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The solution to high food prices and matress manufacturers' woes

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April 09, 2008 – Comments (2) | RELATED TICKERS: TPX , ZZ

Anyone who has followed the stocks of mattress manufacturers knows that they have been getting absolutely hammered lately as consumer spending has slowed and the housing market has fallen off of a cliff.  Well, I believe that I have found the answer to these companies’ problems.  Start marketing their products to a new audience…cows.  According to a recent article in the Cleveland Plain Dealer titled Waterbeds keep cows udderly content in Geauga County, cattle that sleep on waterbeds produce 20% more milk.  Think of the potential for this vast new market.  If companies like Tempur Pedic, Select Comfort, and Sealy could just tap a small percentage of the 98 million head of cattle in that currently live within the borders of the United States they could really juice their earnings.  This doesn't even get into the possibility of global expansion.  With a global population of an astonishing 1.53 billion cattle, a new bovine product line from conventional mattress manufacturers could produce an amazing windfall for investors.  Not only is there an enormous global market for this new product, but I don't see why it couldn't be expanded to eventually target sheep and goats.  Adding them into the mix would boost the potential market to 3.3 billion units.  Even if one takes the fact that some of these animals will likely share beds into account, we're talking huge numbers here.  As an added bonus, in addition to boosting these companies' earnings an inexpensive line of cow mattresses would perform a public service by helping to reduce the high milk prices that the government's absurd ethanol boondoggle has been forcing all of us to pay.  To me, this new product is a no brainer.

Deej

No position in any mattress manufacturer

P.S. In case you didn't realize it, this article was a joke ;)

2 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On April 09, 2008 at 11:50 AM, FleaBagger (29.25) wrote:

Are you saying the Plain Dealer article is a joke?

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#2) On April 09, 2008 at 1:59 PM, TMFDeej (99.43) wrote:

Nope, the Plain Dealer article is the real deal.  I just meant that my idea for mainstream companies to sell their matresses to cows was a joke.

Deej

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