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HarryCaraysGhost (99.63)

TheSheckyGreeneContest.

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January 18, 2014 – Comments (62) | RELATED TICKERS: HA

Good evening Ladies and germs

Welcome to the first annual bicentenial edition of TheSheckyGreeneContest.

THE RULES


Rule #1- you must never speak of the SheckyGreeneContest (not really, I'm just having a Fight Club flashback).

Rule #2- Pick a stock, any stock valued over the low.low price of $12.99 (hopefully this eliminates eveyone from trying to bag a high flyin' penny)

Rule #3- Tell a joke with your pick, all the contestants will have one vote for best joke. Each up thumb vote on your joke will add .10 on your start price. (can't vote for yourself)

My doctor asked for a blood, stool and urine sample, so I handed him my underwear. 

TIMEFRAME


All picks have to be in by close on Jan 24th, that'll be the start price for everyone (see what I did there, gave myself the whole weekend to work on it, wink,wink nudge,nudge nothing more to say).

Lets make this a six month contest, so the end date would be Jun 24th.

THE PRIZE


On your deathbed you will be granted eternal enlightenment, so you got that going. Which is nice. 

62 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On January 18, 2014 at 6:28 PM, blesto (31.02) wrote:

Does the joke have to be related to the stock pick?

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#2) On January 18, 2014 at 6:31 PM, HarryCaraysGhost (99.63) wrote:

I'll start it off.

My pick is VOD

Three guys walk into a bar, the fourth one ducked. 

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#3) On January 18, 2014 at 6:33 PM, HarryCaraysGhost (99.63) wrote:

Hey blesto, not at all.

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#4) On January 18, 2014 at 6:33 PM, blesto (31.02) wrote:

btw wouldn't it be more inticing if you subtracted .10 as opposing to making your start price higher?

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#5) On January 18, 2014 at 6:46 PM, blesto (31.02) wrote:

Okay...

My pick is CNO http://caps.fool.com/Ticker/CNO.aspx

What did the hunter say when his hound fell into the fire?

Hot Dog!

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#6) On January 18, 2014 at 7:06 PM, HarryCaraysGhost (99.63) wrote:

btw wouldn't it be more inticing if you subtracted .10 as opposing to making your start price higher?

Dude, you just totally pissed off a bunch of French people, but yea we'll do it your way;) 

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#7) On January 18, 2014 at 7:54 PM, Mega (99.96) wrote:

10 cents per vote isn't really fair if one person chooses a $15 stock and another person chooses a $150 stock. We could make it 0.5% per vote instead.

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#8) On January 18, 2014 at 8:06 PM, HarryCaraysGhost (99.63) wrote:

Hey Mega,

I'm cool with %1 of the vote.

I might need your help on final calculations, as I tend to get quite drunk at the time of writing. 

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#9) On January 18, 2014 at 9:26 PM, awallejr (79.68) wrote:

as I tend to get quite drunk at the time of writing.

This is why we tend to get along heheh.

My pick GNW.

An American Indian boy asked his father how people's names are decided.  The father said it tends to relate around a person's conception.  Your sister was  conceived in a meadow so we named her Meadow Lark.  Your brother was conceived near a brook so we named him Running Brook.  Hope that explains your name Leaky Rubber.

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#10) On January 18, 2014 at 11:41 PM, HarryCaraysGhost (99.63) wrote:

REVISED RULES


Each vote on a joke will add %1 to your start price.(I didn't feel like dealing with fractions).

Votes for best joke are good through the life of the contest. 

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#11) On January 19, 2014 at 12:12 AM, HarryCaraysGhost (99.63) wrote:

Each vote on a joke will add %1 to your start price

Sheesh, each vote will lower your start price by 1%

Not sure why I'm having a brain fart on that.

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#12) On January 19, 2014 at 12:43 AM, Mega (99.96) wrote:

Can we pick ETFs or just stocks?

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#13) On January 19, 2014 at 1:32 AM, awallejr (79.68) wrote:

 Not sure why I'm having a brain fart on that.

I call it alcohol Harry.  Been there done that.

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#14) On January 19, 2014 at 2:09 AM, HarryCaraysGhost (99.63) wrote:

 Can we pick ETFs or just stocks? 

If you want to pick an ETF, go for it.

Just no options, that might get confusing. 

