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Varchild2008 (83.18)

Pres. Obama's Stimulus Package Creates 115 Million Jobs!

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October 30, 2009 – Comments (6) | RELATED TICKERS: BAC , C

Incredibly! President Obama's Stimulus Package has been proven to have created (not just merely saved) exactly 115,034,918 jobs!  That compares with a loss of 2.7 million jobs this year for a net gain in 2009 of 112,334,918.

In Q3 alone President Obama's Cash for Clunkers program resulted in a net gain of 19,876 Dealerships hiring on average 100 employees per dealership.... What's more (CAT) Caterpillar's C.E.O. said they are awash in cash from the positive effects of Pres. Obama's stimulus package on the Home Construction Industry that they are forced to hire before the end of this year 1,999,015 employees or face getting crushed by their competitor Manitowac.

MSC Industrials Direct and Grainger and Whirlpool and LG and Electrolux have all put out press releases today showing they hired 55,000 employees plus or mins 5,000 in the last quarter alone and the C.E.Os. all thank President Obama's Stimulus Package for jump starting their industries and sales opportunities.

This is truly remarkable folks!  But let's hear this exciting news from the horse's mouth... The President of the United States of America, Barack Obama!

Dum Dum Da Dum Dum Da Dum Da Dum Da Dum Dum
Dum Dum Da Dum Da Dum Da Dummmmmm!   (Here Comes the Chief Song Ends)

Pres. Obama:  "My Fellow Americans... I bring you great news... Come November when they report the Jobless Number... It won't be a Jobless Number... It will be a NEGATIVE jobless number... The Unemployment rate in October is going to be around a Negative 250%.  This is splendid news...and clear evidence that my Stimulas Package is on its way to provide the promised 1 Billion Job Creation Number before Thanksgiving Day. 

So, while you are eating your Thanksgiving Day Turkey.... You'll also be enjoying the fact that there are 1 billion new jobs out there for you to apply for!  So start fine tuning those Resumes folks....heh heh heh....heh...heh heh....heh....

Oh and what does the number "Negative 250% unemployed" actually mean?  Well it's simple... My Stimulus Package has created so many jobs so quickly, we have had to empty out the country of CUBA of its citizenry along with MEXICO and most of Latin America straight into America illegally and basically point them towards jobs they can apply for and get.... So we actually have about 95 Million brand new Illegal Immigrants who have landed a job here in America!

Now.... Why are my Poll Numbers still low? I mean what the heck??? Gallup what gives?  Bump up them approval numbers there up 25% will ya?  Cause if you don't we can always nationalize you later.   Well... That's all I got and I ain't taking any questions... Good Night America and Happy Halloween!"

Dum Dum Da Dum Dum Da Dum Da Dum Da Dum Dum
Dum Dum Da Dum Da Dum Da Dummmmmm!   (Here Comes the Chief Song Ends)

6 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On October 30, 2009 at 7:38 PM, devoish (99.10) wrote:

 http://caps.fool.com/Blogs/ViewPost.aspx?bpid=285072&t=01004426621447245066 

Get your numbers together.

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#2) On October 30, 2009 at 8:15 PM, eddietheinvestor (< 20) wrote:

When George Bush left the White House, over 146 million Americans had jobs.  That's right.  Over 146 million jobs "created or saved"!  Bush deserves credit for that!

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#3) On October 30, 2009 at 8:34 PM, dickseacup (67.78) wrote:

rec for the laugh

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#4) On October 30, 2009 at 8:44 PM, starbucks4ever (98.82) wrote:

Well, I don't know about 115,034,918, but there is ONE job which he is now desperately trying to save, LOL.

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#5) On October 30, 2009 at 8:46 PM, Rebkong1 (< 20) wrote:

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#6) On November 01, 2009 at 8:50 AM, Varchild2008 (83.18) wrote:

Kinda Funny that ever since I posted this GALLUP has been bumping up Obama's approval number from 51% to now 55%.

Hmm....

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