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Put These New Year's Resolutions In Your Pipe

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January 01, 2011 – Comments (24)

And smoke em!  A few friendly and not-so-friendly recommendations to make your 2011 as rewarding as possible.

Resolution #1:  I will no longer be a beggar

There are many features of democracy that make me nauseous. Among the worst is that it makes begging so easy you don't even know you're doing it. So resolve to stop being a beggar. What do I mean by this? Stop asking government to provide things for you. You don't pay for them, at least not in full. For example, if you walked into the grocery store and offered to pay $25 for $50 worth fof groceries, you know what that makes you? A beggar. A charity case. So when you ask the government to provide something for you, something that you are not willing to fully compensate for your portion, you are a beggar. Sugar coat and rationalize it however you want. You're still a beggar.

"I, 'state your name,' hereby resolve to no longer ask the government to provide any service for a discount. I will pay my share. (Not my "fair" share or any other equivocating b.s.) No. My "actual" share. If that's not an option, if that's beyond my means, I will not ask for any increase in government services. Period. I will no longer be a beggar."

See how much fun this is?

Resolution #2: I will not be a useful idiot

When I was entering physical adulthood (mental adulthood came much later.. or not at all depending on who you ask,) I had accepted and swallowed many assumptions about the institutions and people that ruled over me. I didn't question any of these assumptions. I bought the prepackaged Party handbook, with all the talking points in bold letters, and learned the basics of parroting the Party line to anyone who questioned it. It gave me a sense of importance. It impressed the elderly and the quarter-educated. I was special.

Yeah, special-ed maybe. Actually, I was a useful idiot. Back then, I think I was a Republican, but it doesn't matter. I was a moron no matter what Party line I was vomiting on my term papers and family members. (Sadly, they liked me better back then. Oh well.)

Let me give you a quick example of a person that lived Resolution #2 his entire life: Lysander Spooner. Lysander didn't even accept the assumption that he should honor the Constitution as a patriotic duty. He wrote an entire book about it. It's called No Treason: The Constitution of No Aurthoriy. I read the first few chapters. It's quite amusing. It's also difficult to deny his logic, except to run the usual useful idiot play and dismiss it as "quaint" or "kooky." Seriously, useful idiots need to be slapped. If I could go back in time, I would make a point to slap myself.

The point is that unquestioning loyalty, not just to the Party, but to the assumptions required to make the Party propaganda appear logical and consistent is exactly what the people who rule over you REQUIRE to maintain their grip on power.  So make the New Year's resolution to no longer be a useful idiot. Have no loyalty to any political party. And most importantly, identify the assumptions that are left unspoken in your Party playbook. Then question those assumptions. The Party hates that.

Resolution #3: I will not be an enabler

When a young man, woman, or other enters American military service they take an oath to defend the Constitution of the United States of America. Ha! Let's set aside for a moment the big question as to whether or not the Constitution is something worth defending (hopefully you questioned that already after making Resolution #2.)

It should be rather clear to anyone with at least 42 active brain cells that the American global empire has nothing to do with defending the Constitution, that the sadists-in-charge have no interest in the Constitution, and that the only reason for the existence of the giant military apparatus is to enable the destruction of the Rule of Law and the Constitution so these psychos can rape the country for as much graft as possible.

With that previous paragraph now fully digested, I ask you a simple question: are you an enabler? If you are serving in the United States military, the answer to that question should be obvious. So stop being an enabler. Since you can't just quit the military, stop doing your job well (unless your job is survival, in which case, do your job extraordinarily well.) Get out at the first opportunity. Stop encouraging your friends and family to join. For God's sakes stop encouraging your children to join. When you get out, agitate against military service. Donate to antiwar causes. Speak out at Church and family gatherings. Resolve to stop enabling parasites to carry out their delusions on foreign soil.

Resolution #4: I will be extra rude to a government employee/corporate crook/parasite

I might even spit on one. Bankers, corporate officers of fascist fronts like Goldman or Monsanto, TSA employees, union officials, etc. This resolution requires little explanation. Just have fun with it. Try not to get tazed.

