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TMFBane (25.17)

Is Henry Blodget's Business Insider The New Crack?

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July 16, 2010 – Comments (4)

Hello, my name is Henry Blodget and I’m addicted to sensational news stories. It all started when I launched my new publication entitled Business Insider. I had once been a equity analyst, but am now barred from the securities industry. I figured the media would be the best place to go for a former crooked analyst.

Anyway, at first, my dream was for the Business Insider to be a place where people could view slideshows on earnest topics like ‘Inflation versus Deflation,’ or “The Impact of Lower Interest Rates on the Lending Industry.”

I soon learned, however, that stories on Lindsay Lohan and Mel Gibson were much more popular, so I’ve been doing more and more of that. In fact, I’m finding that business readers can’t get enough of this stuff. And neither can I.

Here are some of the top stories from yesterday’s email wrap-up. We led with a story about a “German pensioner who is totally broke after falling in love with a professional whore.” Yes, we did use that word. Or should I say both words: ‘totally’ and that other one. Sorry.

The next story was about whether or not Chelsea Clinton would convert to Judaism for her ‘Goldman Banker Husband.’ The third story was about how the middle class is being wiped out of existence. That one proved super popular. So expect more on that soon.

Anyway, I really want your help. I want to do earnest stories, but you guys keep wanting to read about Mel (you know, he’s really not so bad once you get your head around the racism and abusiveness). So please, I beg you: start clicking on stories about bank reform. I don’t want to do all this sensational stuff, and I need your help to stop.

 

Sincerely,

Henry

4 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On July 16, 2010 at 12:56 PM, TMFJake (71.18) wrote:

Okay, I'll admit to being on the BI pipe.  But sometimes I just need to know what's what about all the things that I need to know:

Click here for full BI parody image.

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#2) On July 16, 2010 at 12:58 PM, TMFBane (25.17) wrote:

That's hilarious!

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#3) On July 16, 2010 at 2:28 PM, Tastylunch (28.65) wrote:

yeah i knew things were going Huffpo when they canned Carney.

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#4) On July 16, 2010 at 3:17 PM, TMFBane (25.17) wrote:

Unlike Business Insider, the NYT is all about serious, meaningful journalism. So I just scanned its editorials, and guess what the ever sober and respectable David Brooks was writing about? Mel Gibson. He added a lot of psychological mumbo jumbo in there to make it seem profound. But let's face it: he was gunning for readers!

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