The True Culprit Of The Subprime Mortgage Debacle
For the weekend here's the ultimate news: finally Wall Street has found who is really to blame for the subprime debacle, Mrs. Margaralene Wozniak of Lake Tahoe! But please read on ;-)
June 27 – Following months of housing crisis, delinquency, default, foreclosure, rising bond yields, widening credit spreads and freak atmospheric conditions, Wall Street has finally announced the identity of the culprit responsible: Mrs. Margaralene Wozniak of Maple Terrace, Lake Tahoe. Mrs. Wozniak, 87, lies at the heart of the once profitable partnership between subprime lenders and Wall Street brokerage firms that is now toboganning crazily toward a frenzied charnel-house of blood-letting horror. Since the beginning of 2006, almost all US mortgage companies have closed or declared bankruptcy – and Mrs. Wozniak is to blame, according to industry experts.
The manic slaughter-orgyy (word changed by me) has only just begun. As home prices collapse, mortgage defaults and overripe newspaper headlines portending imminent disaster shoot into the stratosphere, bond investors who financed the housing boom stand to lose as much as $480 quadrillion in CDOs backed solely by a mortgage on Mrs. Wozniak’s trailer. A number of large investment banks and hedge funds have already quite literally imploded after gambling – unprofitably, as it turns out – on claims on Mrs. Wozniak’s Placerville residence.
The subprime industry – and investor losses – would never have become quite so huge without 320 million independent mortgage brokers in California and a regulatory regime that has been described by some as mildly sub-optimal.
“Even with explanations, Mrs. Wozniak never really understood what type of loans she was getting,” says Lavinia Twonk, formerly with Toxique Funding of Pasadena. “She thought she’d won a Zimmer frame.”
Read on here. Enjoy! :-)
PS There seems to be a new profanity filter. I had to change a word. How prudish...