Resolution #5: I will make the planet warmer

By now, having embraced the first four resolutions, you've realized that you held alot of unjustified assumptions about environmentalism. You questioned these assumptions and found a library of half-truths and lies, and books written by vultures and whores pushing an agenda of control and power that has nothing to do with making our world a nicer place to live. Congratulations! Now go do something about it.

Make the planet a little warmer. Resolve to stop recycling. Resolve to run the air conditioning on maximum a few times more this summer. Run the heat in the winter even when it isn't very cold. Buy a gas guzzling car. Stop carpooling. Take a drive every week just for fun. Honk and give the bird at the bicyclists on the road. Leave the lights on in your house all night. Grow a garden in your backyard for the sole purpose of increasing your consumption of water.

As you can see, this resolution has alot of potential. I'm merely scratching the suface. Feel free to add some great ideas in the comments section. Then go out there and make this world a little warmer for everyone!

Resolution #6: I will not be a debt slave

Take a year off work so you don't have to pay taxes, thus depriving the welfare/warfare State of its precious bounty. What, you say? That's impossible? You have bills and a mortgage and debt up to your eyeballs?  That's a shame.

I don't. That's why I take a vacation five times a year. And I don't make all that much money. Seriously. Of course, that's not exactly taking a year off, but at my income level that's the trade-off. The point is that as long as you're a debt slave, you can't do those things. Was it worth it? Resolve to no longer be a debt slave. Pay down debts. Then pay them down more. Being debt free is one of the most liberating feelings you will experience. Anyway, it's easier to be rude to bankster gangsters and government crooks when you don't owe them any money.

Resolution #7: I will do the opposite of every advice given by the power elite's shills

The shills of the power elite reside on NPR, FOX, CNN, MSNBC, CNBC, AP, NYT, etc. If you are going to listen to these cackling idiots, only do so in order to determine the opposite of their advice. Then resolve to follow that opposite advice.

Resolution #8: I will reduce my Awareness of various causes

I am Aware.I have been Aware.I don't need to be any more Aware. In fact, I resolve to reduce my Awareness of your cause, disease, plight, affliction, situation, and/or misfortune. Go suck an egg.

Resolution #9: I will commit and get away with a victimless crime

I can't stress enough that part about getting away with it. You don't want to go to jail. I don't want you to go to jail. But committing victimless crimes and getting away with them is rather easy. Play online poker? That's a crime. Gamble on NFL games? Crime. Smoke marijuana? Crime. Download a copy of a movie without paying? Crime. And your odds of getting proseucted are equivalent to getting struck by lightning (except that marijuana one, so be careful on that one.). Every time you break an unjust law and get away with it, you delegitimize the power elite. Let the crime spree begin!

Resolution #10: I will thank a businessman

And not thank the people I am told to thank. The most underappreciated class is the businessman. Sure, America has its fair share of corporate stooges, crony capitalists, oligarchs, and various other pieces of crap. But I'm talking about the men and women busting their butts to provide you with a good or service of higher quality and lower cost without corporate welfare. They do it against the odds. They're the first people villified when money printing drives up prices (well, except maybe the heroic speculators.)  Their stores are always the first to be ransacked when the welfare beggars riot. They get no love from the evening news.

And yet, without them, you'd be poorer. They make you wealthy and you don't appreciate them. So resolve to thank a businessman. And just for good measure, resolve not to thank a government lackey.

Happy New Year, Fools!

David in Qatar

24 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On January 01, 2011 at 2:20 AM, TMFCrocoStimpy (95.23) wrote:

Seems as though you've had many pints of bitter this evening, David.  Happy New Year!

-Stimpy

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#2) On January 01, 2011 at 4:20 AM, FleaBagger (29.46) wrote:

Happy new year, David! Even though some of these resolutions run directly counter to my religion, I understand where they're coming from, and I sympathize. 

Jesus taught submission to political powers, up to the point of being commanded to sin, and then resisting peacefully. I can still honor your resolution #9, though, because not all laws are victimless laws. For example, I resolve to break any and all applicable illegal immigration snitch laws, because God's law (love thy neighbor) trumps man's law (don't cross this border and start adding value to our economy until Simon says, and the hell with your starving family in Honduras). I resolve to break snitch laws about cannabis, and in fact all snitch laws that don't protect people's life or property.

