Quit worrying, the market won't drop
The PPT will save us! The market can't ever crash... can't go down more than 400 points a day. The gremlins over at the PPT are buying stocks with taxpayer money. We'll never crash cause the government wouldn't allow us to with an election coming up.
Oh wait, the market did crash today. The dow futures suggest we're opening 150 points lower tomorrow. The PPT isn't saving us! Why aren't they buying? We're crashing and the PPT is just twidling their thumbs? I thought the government had our back?! Wait, you're telling me there is no PPT? Whatttt? All these years, I thought the government was buying stocks out of their nuclear bomb shelters. Whatever will I do? The market is going to crash! I was an idiot... I listened to all these stupid gold bugs like Jim Sinclair and now my broker is giving me a margin call. The PPT was all a sick joke by people trying to sell me silver at $20 an ounce?! Sigh, now I'm broke, but at least I'm wiser. Well, at least I can get my money back... I just got this exciting e-mail about a sweet business deal in Nigeria!