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LegendPhoenix (54.77)

What good is a reward if you're not around to use it?

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December 29, 2011 – Comments (11) | RELATED TICKERS: CMCSA , DISCA , KO

One of my guilty pleasures is watching a show called "The Soup" (owned by NBCUniversal, which is owned by Comcast Corp (NASDAQ:CMCSA)).  It's a cable program that gather clips from the previous week across the vast ocean of television and presents them in a humorous way.  One of the programs they often feature is called "My Strange Addiction" on TLC (owned by Discovery Communications, Inc. (NASDAQ:DISCA)).  I've never watched that show, but I can guess what it's about.  Some of the "addictions" they've shown on The Soup are: woman eating rocks, woman who bathes in bleach and woman who caries urn around and eats the cremated remains of her husband.  After reading the episode lists, I learned that they generally don't deal with actual addictions rather they focus on people with compulsive and/or strange behavior.

Although the content of the program seems gratuitously shocking, the premise is what piqued my interest; for I suffer from a strange addiction:  I am addicted to paying my bills.  Earlier this week after HarryCarysGhost admitted that the one bill he looks forward to paying is the check he writes to himself (in the form of quarterly stock deposits), I revealed that paying bills gives me immense pleasure - unfortunately it seems to be the case only with my bills.  When bills sit on my desk unpaid, it makes me extremely anxious and uneasy until they're taken care of.  When I send off a check and update my Quicken software, I get a euphoric sense of accomplishment.  I wouldn't think this behavior was anything but normal except most of my friends and family despise when a bill arrives.  I often hear them complaining about the relentless frequency of bills whereas I look forward to checking the mail and finding a bill from my water company.

My wife and I are not rich nor do we live off a trust fund.  We work hard, spend within our means, pay our taxes and try to avoid debt.  I'm not certain if these are the ugly symptoms of my condition or possibly the root cause, but my strange addiction has recently taken a turn for the worse.  After paying off my student loans, credit cards, my wife's engagement ring and my car, I've begun paying bills that do not exist.  I found myself treating my periodic stock investments as if they were bills (like Harry's quarterly KO payments), squirreling money away for retirement on a regular basis and making car payments for a vehicle we don't intend to buy for another five years.

I can't help but think that my attitude towards bills would change if my wife or I were to lose our jobs, or if we decided to have children.  So I'll enjoy this "immense pleasure" while it lasts and type up this blog post to remind myself if ever this strange addiction becomes the dark loathing that afflicts my friends and family.  I have casually considered contacting TLC about appearing on their show, but I'm afraid the American viewing public would not be able to withstand the bizarre horror that is my strange addiction.

 

Disclosure: I do not have any positions in the Coca-Cola Company, Comcast or Discovery nor do I plan to start any in the foreseeable future.

11 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On December 29, 2011 at 1:04 PM, outoffocus (26.88) wrote:

Great blog, but your title doesn't do your blog any justice.

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#2) On December 29, 2011 at 1:28 PM, Jbay76 (< 20) wrote:

I agree, the title has to go, or change the context of the blog.  Otherwise, I guess the knowing that someone else may be able to use your reward when your time has come is the kicker.....

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#3) On December 29, 2011 at 1:32 PM, INVESTigator49 (< 20) wrote:

China Digital TV future and current dividend. . . No one seems to have this stock in mind. No comments for ages. Yes the accounts receivable is a bit alarming last quarter and yes the dividend will be late it now appears. There must be some rule breaker fans who have some input on this one that might be of interest to others of us. Long STV. .

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#4) On December 29, 2011 at 1:40 PM, wolfman225 (76.89) wrote:

I am not a doctor (nor do I portray one on TV), but paying bills that don't exist is a dangerous delusion.  I think your condition may well become chronic if immediate steps are not taken.

You must increase your consumption of mass media marketing. LBYM is indicative of a dangerous disregard for your fellow citizens!  After all, the economy depends on American consumerism.  If you don't borrow to buy what you can't afford, how will your neighbors be able to afford the bills they have incurred purchasing things they couldn't afford?

