My Grandfather Might Be A Bicycle
October 08, 2010
– Comments (25)
It seems like a long time ago and a galaxy far, far away, but I used to be a Stormtrooper. Only I didn't have any problems with my accuracy.
Sitting in a room with a dozen other closely shaven males, I listened intently as the crusty (and boy do I mean crusty) grey-haired man in front explained his idea for storming the building. It was a large building with a lot of rooms and a lot of potential dangers. It made me nervous.
I kept asking the Grey Haired One, "What if?"
For a while he tolerated my questions, but then he realized I had no point. I wasn't offering any new ideas. I wasn't making an effort to explain anything. In other words, I wasn't adding to the group's understanding. I just kept asking "What if?"
Fed up, he roared back at me: "Well what if my grandmother had a prick?!"
The room went silent. I swallowed my breath.
"Then she'd be my grandpa, wouldn't she?"
Incontrovertible logic.
He continued, "And what if my grandpa had wheels? Well? What then?"
I wasn't going to answer. There are no right answers when the Grey Haired One gets mad.
"Then he'd be a f*cking bicycle, you dipsh*t!"
In the time since that interesting debate, I have done a lot of thinking. It's simple lessons like that which changed my life. It's fine to question each other. It's fine to ask someone to trot out some evidence to support their position. It's perfectly reasonable and intelligent to be skeptical of anyone promoting new ideas.
But if you are not being reasonable in return, if you are not adding to the group's understanding, if you have no interest in understanding it yourself, it's not skepticism. It's badgering.
Pointless, arrogant badgering. Children badger. Adults reason.
I have never used my blog articles to call out another CAPS blogger until now. I don't have to write posts titled "So-and-so Slipped the BS Right Past Me!" I don't have to accuse everyone with whom I disagree of propaganda, of relying on "faith" - whatever that means, of not thinking "outside the box" or any other meaningless chic catch phrase I can trot out to sound coy and more significant than I really am. I don't repeat the same accusation of propaganda at the same person so often that my accusation of propaganda begins to the fit the actual definition of propaganda. I have learned to let arguments go. I have learned to let opposing bloggers go, even when I think very lowly of them. I'm all growns up ;)
In other words, I don't need to harass and badger others. The ideas I promote will win or lose on their own merit, not because I spend half of my time making baseless accusations and badgering my opponents with nonsense.
Either try to understand them or present an alternative that has explanatory power. Explain yourself to the community. Explain why I'm wrong. Either they will buy it or they won't. Your problem isn't with me. It's with CAPS readers. If that rec counter sits at 1, if that comment section sits at 0, then I go away. Plain and simple. And then you'd have no reason to badger.
So quit harassing me. Quit making baseless accusations. Quit insulting the intelligence of my readers. I'm pretty sure they are all adults and can decide for themselves whether or not I operate on propaganda or faith. I start from the framework that I am dealing with other intelligent beings, not mindless automatons.
So here's my answer to you and all future badgers:
What if my grandfather had wheels?
David in Qatar