I resolve to speak up more at church and to all my Christian brothers about our unfortunately forgotten traditions of noninvolvement in government and the military. I resolve to draw the line in the sand between faith and patriotism.

I resolve to explain better why I stopped being the Christian Right and started being just Christian. 

All the best! 

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#3) On January 01, 2011 at 5:40 AM, whereaminow (56.98) wrote:

TMFCrocoStimpy,

Happy New Year! I'm actually not much of a drinker (seriously!). Oh sure, I still have a drink every now and then. And once or twice a year I might get a little carried away (sweet, sweet whiskey....)  But I quit being a drunk (inlcuding New Year's) when I realized that the State encourages alcohol abuse. It's easier to rule over drunks. Just ask Mikhail Gorbachev.

Nor do I consider myself bitter. I'm actually really blessed. Oh sure, I hold those who wish to rule me in contempt. But that doesn't alter my outlook on family life, friendship, or personal fulfillment. I have to say, I think it's important to not let the sociopaths alter that part of your life, since that would indicate that they do have a level of control over you.  To hell with that! =D

FleaBagger,

Happy New Year! Granted some of this is tongue-in-cheek, but overall the theme is timeless. I'll say this, that while I would never advocate any violent acts (including spitting on someone.. that was a joke, but if you do find yourself in a heated argument with a TSA molester and some spit just happens to leave your mouth and land on his slovenly uniform, more power to ya!) I do advocate destabilizing the system. That means you have to be quite a clever little bastard of course. See: Julian Assange. And that could mean some precarious backlash. See: Julian Assange. But if you can do it and get away with it, I say go for it!

Whatever we can do to get their panties up in a bunch!

I like your point about immigration and I feel the same way. It's yet another issue where I disagree with both the Right and the Left.  (Are there any issues left where I find common ground with either Party? Hmmm.... can't say there is, I guess.)

Well, here's to a great 2011. I hope your faith and understanding grows (as well as your stash of shiny metals, hehe).

All the best, bud!

David in Qatar

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#4) On January 01, 2011 at 6:19 AM, ttboydxb (29.42) wrote:

Dude, I love it.  Reading your post I was reminded of that scene in Fight Club where guys are going around trying to start fights, you know the one??

 

I can see fellow fools going around hocking loogeys at corporate blokes and bankers.  Boy would I LOVE to drench any Embassy / Consulate employee for any country.  Is it just me or are they the most miserable, useless, slow, stupid, unmotivated, grumpy people out there?

 

Won't try i here in Dubai tho, might end up in the slammer if you do it to the wrong last name.  

Have a great 2011!

 

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#5) On January 01, 2011 at 7:27 AM, whereaminow (56.98) wrote:

ttboydxb,

Thanks bro! Happy New Year!

Reading your post I was reminded of that scene in Fight Club where guys are going around trying to start fights, you know the one??

Your homework assignment is to start a fight.... and lose....

Boy would I LOVE to drench any Embassy / Consulate employee for any country.  Is it just me or are they the most miserable, useless, slow, stupid, unmotivated, grumpy people out there?

As a former United States Embassy employee, the answer to that question is an unequivocal yes.

Won't try i here in Dubai tho, might end up in the slammer if you do it to the wrong last name.

Funny how UAE and Qatar can be so economically free (0% individual income tax is a tremendous advantage in this day and age) and yet so socially repressive. Of course, it's worse for the Muslims than for the non-Muslims, but on certain issues (like smoking pot or disrespecting someone with wastah) there's a line you do not cross. It's a shame but since they just crawled out of the rocks 20 years ago, I suspect that these attitudes will change as time goes on.

David in Qatar

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#6) On January 01, 2011 at 10:59 AM, motleyanimal (93.95) wrote:

Resolution #5: I will make the planet warmer

I'm way ahead of you on this one. I cut down a 40 ft. shade tree on my property 2 years ago in response to my green energy municipal utility raising my rates 13%. Excellent firewood.

