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Greatings of the day!!

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September 23, 2008 – Comments (5)

Dear Mr Watanabe/Herr Schadenfrude/Xian Sheng Wu

After talking with my colleagues at the Peoples' Federal Reserve I have the privilege to request your assistance in an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

My father is the Minister of the Treasury of the People's Republic of America. My country has had crisis that is caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US, in turn we will transfer to your accounts a choice of either bonds we can perpetually issue or convoluted hastily created synthetic pools of bonds that give appearance of ownership of the majority of the American homes. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable for you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gramm, Lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transaction is 100% safe and your money is guaranteed.

We cannot directly transfer these funds to you in the market as our banks cannot not support the transfer of these funds because of balance sheet constraints and our constitution which forbids us from just printing more money. Our attorney's have advised us that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred and we won't be conquered through finance, though the buyer will own rights to most of our homes and land. We need the funds as quickly as possible, this is a matter of great urgency for our people.

If you find this acceptable we shall require the following documentation: name and contact numbers of bank account, IRA, and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may complete the transer. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury,

Hank Paulson

 

I wish I could take credit. This was forwarded to me.

5 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On September 23, 2008 at 3:14 PM, jmt587 (99.88) wrote:

Good stuff.  Props to the author, whomever they are.

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#2) On September 23, 2008 at 3:22 PM, Tastylunch (29.25) wrote:

Yeah I saw this on Big Picture, great stuff.

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#3) On September 23, 2008 at 5:56 PM, EScroogeJr (< 20) wrote:

Hysterical. The best piece to come to my spam box from our Nigeria. Just don't forget to provide your mother's maiden name and Social Security number.

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#4) On September 23, 2008 at 8:30 PM, jack21222 (98.38) wrote:

Hilarious! I've seen several versions floating around the internet.

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#5) On September 24, 2008 at 12:29 AM, TheGarcipian (61.39) wrote:

Very funny. I'm a little slow on the uptake, so this is my first viewing of the message, and I've already forwarded it onto a dozen other people. Thanks for posting this levity!

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