weapons  to protect ourselves  against  a  stupidly  over taxing over spending  gov-ment  bent  on  making  the zombie  apocolypse  possible.

 

2 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On October 31, 2012 at 10:33 PM, rd80 (97.11) wrote:

Zombie Max ammo - just in case.

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#2) On October 31, 2012 at 11:19 PM, awallejr (75.45) wrote:

Hmm, mentioning zombies, typing !!! and ??? Hi Bizarro Alstry;)

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