Your compulsive adherence to fiscal responsibility can be treated, but you and your wife need to act now, before it becomes an unbreakable addiction.  I'll pray for your speedy recovery.

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#5) On December 29, 2011 at 2:48 PM, HarryCarysGhost (99.74) wrote:

Nice blog.

And thanks for the shout out (I thnk :)

Yes you and I are polar opposites as I simply despise paying bills but will continue to do so, until my Four phase 20 year plan comes to fruitian.

Have I told you about the plan which I am now three years into.

Phase I-

Pay off mortgage in full (which happens to be my only debt)

Also My most despised bill since my condo is underwater and the banks won't let me re-fi.

Every time I'm on the phone with them I feel like busting out this quote-

Don't jerk me around its a simple question.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKCu4P9YT9I&feature=related

Phase I should be completed in seven yrs or less.

Phase II-

Invest in dividend aristocrats to the point where the dividend pays all utilitie, e.g Lets say ED for electric bill....

Props to Cris Grailey for giving me the idea.

This should be accomplished within a decade.

Phase III-

?

Phase IV-

Profit!!!

Of course Lifes a crapshoot, but my hatred of paying bills is what led to my plan.

If I may quote Jules from Pulp Fiction-

I'm trying Ringo, I'm trying real freaking hard

Cheers.

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#6) On December 29, 2011 at 3:26 PM, LegendPhoenix (54.77) wrote:

Thanks for the criticism regarding the title.  I really need to work on that.  Basically I start sketching out a blog entry weeks before I post it and sometimes (for whatever reason) the inspiration or underlying ideas don't get communicated in the final version.  In this case the title came from something my father-in-law once told me.  He said that he never complains about being able to pay his bills because it means that he has a job.  I won't go into his background right now, but I can appreciate his sentiment.  The bills that I receive are the result of me enjoying the quality of life due to having electricity, water, a car, food, gas, internet, etc. 
Initially my idea was to talk about: "Having money is great, but what's really great is being able to enjoy all the things this money affords me,"  hence the title.  I came up the title and then started writing, revising and then rewriting the blog.  Ultimately, I ended up coming from a different direction:  "I love being able to pay bills, because I can."  Perhaps a more appropriate title is:

"That's right, yeah. Got some old debts I gotta pay off with this stuff."

Thanks for reading and I appreciate the criticism. 

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#7) On December 29, 2011 at 3:37 PM, LegendPhoenix (54.77) wrote:

Harry,

I think your plan is brilliant!  I'm sketching out a plan with a similar scope, but I'm WAY behind you.  I'm afraid I have to steal your (or Cris Grailey's) idea about using dividends to pay your bills.  It's like fighting fire with fire, you pay your investment bill to yourself now and in a decade or so those bills will pay your non-investment bills.

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#8) On December 29, 2011 at 4:20 PM, LegendPhoenix (54.77) wrote:

wolfman,

Thanks for the warning.  My wife and I got a good laugh from your recommendation.

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#9) On December 29, 2011 at 4:31 PM, wolfman225 (76.89) wrote:

^You're welcome.  I was speaking from experience.  Suffering from a similar compulsion of my own, I was unable to stop myself.  Now, I don't have ANY bills to pay.  I was hoping to save you from suffering my fate.  It's a terrible burden not to have anyone to give your money to.  :D

Have a nice day!

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#10) On December 30, 2011 at 10:56 AM, eldemonio (99.15) wrote:

I'm not shocked by your addiction, I'm shocked that you're married.  I guess with all of the Star Wars geekiness, I was picturing someone like this.

May the force be with you.

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#11) On December 30, 2011 at 11:56 AM, LegendPhoenix (54.77) wrote:

I do resemble that picture, eldemonio.  The only way I can explain that I was able to land a wife that looks exactly like Princess Leia: there's a mystical energy that controls my destiny.

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