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starbucks4ever (98.98)

Weekly summary: Housing is now free

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October 17, 2010 – Comments (4)

American capitalism again proves to be the best model when it comes to housing affordability. 

Since figuring out who owns what is an absolutely intractable problem for private business, the last remaining reason to make your mortgage payments has disappeared this week. 

If you are still waiting to buy, know that the deals will never get any better. Just sign the mortgage application and stop fretting about the nominal amount you agreed to pay. Ignore those Chicken Littles who are telling you to worry about foreclosure. Don't worry, they won't foreclose on you. They will either lose your file in the process, or their lawyers will get entangled in legal disputes, or they will do the paperwork for the wrong person and as a result, foreclose on the wrong house. 

Also, keep in mind that by stopping your mortgage payments you will be increasing the GDP. Thousands of lawyers will get jobs. Legal companies will hire millions of unemployed hair stylists, dog walkers, burger flippers and assembly-line workers to robo-sign paperwork documenting your missing documentation, and then when they do things the wrong way, more millions will be hired to find out what went wrong. And all these millions of employees will be shaking the air in courts until the booming service industry makes our economy the envy of the world.

So why don't you stop worrying and learn to love that foreclosure notice? 

4 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On October 17, 2010 at 1:50 PM, BillyTG (29.75) wrote:

Very Stanley Kubrick final line. Nice.

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#2) On October 17, 2010 at 1:52 PM, starbucks4ever (98.98) wrote:

Dr. Strangelove is one of my favorite movies :)

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#3) On October 18, 2010 at 5:22 AM, devoish (99.07) wrote:

Zloj,

That is one of the best posts ever.

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#4) On October 18, 2010 at 8:46 AM, outoffocus (23.59) wrote:

This is what happens when housing becomes a "right".

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