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#15) On January 19, 2014 at 2:09 AM, HarryCaraysGhost (99.63) wrote:

 Can we pick ETFs or just stocks? 

If you want to pick an ETF, go for it.

Just no options, that might get confusing. 

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#16) On January 19, 2014 at 2:19 AM, HarryCaraysGhost (99.63) wrote:

 I call it alcohol Harry.  Been there done that.

That reminded me of this- 

Bessie Braddock: “Sir, you are drunk.”
Churchill: “Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.”

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#17) On January 19, 2014 at 2:43 AM, Valyooo (99.43) wrote:

My pick is BX

Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles?

Because his wife died.

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#18) On January 19, 2014 at 1:50 PM, Mega (99.96) wrote:

GDXJ

"The problem with QE is it works in practice but it doesn't work in theory." - Ben Bernanke  

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#19) On January 19, 2014 at 2:56 PM, Stockllama10 (63.95) wrote:

NVDA

"Hey there, Jerry the Dyslexic! How's it going?"

"Badly. My mother's in the hospital. Something happened to her."

"Oh my god! What happened?"

"She broke her gel."

"She what?"

"That's what the reports said." 

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#20) On January 19, 2014 at 3:50 PM, dragonLZ (99.31) wrote:

CBL

"Why Italian's don't like Jehovah's Witnesses?"

"They don't like any witnesses..."

(Read this joke the other day in "Stocks Under Rocks" book on investing in less-known stocks written by an Italian, Peter Ricchiuti). 

 

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#21) On January 20, 2014 at 6:50 AM, blesto (31.02) wrote:

Mega's joke will definately get a vote from me. Coulda just wrote 'Ben Bernanke' and still would be a good joke.

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#22) On January 20, 2014 at 12:04 PM, Mary953 (77.10) wrote:

INVN -

Twenty years ago, we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs.  Now we have no Cash, no Hope, and no Jobs.  Please don't let Kevin Bacon die! 

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#23) On January 20, 2014 at 12:35 PM, Boodledugger (< 20) wrote:

Given the short time frame and single stock, I'm going with a stock that could either quadruple or half in the next six months.  EXEL

It was so cold today, I saw Jordan Belfort with his hands in his own pockets.

Bill "Boodledugger" Mallett

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#24) On January 20, 2014 at 1:27 PM, FoundryOnStocks (40.76) wrote:

FNP, ticker changing to KATE next month. 

A woman walks into the doctors office and tells the nurse her symptoms. "Nurse, I am invisible." The nurse goes to the doctor and says "hey doc, we got a lady out in the waiting room who says shes invisible." The doctor says "ok, no problem." "Tell her I can't see her today." 

Reminder contest entries end Friday Jan 24th for "Stocks Across North America" Showdown. Free stock picking contest. $100 Amazon gift card to winner, $50 gift card for second, top 3 pitches are eligible to win and are published next month. Free copy of newsletter to all who enter.

Thanks for putting on this contest HCG. Fool on!

 

 

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#25) On January 20, 2014 at 3:58 PM, Stockllama10 (63.95) wrote:

I'm voting for Mary's joke. SAVE THE BACON

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#26) On January 20, 2014 at 9:17 PM, dragonLZ (99.31) wrote:

My vote is for Mary's joke too.

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#27) On January 21, 2014 at 12:53 AM, Valyooo (99.43) wrote:

Me three for Mary joke

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#28) On January 21, 2014 at 10:27 AM, Mary953 (77.10) wrote:

And I love you all!!

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#29) On January 21, 2014 at 7:51 PM, HarryCaraysGhost (99.63) wrote:

Hope you guys don't mind, but I'd like to change my pick.

GWPH

I realized that just because I've been researching VOD as a RL divi telecom with emerging market exposure, probably won't win this contest tho.

If anyone else has  a change of heart, revisions are possible until this Fridays close. 

Bonus joke-

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground, when he finally gets himself to the doctor.

He says, “How bad is it doc? I’m going on my honeymoon next week and my fiance is still a virgin in every way.”

The doctor said , “I’ll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay... next week.”

So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided bandage, and wired it all together; an impressive work of art.

The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries, and on his honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he saw them.

She says, “You are my FIRST, no one has ever touched these breasts.”

