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The Poop

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7

December 04, 2008 – Comments (6) | RELATED TICKERS: F , EPG , GM

During todays Senate hearing on whether or not to pump out the 'not so big anymore are you' three Domestic Auto Makers, (DAM) we learned that GM employees make $78, $75,$73,$71,$70, $48, $47, $38, $28, $14, or $12/hour. Not including of course, the Executives, who are expected to make $00.000487804/hour ($1.00 annually divided by an estimated 2050 hours worked). Whatever the actual figure for labor costs is, we here at "The Poop" believe statistically it will end with the number 8. In addition we learned that labor costs add $700, $1000, $1200, or $2000 (The cute, but unpleasant blond repeator on CNBC gave us that last figure) into the price of a car. It was not to be expected the variety of figures representing the price of labor would equal the variety of figures representing the cost of labor. Problems with balancing numbers are well known in Detroit and Washington. It was also learned that the UAW buyout of GM's healthcare obligation in Jan 2010 will cost GM a lumpy payment of $60bil, $50bil, $47bil, $35bil, $30bil, $17bil, or $1bil in Jan 2010. It was nice to pin that down.

Shares of EPG, converter of BS into saleable energy, finished the day slightly higher as a small amount of the available BS was flushed from the market. Early in the days trading shares of EPG, converter of BS into saleable energy, moved lower as an unexpected supply of BS was dumped onto the trading floor, before clearing the pipeline later.

In other news US Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke, spoke to an after breakfast conference on Housing and Finance at the Federal Reserve in Washington. The speech covered the collapsing housing market and the evolution of the varied policys vainly used to combat the collapsing price of housing. It is rumored that at the conclusion of the conference an aid was heard to mutter "One hour of talking and all he says is 'unexpected sh*t happens'" as Bernanke hurried from the podium.

6 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On December 04, 2008 at 5:58 PM, guiron (20.22) wrote:

Nobody working as a factory worker for GM is making $78/hr. They maybe make $60K for the highest paid worker. Even with pensions, it still doesn't come out to $78/hr. Those numbers are ridiculously inflated. The pension stuff was settled a while ago, but the UAW are willing to settle for less now.

I'm not really that surprised that a lot of the blame for the automakers' failure is being laid at the feet of factory workers, because the US has been pro-finance, anti-labor for years now. But it doesn't really make it an accurate assessment, nor did anyone ask whether the finance companies and banks we're bailing out with a gargantuan sum with almost no questions asked had bad business models and overpaid workers.

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#2) On December 04, 2008 at 6:56 PM, nuf2bdangrus (< 20) wrote:

Nice post.

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#3) On December 04, 2008 at 8:44 PM, devoish (98.57) wrote:

Dino,

I should have used the word Scatalogical in the title.

Nuf,

Thanks, I would prefer "Nice Poop", or Good Poop. I would like this blog to stay fully dedicated to our daily Poop movements.

quiron,

Thank you for the reply, This blogletter is dedicated to tracking the volume of BS on the markets and its effect on the movements of shares of EPG, converter of BS into saleable energy. Because of the markets dependence on an uninterrupted flow of BS there is concern that any information that is not BS could potentially cause the BS markets to backup and possibly become frozen. It is very important to maintain the markets confidence that BS will always be marketable. While all readers are welcome and all responses are valued, efforts that might disrupt the flow of BS  cannot be tolerated as the risk of systemic breakdown is always just one flush away.

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#4) On December 04, 2008 at 9:25 PM, devoish (98.57) wrote:

In fact, for a perfect example of the type of BS that is needed to keep BS flowing please have a look at this video adding up the the various bailouts in order to reach a total of 8.5tril that someone told them is the correct answer even though the bailouts they list add up to a number best described as "not 8.5tril".

 

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#5) On December 04, 2008 at 9:26 PM, devoish (98.57) wrote:

Oops. the video.

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#6) On December 05, 2008 at 1:29 AM, BigFatBEAR (29.19) wrote:

In the event of a BS backup or freeze, it will become necessary to flood the system with plenty of H20, M1, and especially M2. Be careful, however, as this can devalue existing the existing liquidity...  (ok I give up with the lame joke already)

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