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#7) On January 01, 2011 at 2:55 PM, blesto (31.66) wrote:

Happy new year Dave!

#1 Yeah OK but I still like to use coupons, seek discounts, take advantage of sales, and like to haggle price.

#2 Hmm, dissent. What could be more American than that? I still believe in the US constitution as a living document that gets its life from the governed. When one takes an Oath to defend it, that doesn't mean you have to agree with those supposedly in charge.  I'm probably still an idiot, but I will endeavor to not be useful to anyone but myself in the context of what you're saying. I still want to be useful as a contributing member of at least my local society.

#3 I kinda overlapped this one with #2 but I think it is good to have military skills and knowledge. You just never know when it might come in handy. No one prays for peace more than soldiers and sailors. What is needed are more constitutionally minded leaders in the military that aren't beholding to the military industrial complex.

#4 Spitting at someone is an assault and violent act. Try being more passive/aggressive. Especially with the TSA, like when they pat you down become overly ticklish, or dance through the naked scanner.

#5 Enviromentalism. All ism's aren't really good for anything. I do believe in recycling though. Waste not want not. It just seems logical to me. Now I think all that tedious seperating of all your trash is useless. Just pick it all up, deliver it to an industrial size plant that can do it and create jobs. As a matter of fact(or just my opinion) the next great mining opportunities will be old land fills. Aaah, more jobs.  One of my favorite companies and holdings is Nucor Corp. (NUE)  They are a steel scrap recycler. But about making the planet warmer, well we've been global warming ever since the last ice age and eventually the planet will go back to a cooling trend. Man really doesn't have control of all that. Just go with the global flow and learn to use it. Burn that firewood, but isn't it logical to have sustainable foresting practices so you can always have a supply?  We as humans are capable of adapting to whatever the planet cycles do.

#6 I couldn't agree with you more. Debt = Slavery

    It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, "Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest pleasures, - - - Paying the last installment."

#7 Don't leave out PBS.

#8 You are a hard case. It's good to be able to keep an eye on what they're all doing. Or maybe you're a softie at heart and have a difficult time with saying, "No, I can't send money and have no intentions to. I have other problems to deal with. Thankyou for bringing it to my attention though. Good bye!"

#9 I speed in my car all the time and I deny, deny, deny everything else.

#10 Better than thanking the businessman. Give them some business!

Cheers-n-beers this new year!

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#8) On January 01, 2011 at 9:40 PM, whereaminow (56.98) wrote:

motleyanimal,

Nice work!  Happy New Year!

blesto,

Happy New Year! Awesome stuff!

but I still like to use coupons

Hmmmmm, well that certainly doesn't make you a beggar, I suppose. And since no one is forcing someone else to pay extra on your behalf, there is nothing wrong with seeking discounts. That's smart consumer behavior.

#8 You are a hard case.

LOL, that one made me laugh as I wrote it. And if I didn't laugh at my own jokes, no one would.

Have a great 2011!

David in Qatar

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#9) On January 01, 2011 at 10:47 PM, Valyooo (99.65) wrote:

Your anti-environmentalism has absolutely no merit at all.  I agree people should do as they please but how can you even say that not recycling, not conserving energy, not polluting, etc dont help to make the world a little better?  Even oil executives agree with this, you are being obnoxious, and you never explain your opinion on this at all.

 

BTW, I got Money, Bank Credit, and Economic Cycles and it is completely subjective and you told me it was not...a little agitated because it cost a lot of money.

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#10) On January 01, 2011 at 10:49 PM, Valyooo (99.65) wrote:

Also, if I am forced to pay taxes, and I don't try to get government aid, that does not make me a beggar, but an idiot....I agree, the begging done in this country is obnoxious, but I am paying taxes for other people to get free stuff, so I am going to take advantage of a system I am paying into.  Otherwise its like buying a steak and throwing away half of it

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#11) On January 01, 2011 at 11:03 PM, blesto (31.66) wrote:

Free money they don't want you to know about. 

Mmm...Snicker...

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#12) On January 01, 2011 at 11:33 PM, whereaminow (56.98) wrote:

Valyooo,

Happy New Year!

