Use access key #2 to skip to page content.

alstry (35.38)

Spector Vector Update...7800 Line is Being Drawn

Recs

12

March 27, 2009 – Comments (7)

As we discussed earlier this week...a physical gold layer formed behind the physical silver layer on the Massive Convex Reflector formation between the 7500 and 7800 level.

There are historically low readings on the fictional Photon Spectrometer.

A gathering of Ghosers cousins is forming around the 5000...to 5500 level just waiting for their translucent relative to join the party. 

As the quarter ends and the Mutual Fund players are leaving the table....there seems to be few who want to venture beyond the safety of physical gold backing the Convex Reflector.....can you blame them.

Next week we should be in for some very interesting times.  There has been large outbreaks of the FU virus all over America today.....the viral epidemic is now parabolic.....all those who read this blog should be prepared....so let's enjoy a little legal humor for the weekend as we grab our bloodys:

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.


 
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes . ;
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
____________________________ ______ _________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
___________________________________ ______ ___

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the circus was in town, I'm going with male.
_____ ________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
________________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WIT NESS : The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________

And the best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

7 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On March 27, 2009 at 4:33 PM, alstry (35.38) wrote:

A few patients that have presented with the FU virus in the ER today........Charter Files for Chapter 11

KB Home Sees Slump Continuing

Amazon to Close Some Facilities

GM Unlikely to Meet Deadline

GM said 7,600 union workers took a buyout, but it seems unlikely the company will reach other concessions by a March 31 deadline.

Omni National Bank in Georgia Shut, 21st U.S. Failure

Default Rate Rises for Student Loans, U.S. Government Reports

California Says Stimulus Money Won’t Trump Tax Rise

U.K. Recession Worse Than Estimated on Spending Slump

A total of seven states have passed the 10% unemployment rate as the Jobless Slump Spreads.

 

Report this comment
#2) On March 27, 2009 at 4:51 PM, dudemonkey (40.87) wrote:

awesome!

Report this comment
#3) On March 27, 2009 at 4:55 PM, alstry (35.38) wrote:

Calpers Demands Better Terms

Calpers told more than two dozen hedge-fund managers it wants better terms or they could lose the public pension fund's business.

Alstry's take....if you are going to continue to lose my client's money....please charge me less.

Report this comment
#4) On March 27, 2009 at 5:06 PM, crystlz (57.48) wrote:

Alstry,

I may be missing the investment opportunity of my lifetime but I am not going to open any long positions until the next round of earnings are reported. I just don't see how it could have been a great quarter. 

I, personally, am putting energy into my vegetable garden and keeping a couple of years worth of cash on hand. From what I've learned in my brief trading endeavor it seems like an awfully dangerous time to buy this rally and a dangerous time to short it as well. 

Once again, thank you for what you do.

peace bro,

gr 

Report this comment
#5) On March 27, 2009 at 5:35 PM, tonylogan1 (27.87) wrote:

Best (Alstry) post ever... Those had me laughing out loud.

Report this comment
#6) On March 27, 2009 at 7:02 PM, nuf2bdangrus (< 20) wrote:

LMBFAO

Report this comment
#7) On March 27, 2009 at 8:43 PM, thisislabor (< 20) wrote:

lmfao,

he's twenty, much like your IQ

Report this comment

Featured Broker Partners


Advertisement