A DANCE WITH THE DEVIL
Opposing armies locked in mortal combat in The City On The Hill agree to a pact with the Devil: they invent “sequestration”: across the board cuts in all parts of the King's Budget. So hideous is this, that they shall be forced to become brothers once again.
THE GREAT ZONTAR SPEAKS
First, this is not a new idea: a peasant named Paul Ryan proposed such a monstrosity 2 years ago. Before that, there was Gramm-Rudman-Hollings, which was identical and equally evil. Gentleman (and I use the term loosely), I do not believe this is wise. If it should ever come to pass, there shall be much wailing and gnashing of teeth throughout the land: GDP shall become red, the royal exchequer shall fall deeper into debt, merchants shall go broke, and many peasants shall lose their jobs. I beseech you: do not do this deed.
THE SKY IS FALLING! THE SKY IS FALLING!!
Wait a second...these are gold coins. Did not the great Sir Paul say that if the pact comes to pass, there shall be great tragedy? But behold: the royal deficit is half of what it was 2 years ago, GDP is green once again, the merchants' purses are heavy, and the legions of the jobless are smaller than before. Perhaps Beelzebub is rummaging through his closet in search of his ice skates.
Observe this headstone. I have but one question: who is John Maynard Keynes?