I sometimes get the sense that you don't like me. That's a shame ;)

Your anti-environmentalism has absolutely no merit at all.  I agree people should do as they please but how can you even say that not recycling, not conserving energy, not polluting, etc dont help to make the world a little better?  Even oil executives agree with this, you are being obnoxious, and you never explain your opinion on this at all.

Er, um, well, if rich oil oligarchs that promote corporate welfare tell me it's a great thing to do, by golly, let me get right on that! Recycling is a fraud. AGW is a scam. Warm it up, baby!

Sorry I don't fully explain every position in every single post. I'm way too lazy for that. Guess you'll just have to wait on that one!

BTW, I got Money, Bank Credit, and Economic Cycles and it is completely subjective and you told me it was not...a little agitated because it cost a lot of money.

C'est dommage. I thought it was a fantastic book. What specific criticisms do you have?  I don't even know how to address something so vague. And when did I say it was not subjective? Are you sure you are using the right word there? It's theory-based, not econometric-based. But is subjectivity your real complaint?  Econometrics are subjective too, bro. I don't know what economics book you've read that is objective, but if there is one, it was written by a non-human.

Have a great 2011!

David in Qatar

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#13) On January 02, 2011 at 12:12 AM, NOTvuffett (< 20) wrote:

Happy New Year David.  I don't always agree with you but I always like reading your stuff.

#4 really resonates with me.  Recently, I was expanding my business and had to get approval from a govt. agent.  They demanded documents that are mandated by regulation.  We have to employ a chemist just to maintain these documents.  The documents in question have technical information in them but they are also written in a fashion that a high school drop-out can understand.   Approval was delayed until an "expert" was available to "interpret" the documents.

What I do not get is that many people, maybe even a majority of them, don't understand that the govt. lacks the basic feedback mechanism that makes the free market system so powerful.

 

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#14) On January 02, 2011 at 12:43 AM, whereaminow (56.98) wrote:

NOTvuffett,

If these so-called government experts were that smart, that they are deemed the authority to determine the safety and technical specifics of your business, wouldn't they be working for people like you, instead of toiling in endless bureaucracy?

Or am I to believe the fairy tale that they are so selfless, noble, and free of greed that they eschew any material compensation because working for the public good provides them the only compensation they need?

Ha! You know the truth as well as I. They are flunkeys and welfare cases. Nothing more.

Happy New Year!

David in Qatar

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#15) On January 02, 2011 at 12:55 AM, Valyooo (99.65) wrote:

Subjective because the whole book is anti fractional reserve banking, and you said it explained it without having an opinion on it

Explain to me how recycling is a fraud, and how wasting energy is gonna do anything other than run your bill up, and also explain how its ok to spit on somebody who's opinion differs from yours?

I don't dislike you at all, you just have a tendency to say the same things repeatedly and I constantly ask you to explain it and you always say you don't have time which leads me to believe you can't explain it. I want to be on your side on most of these issues but you don't show me anything, ýou just seem to lash out instead of explain. Also seems crazy that you work in fields of people you think should be spit upon

I got "the state" though, haven't read that yet

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#16) On January 02, 2011 at 1:16 AM, Valyooo (99.65) wrote:

And, I wish you a happy 2011 as well. I didn't mean to sound angry, just saying what was on my mind...no hard feelings

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#17) On January 02, 2011 at 1:24 AM, whereaminow (56.98) wrote:

Valyooo,

you said it explained it without having an opinion on it

It's a conclusion, not an opinoin. The first chapter examines the legal issues and history of demand deposits. The second chapter looks at the origins of fractional reserve, which are fraudent in origin, along with contrasting that against the history of the Bank of Amsterdam, which did not engage in fractional reserve.

Now, if you disagree with his conclusion, that's fine. But I suspect you have never read another book quite like it, so it will challenge the conventional view.

As far as subjectivity, if that truly is an obstacle for you, it is going to be quite difficult to ever find a book that will make you happy, whether it is anti-frac or not. Every econ is subjective. Usually, they take frac banking as a given. That's a subjective decision as well.