He whips down his pants and says…
” Look at this, it’s still in the CRATE!”
  

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#30) On January 22, 2014 at 2:19 PM, Mega (99.96) wrote:

I vote for Boodledugger because he wrote his own joke, also it's very cold here so it seems appropriate.

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#31) On January 22, 2014 at 9:21 PM, valunvesthere (< 20) wrote:

Rule #2- Pick a stock, any stock valued over the low.low price of $12.99 (hopefully this eliminates eveyone from trying to bag a high flyin' penny) 

BlackBerry Limited(Nasdaq:BBRY)

fingers crossed that BBRY will trade above $12.99 by close of January 24,2014.

Rule #3- Tell a joke with your pick, all the contestants will have one vote for best joke. Each up thumb vote on your joke will add .10 on your start price. (can't vote for yourself)

Using 2 Cows To Explain Economics And Politics From The Internet.

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#32) On January 22, 2014 at 9:57 PM, Húshuobadào (38.76) wrote:

LNVGY LENOVO GROUP LTD.

A man goes into a Chinese bar and says, "How 'bout a Stoly?" The bartender says, "Once upon a time . . . ."

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#33) On January 22, 2014 at 10:53 PM, HarryCaraysGhost (99.63) wrote:

Ha! my vote for best joke goes to-

Húshuobadào 

I was waiting for a joke that made me laugh so hard that I spewed beer from my nose. 

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#34) On January 24, 2014 at 8:46 AM, ThisIsFor2053 (< 20) wrote:

EBIX

A 15-year-old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.


The boy asked, 'What is this Father?' 
  
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.'

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.

They continued to watch until it reached the last number… and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.  Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son..... 

'Son, go get your Mother...' 

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#35) On January 24, 2014 at 12:56 PM, Stockllama10 (63.95) wrote:

I want to change my joke.

 

What do you call it when somebody straps nuclear missiles to a cow's stomach?

Abominable! 

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#36) On January 24, 2014 at 12:59 PM, Mary953 (77.10) wrote:

Oh, I have to vote for ThisisFor2053.  You guys frequently make me feel like a brunette Penny from Big Bang Theory, ie the dumb one in a room full of massively smart guys.  If that elevator worked the way the Amish guy thought, I could go up, leave a few decades at the top, and go back to looking like a brunette Penny as well.

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#37) On January 24, 2014 at 1:17 PM, Mary953 (77.10) wrote:

Can I change my stock to Pandora?  I really like the product and have RL money invested in it.

Do I need a new joke? 

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#38) On January 24, 2014 at 7:53 PM, HarryCaraysGhost (99.63) wrote:

Sure Mary, you got it in before close on friday (hopefully we all got nice entry points, time shall tell)

No need to post a new joke, but you could just for grits&shins.

I always knew that I could never be a lawyer because of my inability to pass a bar. 

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#39) On January 25, 2014 at 9:40 AM, Mary953 (77.10) wrote:

A magician walked down the street and turned into a bar.       Or...

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?  A nervous wreck

I asked my son-in-law for a joke (software engineer) and he gave me this:  A photon checks into a hotel.  The bellhop asks, "Can I help you with your luggage?"  It replies, "I don't have any.  I'm traveling llight."

And finally,  A police officer waited outside a particularly rowdy bar one night and watched for possible DUI offenders.  At closing time, the door opened and one guy stumbled out.  He tripped on the curb, dropped his keys, and then tried five different cars before he found his own.  While he was trying to get the door unlocked and the car started, the other customers came out, got in their cars, and left.  The first guy finally got his car in gear and started to drive off.

The policeman was waiting.  He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered a Breathalizer test.  It read 0.0.  The confused officer demanded to know how that was possible.  "Easy," said the grinning "drunk", "Tonight I'm the Designated Decoy!"

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#40) On January 25, 2014 at 2:13 PM, awallejr (79.68) wrote:

1) What do you call 10,000 lawyers chained to the bottom of the ocean? A good start.

2) A priest, a Rabbi a lawyer and others where stuck in a lifeboat.  They weren't far from shore.  One person jumps in the water to swim to shore to get help and sharks attack and eat him.  Another person tries, same result.  Finally the lawyer volunteered.  The sharks approached him then the lawyer grabbed their fins and they swam him to shore.  The Priest looked at the Rabbi in amazement and the Rabbi said "professional courtesy."

