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Jobs' iPad Fails to Absorb Dark Investor Sentiment -- Market Headline Contest

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January 28, 2010 – Comments (18)

You know those lame market headlines that brainless editors at AP write to try and explain why aggregate indexes move one way or another? I think we should have a daily contest to see who can come up with the best. If we get enough entries, I'll even donate a real live prize, something awesome from my desk at Fool HQ.

My entry for Today is:

Jobs' iPad Fails to Absorb Dark Investor Sentiment

Sj

18 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On January 28, 2010 at 2:52 PM, brickcityman (< 20) wrote:

- You May Now Pass Go and Spend 500 Dollars

- Just Make Your Unemployment Check Payable to Steve c/o Apple

- The "fruit" of Steve's Loins

- Apple finds way to make people fruitier, world rejoices

- Apple finally yields to relentless consumer demand

More to come I'm sure...

 

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#2) On January 28, 2010 at 3:01 PM, brickcityman (< 20) wrote:

- The iPad, An iPod Your Grandma Can Use

- Apple Invents iPod That is Harder to Lose

- Apple successful in quest to limit Chinese unemployment

 

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#3) On January 28, 2010 at 3:05 PM, outoffocus (23.25) wrote:

iPad - the new Apple feminine hygiene product.  Soon to be replaced by the iPon

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#4) On January 28, 2010 at 3:23 PM, brickcityman (< 20) wrote:

- Apple secures funding source for Job's next organ transplant

 

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#5) On January 28, 2010 at 3:27 PM, TMFEditorsDesk (< 20) wrote:

@brickcityman,

The iPad, An iPod Your Grandma Can Use

Nice.

-Anand (TMFBomb)

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#6) On January 28, 2010 at 3:31 PM, hall9999 (99.30) wrote:

- Like so many before, Apple's 'iPhone killer' fails to impress.

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#7) On January 28, 2010 at 3:32 PM, Turfscape (40.91) wrote:

iPad's fails to deliver alternate utopian universe, drives indexes lower - investor's forced to face reality

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#8) On January 28, 2010 at 3:43 PM, chk999 (99.97) wrote:

iPad Kindles blaze of interest, torches the Amazon

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#9) On January 28, 2010 at 3:56 PM, TMFKnightly (< 20) wrote:

With a name like iPad, can Apple's new device possibly have wings?

from Washington Post

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#10) On January 28, 2010 at 4:16 PM, TMFRoyal (98.33) wrote:

Indexes off big, as new study shows iPad speculation kills worker productivity

 

Jim

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#11) On January 28, 2010 at 4:17 PM, TMFRoyal (98.33) wrote:

@ Turfscape

 iPad's fails to deliver alternate utopian universe, drives indexes lower - investor's forced to face reality

 

Love it. 

 

Jim

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#12) On January 28, 2010 at 5:25 PM, TMFMuse (96.75) wrote:

The tech world on edge, waiting for iPad 2.0

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#13) On January 28, 2010 at 6:14 PM, rd80 (98.00) wrote:

Will the iPad make AAPL shareholders  iGlad or iSad?

 

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#14) On January 28, 2010 at 7:55 PM, TMFLomax (45.00) wrote:

I'm actually restraining myself on this one. I've got so many good ones but I'm so afraid of going too far. ;)

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#15) On January 28, 2010 at 8:38 PM, ChrisGraley (29.88) wrote:

The ipad is not "What Paris Hilton's bra might say" for 1000 Alex.

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#16) On January 28, 2010 at 8:39 PM, xserver (< 20) wrote:

Jobs' iPad fails to generate jobs.

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#17) On January 29, 2010 at 3:47 PM, hiddenflem (77.97) wrote:

Who wants to touch the IPAD?

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#18) On January 30, 2010 at 3:11 AM, KamranatUCLA (29.57) wrote:

I don't know why everyone is talking about apple only. I guess, actually I know that the caps community is like sheep in a herd and follow whatever. So here is a headline I always hear in AP that makes my blood boil:

"Oil prices move higher as a postive sign of economical recovery."

This is what I hate about this headline that I have seen time and time again:

1) If oil price goes up; what the hell is positive about it? our whole economy almost collapsed because of higher oil prices. I guess people have short memory: When gas was about 5/gallon many gas stions put limits of $75. My light truck would fill up with 100 bucks! 100 bucks. ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for a tank of gas. In my opinion (and most people keep this quiet), gas prices had a lot to do with housing collaps. Many idiots live far from where they work and higher gas prices forced them not to pay their mortages. In Los Angeles TV sattions showed these office worker that were saying they would ride 20 miles to/from work on their bikes because they can't afford the gas hahahahaha

2) I believe 1 reason we are still in weak economy is because higher gas prices are looming above our heads. If we recover and that's a big IF oil will go up and we will be in recession again! The only reason we are not eating eachother now is because Saudis are in the pocket of the U.S. and are giving us a break. What is the oil/gas runs out is a question that we need to deal with right now. So when a stupid headline says stupid comments about oil like that, it makes me furious...SOBs...who are those writer??

Im too upset to go to point 3 and 4....so yeah.

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