November 05, 2008
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Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are
Black Man Given Nation's Worst Job
WASHINGTON—African-American man Barack Obama, 47, was given the least-desirable job in the entire country Tuesday when he was elected president of the United States of America. In his new high-stress, low-reward position, Obama will be charged with such tasks as completely overhauling the nation's broken-down economy, repairing the crumbling infrastructure, and generally having to please more than 300 million Americans and cater to their every whim on a daily basis. As part of his duties, the black man will have to spend four to eight years cleaning up the messes other people left behind. The job comes with such intense scrutiny and so certain a guarantee of failure that only one other person even bothered applying for it. Said scholar and activist Mark L. Denton, "It just goes to show you that, in this country, a black man still can't catch a break."
Believe me, it is not the worst job. You get paid some $400K a year, and in exchange you read the papers witten by your speechwriters before the mic, make several presentations over a year, sign papers handed over to you by the people who pull the strings, and spend a few hours every week with your imagemaker to rehearese your sound bytes, decide on the color of your necktie, etc. I could do the same job for $50K a year, so as far as I'm concerned, Obama is grossly overpaid (oh, those incompetent job-seekers getting the appointment due to affirmative action programs! :)
Don't forget, he gets to work with a power hungry congress, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid will keep him busy (that's a living nightmare).
Love the Onion's creations!. Funny stuff, even for this Obama supporter. Thanks for posting that and making me laugh. One REC for you.