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Invest in the biggest pile of crap... ever.

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April 09, 2008 – Comments (3)

Do you ever feel like you are investing in crap? Like your portfolio was just a big pile of doo-doo? You bought it because it was the "next big thing" and it probably isn't. Its just crap. Fertilizer is flying you hear. 98 million cows in the USA, TMFDeej tells us, and a whole lot of bullsh^t. 

Well rather than invest another dollar in crap by mistake, I decided to go looking for poop. Where should you look for the biggest dump pile? Natural gas, food, fertilizer, and renewable energy are the hot sectors, so I looked there. And sure enough I found a pile. It seems those 98 million cows poop. Then the poop decomposes. As it decomposes it gets hot. And water can be piped through the hot pile of poop and used to heat your house. As it decomposes it gives off methane gas. The methane gas can be captured and piped into your local utility plumbing and sold for money. And when it is done decomposing it becomes fertilizer. Potash look out. So suddenly cow poop which was an environmental disposal problem, becomes home heating, energy and fertilizer. And all you need is a tank that can hold enough crap to make it work. And someone willing to do what may be the dirtiest job ever. So I bought stock in this company. I bought stock knowing that it has not made a dollar in the last three quarters. Knowing it had sold its interest in its only money making venture, counting on turning crap into gold. Because I hope it works. And whether or not it does I get to say I invested in the biggest pile of crap...ever.

Isn't that a nice website?

3 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On April 09, 2008 at 5:38 PM, leohaas (32.74) wrote:

Funny, very funny. Keep us posted on how this is going.

PS. How come there are 98 million cows producing bullsh*t? 

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#2) On April 09, 2008 at 5:39 PM, leohaas (32.74) wrote:

Funny, very funny. Keep us posted on how this is going.

PS. How come there are 98 million cows producing bullsh*t? 

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#3) On April 12, 2008 at 5:15 AM, TheGarcipian (62.59) wrote:

Maybe they're tired of hearing all the boy cows mooooaning about their udder inability to produce anything other than bullsh*t?  Tired of playing that stupid old "Pull My Horn" game, the girls are raising the "steaks" by going it alone and making their own bullsh*t? (Hey, according to Gary Larson, cows can do all sorts of things).

Regarding the website, I particularly liked the marketing text "our facilities can generate significant quantities of tradeable carbon offset credits."  Sounds like something out of a 1960's Sci-Fi film...  Does Hans Solo know about this place?

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