Greatings of the day!!
Dear Mr Watanabe/Herr Schadenfrude/Xian Sheng Wu
After talking with my colleagues at the Peoples' Federal Reserve I have the privilege to request your assistance in an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.
My father is the Minister of the Treasury of the People's Republic of America. My country has had crisis that is caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US, in turn we will transfer to your accounts a choice of either bonds we can perpetually issue or convoluted hastily created synthetic pools of bonds that give appearance of ownership of the majority of the American homes. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable for you.
I am working with Mr. Phil Gramm, Lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transaction is 100% safe and your money is guaranteed.
We cannot directly transfer these funds to you in the market as our banks cannot not support the transfer of these funds because of balance sheet constraints and our constitution which forbids us from just printing more money. Our attorney's have advised us that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred and we won't be conquered through finance, though the buyer will own rights to most of our homes and land. We need the funds as quickly as possible, this is a matter of great urgency for our people.
If you find this acceptable we shall require the following documentation: name and contact numbers of bank account, IRA, and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to firstname.lastname@example.org so that we may complete the transer. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury,
I wish I could take credit. This was forwarded to me.