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May 31, 2012 – Comments (5) | RELATED TICKERS: UST

Do you hate the liquidity of holding cash, and its being too damn available all the time? Fearful that gold is becoming a barbarous relic? Try the new 1.56%-yielding 10-year U.S. Treasurys! Guaranteed not to lose any value (unless they do), and backed by the full faith of your trusty U.S. Federal Government, these fine bonds will keep you in bondage for a decade. You won't have to worry about making too much money, because they yield practically nothing! That means a low tax liability! If you like the supply/demand ratio of a commodity with an infinite supply, these T-bonds are for you! Worried about finding space for more? Don't worry: Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke (The Bernank to his friends) can just add some to your account on a computer, with no space limitations! If we can imagine a number, we can copy that many T-bonds just like it!

Don't settle for imitations. German bonds? They don't even know the name of their own country! They think it's Deutschland! Ha! More like Doucheland. And Japan? Yeah right! Do you want Godzilla smashing your bond portfolio? Buy American! Buy today! But hurry: at these prices, they may not last long.

5 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On May 31, 2012 at 4:54 PM, leohaas (32.18) wrote:

"...these fine bonds will keep you in bondage for a decade."

Nonsense. US Treasuries are among the most liquid assets in the world. You can sell whenever you feel like it.

And indeed, Germany's name is "Bundesrepublik Deutschland".

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#2) On May 31, 2012 at 5:56 PM, Option1307 (29.84) wrote:

Ha ha awesome!

And no thanks to treasuries!!

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#3) On May 31, 2012 at 7:41 PM, HarryCaraysGhost (99.69) wrote:

Ha ha ha....! favorite line-

Do you hate the liquidity of holding cash, and its being too damn available all the time?

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#4) On June 01, 2012 at 4:42 PM, rfaramir (29.32) wrote:

"That means a low tax liability!"

Aren't they a "low tax liability" because the government chooses not to tax you when you 'invest' in their debt?

But maybe your intended audience includes foreigners, for whom holding US Gov't bonds may indeed be a slight tax liability.

 

My view on buying government debt is simple: don't! Frank Chodorov in "Out of Step" was brilliant. From chapter 17:

"Don't Buy Government Bonds" (http://mises.org/daily/4922)

"The use of the word investment in connection with a bond issued by the State is a treacherous euphemism." 

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#5) On June 05, 2012 at 3:15 AM, FleaBagger (28.89) wrote:

leo - it's a pun. (Fundage, bondage - get it?)

faramir - I think you have to pay taxes on T-paper. Just not much now, because they yield 1.5% annually.

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