Right in the ...!
So, you've been watching Mad Money haven't you? Admit it, you have been not only watching Cramer, but the rest of the net fishers and cheerleaders on CNBC. I know it, and what's funny is I know you know I know, and heck, even Al knows what you've been doing.
Please don't tell me you have been taken in. Please don't tell me you are on some quest to "Get Back to Even" by investing in the American markets. Please don't tell me!!!
Alright, go ahead and tell me.
I submit, the current market rally is real, it must be, the chest thumping guys and screechy chickies on CNBC say it is. You must be right, the DOW is going back to 14,000 by next year. There is no reason to be hesitant. No reason to take profits. You can get back to even if you just stay in!!! It's true.
STOP! Cramer time> baa dadada budumb badumb,
My-my-my-my (U can't touch this) Cramer hits me so hard
Makes me say,"oh my lord thank you for blessing me
With a mind to rhyme and two hyped feet"
It feels good
When you know you're sown
A superdope homeboy from the Phillytown
And I'm known as such
And this is a beat-uh!
U can't touch this
Alright, I'm being harsh, to Cramer's credit, he is saying take some profits right now, in between giving people stocks that have run up 40% or 50% to buy. A bunch of those other jokers on Cartoon Network Business Channel, especially Dennis "Fozzy Bear" Neal have the pom pons going up down and all around at warp speed.
So what's my message other than making a little fun of a network that's easy to make fun of?
Just this: The current rally is the biggest sucker's rally since 2007 (remember markets peaked in 2007, not 2008).
If you are close to retiring, get down to about 25% American equities or equity funds, and make them the value oriented type that pay some dividend. The rest ought to be spread all over the globe in commodities, currencies and dividend paying stocks. That's right, dump your bonds for the most part (cuz inflation in coming in a year or two), 'cept for a real return fund for loot you might need in the next five years and possibly a global bond fund that will buy some converts & preferreds (I'm not even sure that exists on the open end side, probably have to go closed end so you'll have to be mindful not to pay too high expenses and that there is liquidity).
Anyway, you can ignore me, I'm only right ALMOST all of the time (and really I'm not that smart, I just copy really smart guys). Just remember this, I told you the crash was coming way ahead of time, about the same time I told clients and yanked a ton of their money out of the American markets (though in I habve been heavier in currencies, commodities and foriegn stocks since 1999 than our silly friend Modern Portfolio Theory would have recommended), and I'm telling you again now that there will be another major correction (I think not as harsh, butt we'll see) real soon. If you ignore me, I bet you take it right in the butt.- AGAIN. Can you afford that?