Put These New Year's Resolutions In Your Pipe
And smoke em! A few friendly and not-so-friendly recommendations to make your 2011 as rewarding as possible.
Resolution #1: I will no longer be a beggar
There are many features of democracy that make me nauseous. Among the worst is that it makes begging so easy you don't even know you're doing it. So resolve to stop being a beggar. What do I mean by this? Stop asking government to provide things for you. You don't pay for them, at least not in full. For example, if you walked into the grocery store and offered to pay $25 for $50 worth fof groceries, you know what that makes you? A beggar. A charity case. So when you ask the government to provide something for you, something that you are not willing to fully compensate for your portion, you are a beggar. Sugar coat and rationalize it however you want. You're still a beggar.
"I, 'state your name,' hereby resolve to no longer ask the government to provide any service for a discount. I will pay my share. (Not my "fair" share or any other equivocating b.s.) No. My "actual" share. If that's not an option, if that's beyond my means, I will not ask for any increase in government services. Period. I will no longer be a beggar."
See how much fun this is?
Resolution #2: I will not be a useful idiot
When I was entering physical adulthood (mental adulthood came much later.. or not at all depending on who you ask,) I had accepted and swallowed many assumptions about the institutions and people that ruled over me. I didn't question any of these assumptions. I bought the prepackaged Party handbook, with all the talking points in bold letters, and learned the basics of parroting the Party line to anyone who questioned it. It gave me a sense of importance. It impressed the elderly and the quarter-educated. I was special.
Yeah, special-ed maybe. Actually, I was a useful idiot. Back then, I think I was a Republican, but it doesn't matter. I was a moron no matter what Party line I was vomiting on my term papers and family members. (Sadly, they liked me better back then. Oh well.)
Let me give you a quick example of a person that lived Resolution #2 his entire life: Lysander Spooner. Lysander didn't even accept the assumption that he should honor the Constitution as a patriotic duty. He wrote an entire book about it. It's called No Treason: The Constitution of No Aurthoriy. I read the first few chapters. It's quite amusing. It's also difficult to deny his logic, except to run the usual useful idiot play and dismiss it as "quaint" or "kooky." Seriously, useful idiots need to be slapped. If I could go back in time, I would make a point to slap myself.
The point is that unquestioning loyalty, not just to the Party, but to the assumptions required to make the Party propaganda appear logical and consistent is exactly what the people who rule over you REQUIRE to maintain their grip on power. So make the New Year's resolution to no longer be a useful idiot. Have no loyalty to any political party. And most importantly, identify the assumptions that are left unspoken in your Party playbook. Then question those assumptions. The Party hates that.
Resolution #3: I will not be an enabler
When a young man, woman, or other enters American military service they take an oath to defend the Constitution of the United States of America. Ha! Let's set aside for a moment the big question as to whether or not the Constitution is something worth defending (hopefully you questioned that already after making Resolution #2.)
It should be rather clear to anyone with at least 42 active brain cells that the American global empire has nothing to do with defending the Constitution, that the sadists-in-charge have no interest in the Constitution, and that the only reason for the existence of the giant military apparatus is to enable the destruction of the Rule of Law and the Constitution so these psychos can rape the country for as much graft as possible.
With that previous paragraph now fully digested, I ask you a simple question: are you an enabler? If you are serving in the United States military, the answer to that question should be obvious. So stop being an enabler. Since you can't just quit the military, stop doing your job well (unless your job is survival, in which case, do your job extraordinarily well.) Get out at the first opportunity. Stop encouraging your friends and family to join. For God's sakes stop encouraging your children to join. When you get out, agitate against military service. Donate to antiwar causes. Speak out at Church and family gatherings. Resolve to stop enabling parasites to carry out their delusions on foreign soil.
Resolution #4: I will be extra rude to a government employee/corporate crook/parasite
I might even spit on one. Bankers, corporate officers of fascist fronts like Goldman or Monsanto, TSA employees, union officials, etc. This resolution requires little explanation. Just have fun with it. Try not to get tazed.
Resolution #5: I will make the planet warmer
By now, having embraced the first four resolutions, you've realized that you held alot of unjustified assumptions about environmentalism. You questioned these assumptions and found a library of half-truths and lies, and books written by vultures and whores pushing an agenda of control and power that has nothing to do with making our world a nicer place to live. Congratulations! Now go do something about it.
Make the planet a little warmer. Resolve to stop recycling. Resolve to run the air conditioning on maximum a few times more this summer. Run the heat in the winter even when it isn't very cold. Buy a gas guzzling car. Stop carpooling. Take a drive every week just for fun. Honk and give the bird at the bicyclists on the road. Leave the lights on in your house all night. Grow a garden in your backyard for the sole purpose of increasing your consumption of water.
As you can see, this resolution has alot of potential. I'm merely scratching the suface. Feel free to add some great ideas in the comments section. Then go out there and make this world a little warmer for everyone!
Resolution #6: I will not be a debt slave
Take a year off work so you don't have to pay taxes, thus depriving the welfare/warfare State of its precious bounty. What, you say? That's impossible? You have bills and a mortgage and debt up to your eyeballs? That's a shame.
I don't. That's why I take a vacation five times a year. And I don't make all that much money. Seriously. Of course, that's not exactly taking a year off, but at my income level that's the trade-off. The point is that as long as you're a debt slave, you can't do those things. Was it worth it? Resolve to no longer be a debt slave. Pay down debts. Then pay them down more. Being debt free is one of the most liberating feelings you will experience. Anyway, it's easier to be rude to bankster gangsters and government crooks when you don't owe them any money.
Resolution #7: I will do the opposite of every advice given by the power elite's shills
The shills of the power elite reside on NPR, FOX, CNN, MSNBC, CNBC, AP, NYT, etc. If you are going to listen to these cackling idiots, only do so in order to determine the opposite of their advice. Then resolve to follow that opposite advice.
Resolution #8: I will reduce my Awareness of various causes
I am Aware.I have been Aware.I don't need to be any more Aware. In fact, I resolve to reduce my Awareness of your cause, disease, plight, affliction, situation, and/or misfortune. Go suck an egg.
Resolution #9: I will commit and get away with a victimless crime
I can't stress enough that part about getting away with it. You don't want to go to jail. I don't want you to go to jail. But committing victimless crimes and getting away with them is rather easy. Play online poker? That's a crime. Gamble on NFL games? Crime. Smoke marijuana? Crime. Download a copy of a movie without paying? Crime. And your odds of getting proseucted are equivalent to getting struck by lightning (except that marijuana one, so be careful on that one.). Every time you break an unjust law and get away with it, you delegitimize the power elite. Let the crime spree begin!
Resolution #10: I will thank a businessman
And not thank the people I am told to thank. The most underappreciated class is the businessman. Sure, America has its fair share of corporate stooges, crony capitalists, oligarchs, and various other pieces of crap. But I'm talking about the men and women busting their butts to provide you with a good or service of higher quality and lower cost without corporate welfare. They do it against the odds. They're the first people villified when money printing drives up prices (well, except maybe the heroic speculators.) Their stores are always the first to be ransacked when the welfare beggars riot. They get no love from the evening news.
And yet, without them, you'd be poorer. They make you wealthy and you don't appreciate them. So resolve to thank a businessman. And just for good measure, resolve not to thank a government lackey.
Happy New Year, Fools!
David in Qatar