DJoshuaRubin (97.99)

Random Ramble #1

September 30, 2010 – Comments (2)

Best start of a CAPS post ever - Astology Upadate.  I love a good funny typo. Like this one - asstrology. 

So McDonald's is having issues with providing health care to workers? I'm shocked. This is one time when I would insist my company not eat their own cooking. I could go for a Big Mac now though. Word.

How funny is the thought of Buffett and Gates meeting with a bunch of Chinese billionaires - right as Buffett and Gates are giving away their billions? If I was one of those Chinese fellas I would work harrrrrd to steer the conversation away from charity and toward the shrimp dumplings.  "Mr. Wun Hung Lo (my name in Chinese), lately we've been-- "Yes, yes I know, eating shrimp dumplings. Take a walk on the wild side and dip them in the oyster sauce!" 

Spammers need to be executed or given life in prison. I don't work in the Fool HQ office but I'll bet the boys fighting the recent attack worked their living buns off to fight that thing and I - who have enjoyed this community so much for FREE, greatly appreciate their work. 

That poor dude drove his Segway off a cliff. Holy Moses. The cruel irony of buying a company that's meant to change the nature of transportation, to improve the movement of whole cities - and to drive it to your death?! Wow. I can't say if the Universe is inherently good, evil or indifferent, but it definitely likes dark comedy. I am officially scrapping my plans to reinvent the pogo stick. 

I put 5K in the Fool mutual fund. Bill's letters and writing are just too freaking good. And I get to own a piece of a stock called Anally. Get it? Annnnnulllleee. (It is too still funny) This is an investment in support of the arts as much as my family fortune.

I always giggle when FB tells me someone likes my link. And I darn sure am not ashamed to like my own Jimmy Dean.

Your real friends know exactly how hard to kick your bottom when you're screwing up.  Just enough to crush incompetence/ego and not enough to kill your spirit. They make life worthwhile. My pal, Motley Fool Editor/and more, Roger Friedman is that kind of friend. 

How many sleepless nights have food scientists spent perfecting the unopenable cereal bag. They're so close. And I have a kitchen floor covered in Crispix to prove it. 

Let's all just agree to make being obese hot and sexy. Then we can stop scorning and start admiring the 30-40% of Americans who can't shut their pie-holes. And get the real mayo at Subway. And double cheese. And start a whole new 3-5 year-campaign where we all cheer for Jared to become a fat arse again. "Chow chow, you're our cow, eat that beef and show us how." 

I still - after months and months of horror - haven't sold my house. The gruesome nature of this experience is life-changing. If anyone can make the $ case for renting, please-please-please post a detailed, passionate advocation for renting. The only thing my prison cell of a house is missing is a 6'8'' tattooed homicidal maniac to cook and clean for. 

Studies show the dumber you are the smarter you think you are and the smarter you are the dumber you think you are. I must be a genius 'cause I'm know I'm a moron.  

Hopefully there's a comic strip idea in here somewhere. Baby has to eat. Goo goo!

Fool On,

H. Wood D.

Shyster