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New Stock Market Terms...

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October 09, 2008 – Comments (8)

NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS

      

 CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

 

CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.

 

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

 

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

 

 VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

 

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

 

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

 

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

 

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

 

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

 

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

 

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

 

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

 

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

 

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

 

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

8 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On October 09, 2008 at 6:09 PM, ocsurf (< 20) wrote:

LMAO!!

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#2) On October 09, 2008 at 7:00 PM, degaston (99.57) wrote:

Hey you plagiarized those off of me. But I'll forgive you if you add me as a FAVORITE.

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#3) On October 09, 2008 at 7:03 PM, nuf2bdangrus (< 20) wrote:

ROFL

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#4) On October 09, 2008 at 7:06 PM, dwot (49.06) wrote:

degaston, no I didn't, my hubby sent them to me in an email.

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#5) On October 09, 2008 at 7:25 PM, hondo928 (99.63) wrote:

Yea these have been out since like 2001, thus the yahoo at 240...yahoo hasn't seen a 50 handle in years muchless 240

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#6) On October 09, 2008 at 7:30 PM, GS751 (27.40) wrote:

LMAO

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#7) On October 09, 2008 at 7:34 PM, TheGarcipian (45.16) wrote:

Ha! Good to see these come around again... helps with the pain. Thanks for posting.

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#8) On October 13, 2008 at 1:34 PM, degaston (99.57) wrote:

ok dwot ... I figured you got it off of KD's TickerForum.org where I had posted this list verbatim about a day before you posted it here. I guess things travel around cyberspace faster than I thought.

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