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TOP 10 Most Absurd M&A Possibilities

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April 21, 2009 – Comments (0) | RELATED TICKERS: PEP , DPS , KRFT

Now that we have a new Anti-Trust Chief, I thought I'd list what is clearly the TOP 10 Most Absurd M&A Possibilities in the Stock Market


10.  (MA) + (V)         Mastercard is in talks to buy Visa for $80 a share.  Nearly a 50% premium to Visa's current Market price.  The market share has convinced banks to dump Discover and American Express cards for the more favorable benefits in offering MasterVISAs to their customers.

Bank of America is just the latest bank after JP Morgan, PNC Fiancial, and Citigroup to come out in favor of the MasterVISA.

Merger deal still awaits Anti-Trust Chief's approval.  Meanwhile, thousands of envelopes containing applications to acquire a MasterVISA card have been sent to Congress.

9.  (APPL) +  (RIMM)       Long term investors wondering what Apple Computer was going to do with all that cash need not wait any longer...Not after the latest Press Release from Steve Jobs announcing a Takeover Bid of Blackberry Phone creator Research in Motion.  This announcement, if the Anti-Trust Chief approves of it, will soon create a Cell Phone Company with almost 50% of the Global Market Share.

Steve Jobs says, "We have plans to add IPHONE store technologies to the Blackberry Kickstart 2, Blackberry Storm 2, and other future Blackberry models, while allowing Blackberry to put their applications as downloadable content to the iPhone.  We are also excited to have our i-Blackberry-Phones available for purchase at VERIZON and T-MOBILE."

8. (CGRA) + (KFT)   =  ConaGraft is the new company name that will emerge out of this deal.
ConaGraft is Conagra + Kraft as long as the Anti-Trust Chief approves.  Now virtually half the shelf space in your food ailes of your local Food Store will be a ConaGraft product.

C.E.O. of Conagra had this to say, "We like the synergies between our two companys because we both engage in the same kind of consumer orientated approach to our food lineup while ensuring strict pricing controls that will lead to shareholder growth in the near and long term."

7.  (ATVI) + SquareEnix + Bethesda Softworks:   In an unprecendented, shocking announcement, Activision Blizzard's C.E.O. along with the C.E.Os from SquareEnix and Bethesda Softworks have joined forces in an on-going negotiation to merge their 3 companys into perhaps the biggest Role Playing Game Publishing House ever devised.

Activision Blizzard's C.E.O. had this to say about the exciting news, "When we saw the endless possibilities of MMORPGs to create long term revenues for our shareholders, ever since World of Warcraft became part of the Activision company under the Activision and Blizzard merger, we thought the next best thing was to do MMORPGs for Final Fantasy, Elder Scrolls, and Fallout.

We believe the revenue potential will more than Quadruple the health of our Balance sheet, even though our cash flow is taking quite a hit to put this deal together."

In other related news GENIUS inc.  an Indie Game developer is suing SquareEnix for stealing their Final Fantasy 13 source code.

6.  (PEP) + (DPS):         In perhaps the biggest Beverage Merger in the history of the World, the #2 Beverage company is now merging with the #3 Beverage company.  Dr. Pepper, Snapple, Pepsi, Frito Lay, Motts all inside the portfolio of 1 beverage company that will become the new #1 Beverage company...easily rivaling Coca Cola by far in Market Share.

Dr. Pepper Snapple Group's C.E.O. had this to say during the May 13th conference call, "Well hell..If Pepsi wants to pay $50 a share for our company, a more than 100% premium to our current share price, then I can't say no.  We just hope the new Anti-Trust Chief will approve the merger so we can get started in sharing our Beverage Portfolios and Distribution networks."

...............Stay Tuned for the next  top 5 Absurd Mergers that will never happen......

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