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Inglorious Investments



October 29, 2009 – Comments (8)

I love a volatile market.  One of its most amusing aspects is the terrific number of predictions that go preposterously wrong, then right, then wrong, then right again.  Outsiders must look upon the lot of us with absolute disbelief.  Imagine trying to explain the last few weeks of market swings to an alien visitor.  I suspect he'd pack up his extraterrestial belongings, and get the heck out of town faster than you can say "David in Qatar is an idiot."

This week I made 11% profit trading options in my portfolio.  Now, I'm not a trader. I have NEVER been a trader.  In fact, I've pretty much been an outspoken opponent of trading since my days as a toddler beating up kindergartners for scoping out my turf near the monkey bars.  Yet, I believe I have found an inefficiency in the options market that I can exploit regardless of direction.  All I need is volatility, and this week supplied plenty.  Now, I can't say for sure that I have really stumbled upon something grand or that I am a completely clueless fool talking out my backside.  I leave that to the long term results.  But this was a kind week, so I'll just enjoy it.  And just to kick me in the stomach when I think I'm smart, I received a notification from my brokerage that I am now classified as (gasp!) A DAY TRADER and must meet SEC requirements. The requirements were already met, but the mere fact that I would be grouped with such a horrid group of speculators, dreamers, gamblers, losers, and stock jobbers makes me shudder.  I may need to rethink my place in this universe.  This is profound.  To save you from what may be really horrible advice, I can not go into details about my strategy, but I will say that it attempts to profit off of other people's desire to gamble.  Should it be at all successful in the long run, I'll go into more detail.

On a lighter note, I just returned from the movie theater.  I saw Inglorious Basterds, the relatively new Quentin Tarantino movie.  It's a farce about a group of Nazi-slaying Jews terrorizing the SS during WWII. It thought it sucked horribly.  My buddy liked it.  Oh well.  That being said, I did get one real good laugh out of it.  Ya know I live in Qatar.  It's an Arab country.  The theater is pretty much me, my buddy, and 35 Arab men in thobe and ghutra.  And while I'm sitting there bored out of my mind as two Jews on screen laugh maniacally while firing endless machine gun rounds into a crowded theater of Jew haters, I had the most twisted thought in my life.  At the end of the movie, I should stand up, turn around and yell, "And let that be a lesson to you all!"  I know. I know.  I'm really messed up in the head.  But that's the funny thing about living in another country.  You just miss out on those really stupid ideas, like, for example, deciding to go see a movie about Jew revenge in a packed Arab theater when you are bone white and you look kinda Jewish (or so I've been told.)

Finally, let me add that Arab parents are as stupid as American parents when it comes to picking movies "for the whole family."  There were at least 5 families with young kids that got up and walked out (pretty much the baseball bat into the skull scene sealed the deal.)  I recall going to see 300 with my father in America a few years back.  We were laughing at all the parents that brought their kids.  My dad asked me what in the heck those people must have been thinking?  I said something to the effect of "I guess the movie poster with severed heads and blood splattered across it meant 'family entertainment' in their house."

I'm just going to stop now.

David in Qatar

8 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On October 29, 2009 at 3:20 PM, kdakota630 (29.73) wrote:

LOL!  I have thoughts like yours ALL the time, but like you, almost never act on them.

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#2) On October 29, 2009 at 3:30 PM, Daretoth (< 20) wrote:

see...I'm the kinda person who would act on those buddies have had to restrain me before, fearful that I would get the crap beat out of me...


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#3) On October 29, 2009 at 3:33 PM, whereaminow (26.32) wrote:


That's why we're not behind bars right now :0)

Years ago, when I was a young Marine, I had to take one of those 3 hour psychiatric exams.  I was going through it and thinking things like "oh, this is where I have to lie so I sound normal."  See, I know I'm crazy.  That's why I'm normal.  The really crazy people don't even know they're crazy.  When the questions says, "When you are at a party do you mingle or walk to the corner of the room and stare at it as you imagine killing everyone present?"  Of course, I walk to the corner of the room.  But I know I'm supposed to say that I mingle.  That's why they gave me a gun :)

David in Qatar

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#4) On October 29, 2009 at 3:35 PM, whereaminow (26.32) wrote:


Your buddies are subsidizing your bad behavior.  That's why you keep doing it.  It all comes back to economics :)

David in Qatar

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#5) On October 29, 2009 at 3:37 PM, kdakota630 (29.73) wrote:

LOL!  I know what you mean.

The example that jumps out at me was when I was grocery shopping with my wife and she was taking a little too long to pick a cucumber, and I SO wanted to say to her just a little bit too loudly, "just pick one already.  You're only going to use it to masturbate with anyway!"

Luckily, I didn't do that, and am alive to tell the tale.

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#6) On October 29, 2009 at 3:41 PM, whereaminow (26.32) wrote:


LMFAO. Wow. That poor woman.  I think my fiance could empathize with her.

David in Qatar

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#7) On October 29, 2009 at 4:56 PM, leohaas (32.35) wrote:

David, you are never an idiot.

Tarantino is a sociopath. I found out the hard way watching Natural Born Killers in the theater back in 1994 (yes, I was naive. Still am, I guess...).

Just one question: "I recall going to see 300 with my father in America a few years back.  We were laughing at all the parents that brought their kids.  My dad asked me what in the heck those people must have been thinking?"

Wasn't your father there with his kid?

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#8) On October 29, 2009 at 5:03 PM, whereaminow (26.32) wrote:


LOL, yes, but his kid in his thirties.  Well, at least in age if not maturity.

David in Qatar

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