Use access key #2 to skip to page content.

New Stock Market Terms...



October 09, 2008 – Comments (8)



 CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.


CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.


BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.


BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.


 VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.


P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.


BROKER -- What my broker has made me.


STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.


STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.


STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.


MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.


CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.


YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.


WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.


INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.


PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

8 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On October 09, 2008 at 6:09 PM, ocsurf (< 20) wrote:


Report this comment
#2) On October 09, 2008 at 7:00 PM, degaston (< 20) wrote:

Hey you plagiarized those off of me. But I'll forgive you if you add me as a FAVORITE.

Report this comment
#3) On October 09, 2008 at 7:03 PM, nuf2bdangrus (< 20) wrote:


Report this comment
#4) On October 09, 2008 at 7:06 PM, dwot (29.15) wrote:

degaston, no I didn't, my hubby sent them to me in an email.

Report this comment
#5) On October 09, 2008 at 7:25 PM, hondo928 (97.88) wrote:

Yea these have been out since like 2001, thus the yahoo at hasn't seen a 50 handle in years muchless 240

Report this comment
#6) On October 09, 2008 at 7:30 PM, GS751 (26.86) wrote:


Report this comment
#7) On October 09, 2008 at 7:34 PM, TheGarcipian (34.55) wrote:

Ha! Good to see these come around again... helps with the pain. Thanks for posting.

Report this comment
#8) On October 13, 2008 at 1:34 PM, degaston (< 20) wrote:

ok dwot ... I figured you got it off of KD's where I had posted this list verbatim about a day before you posted it here. I guess things travel around cyberspace faster than I thought.

Report this comment

Featured Broker Partners