What good is a reward if you're not around to use it?
December 29, 2011
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One of my guilty pleasures is watching a show called "The Soup" (owned by NBCUniversal, which is owned by Comcast Corp (NASDAQ:CMCSA)). It's a cable program that gather clips from the previous week across the vast ocean of television and presents them in a humorous way. One of the programs they often feature is called "My Strange Addiction" on TLC (owned by Discovery Communications, Inc. (NASDAQ:DISCA)). I've never watched that show, but I can guess what it's about. Some of the "addictions" they've shown on The Soup are: woman eating rocks, woman who bathes in bleach and woman who caries urn around and eats the cremated remains of her husband. After reading the episode lists, I learned that they generally don't deal with actual addictions rather they focus on people with compulsive and/or strange behavior.
Although the content of the program seems gratuitously shocking, the premise is what piqued my interest; for I suffer from a strange addiction: I am addicted to paying my bills. Earlier this week after HarryCarysGhost admitted that the one bill he looks forward to paying is the check he writes to himself (in the form of quarterly stock deposits), I revealed that paying bills gives me immense pleasure - unfortunately it seems to be the case only with my bills. When bills sit on my desk unpaid, it makes me extremely anxious and uneasy until they're taken care of. When I send off a check and update my Quicken software, I get a euphoric sense of accomplishment. I wouldn't think this behavior was anything but normal except most of my friends and family despise when a bill arrives. I often hear them complaining about the relentless frequency of bills whereas I look forward to checking the mail and finding a bill from my water company.
My wife and I are not rich nor do we live off a trust fund. We work hard, spend within our means, pay our taxes and try to avoid debt. I'm not certain if these are the ugly symptoms of my condition or possibly the root cause, but my strange addiction has recently taken a turn for the worse. After paying off my student loans, credit cards, my wife's engagement ring and my car, I've begun paying bills that do not exist. I found myself treating my periodic stock investments as if they were bills (like Harry's quarterly KO payments), squirreling money away for retirement on a regular basis and making car payments for a vehicle we don't intend to buy for another five years.
I can't help but think that my attitude towards bills would change if my wife or I were to lose our jobs, or if we decided to have children. So I'll enjoy this "immense pleasure" while it lasts and type up this blog post to remind myself if ever this strange addiction becomes the dark loathing that afflicts my friends and family. I have casually considered contacting TLC about appearing on their show, but I'm afraid the American viewing public would not be able to withstand the bizarre horror that is my strange addiction.
Disclosure: I do not have any positions in the Coca-Cola Company, Comcast or Discovery nor do I plan to start any in the foreseeable future.
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