3)  What is the difference between a deer hit by a car and a lawyer hit by a car?  With the deer at least you see skid marks.

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#41) On January 25, 2014 at 6:18 PM, RallyCry (< 20) wrote:

YHOO. Why did Ben Barnacke and Janet Yelen visit the red light district? Because they both love a good pump.

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#42) On January 25, 2014 at 11:59 PM, valunvesthere (< 20) wrote:

comment #31

My BlackBerry Limited(Nasdaq:BBRY) closed at $9.89 on 1/24/14 and is technically not qualified for this contest. My other chances to qualify is

3) HarryCarysGhost qualifies my pick as is because he feels it's the right thing to do.

2) HarryCarysGhost changes the minimum qualifying price of $12.99 to $9.89. So lowering the $12.99 threshold gets me in.

1) HarryCarysGhost can qualify me if I earn good graces by voting for his joke,+ rec this blog and reminder blog, and write a good alcohol joke. I've done neither and is waiting for HarryCarysGhost's  reply.

 

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#43) On January 26, 2014 at 10:05 AM, HarryCaraysGhost (99.63) wrote:

Option #4 you could just pick a different stock valued over $12.99. I'm letting in all the late picks over the weekend.

Sorry about being a stickler on the price.

Reason is not a big fan BBRY aka RIMM..... rim shots, rim-jobs, sure but no not rimm the stock;) 

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#44) On January 26, 2014 at 11:33 AM, TheSheckyGreeneC (49.15) wrote:

Same goes for Boodledugger pick of EXEL it closed at $7.64.

I wanna be a nice guy and allow the picks but that wouldn't be fair to all the other contestants.

Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.
 

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#45) On January 26, 2014 at 6:34 PM, valunvesthere (< 20) wrote:

option #5 is if HarryCarysGhost extends this contest to January 31,2014 closing, which I'm sure BlackBerry will be trading above $12.99.

But seriously I'm going with...

Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing Company Limited (NYSE:TSM)

A guy is in a bar with a bunch of his friends. After a while of shooting pool and drinking, he whispers something to his friends.

A few minutes later he walks over to the bartender and asks for a shot of tequila. After he takes the shot he says to the bartender,'' I'd like to make a bet with you.''

The bartender replies, ''Sure I'm in a betting mood.''

So the man bets the bartender $1,000 that he can piss in the shot glass placed all the way across the room and fill it up and not spill a drop.

The bartender says, ''I'll take that bet.''

So the man walks to the other side of the room and places the shot glass down. He goes back to the bartender and starts urinating.

He doesn't even get a drop in. He pisses all over the place. In the bartender's face, all over the barstools and everything.

After he was done urinating, the bartender laughed and said, ''You owe me $1,000.''

The man paid the money with a big smile on his face.

The bartender asked, ''How come you're so happy?''

The man replied, ''You see those five guys over there by the pool table? I bet them $300 each that I could piss all over your bar and you'd laugh about it.''

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#46) On January 26, 2014 at 9:19 PM, Krazy8s (< 20) wrote:

Just a reminder....wink,wink, nudge nudge.

January 23, 2014 by HarryCarysGhost (99.75)

#1) On January 23, 2014 at 11:57 PM, Krazy8s (< 20) wrote:

Live Nation (NYSE:LYV )

A man goes to the doctor and says, "doctor, I can't stop my hands from shaking!"
Doctor replies, "Do you drink much?"
Man says "No, I spill most of it!"

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#47) On January 26, 2014 at 10:24 PM, HarryCaraysGhost (99.63) wrote:

I got you Krazy8s-

Have to post this=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVWISE9uHdw 

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#48) On January 26, 2014 at 10:43 PM, HarryCaraysGhost (99.63) wrote:

And this-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbAzWvTbrbA 

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#49) On January 26, 2014 at 11:25 PM, HarryCaraysGhost (99.63) wrote:

Gotta dig on this-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q43OxVBOGj4 

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#50) On January 27, 2014 at 8:34 AM, HarryCaraysGhost (99.63) wrote:

All 14 picks can be found here-

http://caps.fool.com/player/thesheckygreenec.aspx

Voting on the jokes is open till contest end.

Thank you all for playing along. 