Explain to me how recycling is a fraud, and how wasting energy is gonna do anything other than run your bill up, and also explain how its ok to spit on somebody who's opinion differs from yours?

Do you understand that this post is fun?

I am quote myself from this same blog:

"By now, having embraced the first four resolutions, you've realized that you held alot of unjustified assumptions about environmentalism. You questioned these assumptions and found a library of half-truths and lies, and books written by vultures and whores pushing an agenda of control and power that has nothing to do with making our world a nicer place to live." - whereaminow

If you do as I suggest, you won't be raising these protests. But, if you truly want a discussion on environmental issues, you are just going to have to wait. I'm not really interested in that today, and I get to say what I write about, not you. If you don't like it. Too bad.

I don't dislike you at all, you just have a tendency to say the same things repeatedly and I constantly ask you to explain it and you always say you don't have time which leads me to believe you can't explain it.

If you really think that, why do you keep asking? I've written some 50,000 words on these blogs FOR FREE.  I don't work for you. I'll get to it when I get to it.

Also seems crazy that you work in fields of people you think should be spit upon

It's just a joke buddy. Take it down a notch.

I got "the state" though, haven't read that yet

I hope you enjoy it!

David in Qatar 

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#18) On January 02, 2011 at 1:51 AM, whereaminow (56.98) wrote:

#16) On January 02, 2011 at 1:16 AM, Valyooo (97.55) wrote:

And, I wish you a happy 2011 as well. I didn't mean to sound angry, just saying what was on my mind...no hard feelings

No problem! Besides, disliking me is good for your health.

David in Qatar

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#19) On January 04, 2011 at 4:30 PM, turdburglar (46.44) wrote:

Very enjoyable reading. 

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#20) On January 04, 2011 at 4:44 PM, Turfscape (41.06) wrote:

David wrote:
"Resolution #4: I will be extra rude to a government employee/corporate crook/parasite
I might even spit on one. Bankers, corporate officers of fascist fronts like Goldman or Monsanto...

Resolution #10: I will thank a businessman"

It's a pretty fine line between "corporate crook" and "businessman". In many instances the only difference is that one has been caught, and one hasn't.

Oh...and can't I thank a business woman instead?

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#21) On January 04, 2011 at 5:08 PM, rfaramir (29.59) wrote:

#4 is not sufficiently clearly a joke, but without the assault of spitting I agree.

#5 makes you sound like Rush Limbaugh! From me, that's a compliment, but you may want to take it as a warning.

#9 please don't pirate my software! From a theoretical point of view, IP should not exist, as it is an aggression on your private property rights. But that doesn't mean I like it when someone uses my software without paying for it. And don't do drugs, for your own sake. I'm in complete agreement that government should not make it criminal, but that doesn't make it good.

But that's all minor quibbles among friends! You have my whole-hearted agreement in general and my best wishes in the New Year!

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#22) On January 05, 2011 at 2:34 PM, Jbay76 (< 20) wrote:

David,

 

I think Stimpy, in repsonse #1, was reffering to a pint of English bitter, a beer with a lot of bittering hops and a slight bite as a result and not that you sounded bitter.  A very comon beer in England that comes as a mild, a normal and extra special bitter (ESB). 

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#23) On January 10, 2011 at 1:06 AM, checklist34 (99.73) wrote:

I was, in fact, too stoned to reply to this post on NYE when I was i think the first guy to rec it... I realized, in the midst of that TCH fueled haze, that ethanol is a bit of a retarded way to alter ones mind...  Really, though... fun, but really.

One thing, though, your suggestion to thank a businessman and your condemnation of corporations are at odds in the minds of most people.  Once a businessman gets successful, even if EVERY one of his employees are paid 50+% over market value and all but 3 more than they had ever been paid before, and even if it took ten years and a whole lot of sacrifice...

everybody still gets po'd at you and gives you the whole "damn the man, corporations are evil" crap left and right.  

Society isn't quite able to differentiate, and the amount of love you get from society is pretty minimal relative to the amount of flack you get.  

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#24) On January 10, 2011 at 1:08 AM, checklist34 (99.73) wrote:

i'm with you on most of these... 

 

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