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#51) On January 29, 2014 at 2:47 PM, Mary953 (77.10) wrote:

Hey Harry,

I am creating the welcome blog.  Do you think you can allow latecomers to the contest or allow them to vote on jokes or something?  Whatever you decide, thanks for remaining such a valuable member of this crazy group!

Mary 

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#52) On January 29, 2014 at 8:40 PM, HarryCaraysGhost (99.63) wrote:

Hi Mary, thanks for including me on the welcome blog. That is so nice of you to put together for the newcomers. I don't think I posted much at all when I first found Caps, but I wouldv'e had I found a blog like yours.

I really want all the picks to be from the same day. (Thats fair to everyone, Mr Market could drop 10%, and some players would have a much better entry point). But votes on jokes, or new jokes are always welcome. 

I see you got some more snow in Tennesee, after about a week of sub-zero temps, we hit 20 here in Chi-town. Feels like a heat wave. I'll take this anyday over the heat. 100 degrees I call in to work, negative 10 with a -60 wind chill. Not a problem;)

What did one snowman say to the other?

Do you smell carrots? 

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#53) On January 29, 2014 at 9:42 PM, Mary953 (77.10) wrote:

Oh I like that joke.  We started the day at 0 this morning and we will still be wishing we could warm up to 20 tomorrow.  At least we can look toward 65 for Sunday.  For me, 100 with 95% humidity is no big deal, but below 30 and I just stay inside with hot chocolate and a good book.  

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#54) On February 01, 2014 at 8:03 PM, HarryCaraysGhost (99.63) wrote:

A young Polish girl tells her Father she's pregnant.

The Father ask's-

Are you sure it's yours? 

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#55) On February 01, 2014 at 10:11 PM, awallejr (79.68) wrote:

You used someone else's joke for my pick ;(

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#56) On February 01, 2014 at 10:13 PM, awallejr (79.68) wrote:

Oops nvm

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#57) On February 09, 2014 at 6:25 PM, Mary953 (77.10) wrote:

Since most of those that I exchange posts with are on here, this is a one time explanation.  So you do not think that I just ignored you, an explanation for my disappearance.  The cold weather is causing some difficulty with the rotator cuff I tore apart and I am trying to keep from stressing it.  When the PT started talking about further surgery, I started dropping things out.  Typing is a major point of pain and destruction at the moment.  I plan to be back as soon as I safely can.  In the meantime, enjoy the Olympics. 

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#58) On February 09, 2014 at 8:30 PM, awallejr (79.68) wrote:

Sorry to hear Mary, but surgery can be helpful.  I know several who have had it and while it hurt during recovery eventually they felt better.  And then there was a couple who still hurt.  So I can only give you my best wishes.  And btw you are talking to someone under opiates to deal with back and arm pain heheh. So I am no stranger to it.

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#59) On February 09, 2014 at 10:17 PM, HarryCaraysGhost (99.63) wrote:

So sorry to hear that Mary,

You do know that I can't resist posting a series of it hurts when I do this jokes-

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and claims that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left knee and screams in pain. Then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more. She pushes her stomach and screams and then she pushes her ankle and screams even louder. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken." 

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#60) On February 09, 2014 at 10:39 PM, awallejr (79.68) wrote:

Or I told my doctor it hurts when I do this.  He said well don't do that.

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#61) On February 10, 2014 at 12:26 AM, HarryCaraysGhost (99.63) wrote:

I call my lawyer and say, “Can I ask you two questions?”
My lawyer says, “What’s the second question?”

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#62) On February 10, 2014 at 1:02 AM, Mary953 (77.10) wrote:

:)  I like your doctor jokes.

Dolly Parton was asked if dumb blonde jokes bothered her.  She said, "Not at all because I'm not blonde and I'm not dumb!" 

And Awallejr, yeah, I know exactly how much the surgeries hurt.  This time two years ago, I was just preparing for my first one.  The second came when the shoulder froze, about 6 weeks later.  I really, really don't want to do the rehab again.  Good side is that I have the best physical therapist in the city.  He has been putting me back together for a dozen years.  (I tend to do stuff I shouldn't do and end up broken occasionally, but it is better to push the envelope and have as much fun as possible - right?)

Our forecast is for light snow and cold tomorrow, followed by "the biggest snow we have seen in a decade" later in the week.  I really hope they are wrong. 

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