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Who Wants MONEY? Will Print For Free!



January 08, 2009 – Comments (10) | RELATED TICKERS: UDN , UUP

Fellow Fools! I have given up on the market. It’s up, it’s down, it’s sideways, forward/backward, whatever. I have a new solution. A way to beat the market to market every time. The printing press.


I am announcing today my LLC. I don’t have a license, but it won’t matter. My company will produce only one product: MONEY.


The money I print will compete with the dollar. It will also look exactly like the greenback. But most importantly, it will spend like the USD.


Now, I know what some of you out there are thinking: that’s illegal! I’m not so sure that it is. After all, the Federal Reserve is not governmental body. It even has shareholders. What I will be doing is no different from what they are doing. Anyone who wants some of my money can have it for free. I figure if the Federal Reserve can give money away to banks and car companies, then someone should be giving money to the average everyday American citizen.


Besides after I print the first few million dollars the entire operation will pay for itself. I might as well pass on the profits to my shareholders. That’s what good companies do right? Of course, my books will not be viewable and the IRS will have no way to audit me. That might sound dangerous. It might even sound like I am running a fraudulent company, but really it’s exactly like the Federal Reserve. Can anyone prove that the Fed doesn’t just print money for its shareholders?


The way I see it, I will be doing the economy a favor. I will be personally solving the credit crisis. My credit will be interest free (just like the Fed), but it will be offered to the consumer instead of the banks who already have money. I figure once enough people find out about my new business the economy will recover in a matter of months, consumer confidence will rise, profits will skyrocket! We can even re-inflate the housing bubble.


I know that some of you are skeptical. Some of you “goldbugs” out there probably doubt my methods. You will probably argue that what I am doing will destroy confidence in the dollar, and cause massive inflation followed eventually by hyperinflation, but I have many very smart economist who say you’re wrong.


There are lots of experts who work for banks and hedge funds (that receive Federal Reserve funds before everyone else) that say inflation is good. Sure, you could argue that what I am doing is immoral and might even be perceived by some as “stealing,” but I say I am the new Robin Hood. I am the only one looking out for the interest of the middle and lower class. I want to give you the money first while it’s still valuable.


The experts on television will tell you: Inflation makes the world go ‘round. Deflation is the only evil.


So be it. Who wants some money?

10 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On January 08, 2009 at 3:30 AM, DaretothREdux (51.56) wrote:

FOMC saw specter of depression, deflation


oh wait, I have a printing press...I can fix it...

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#2) On January 08, 2009 at 6:08 AM, Mary953 (84.90) wrote:

FOMC - I expected another teen abbreviation so this time I googled it.  Federal Open Market Committee, a component of the Federal Reserve System.  Worse, by far.

Have you considered a more profitable and less risky venture?  According to a new TV ad, there is a set of coins with full color pictures of President-Elect Obama on one side.  Each coin features a different portrait.  You can do try that.  You merely have to catch our heros in their individual moments of glory and sell them to the public at high markup before they have a chance to do Anything.  Once they are exposed as human, I am certain that the value of the coins will drop.

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#3) On January 08, 2009 at 7:57 AM, DaretothREdux (51.56) wrote:


Thoughtful and funny insight as always, but I assure you running my own printing press is far more profitible. There is only one bank in the U.S. that will never ask for a bailout...

The Fed

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#4) On January 08, 2009 at 9:31 AM, DaretothREdux (51.56) wrote:

For any of my readers you actually think I have good ideas about the market and investing (hey there could be one or two), I ended about 30 picks this morning which is by far the most I have ever ended in a single day so far on CAPS and big surprise...


I am bearish on the market in general and I think it might be time to test some of our former lows again. Or, I could be completely wrong and we have an "Obama rally" until late Feb. early March. Either way I am still a bear at this point in time.

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#5) On January 08, 2009 at 10:37 AM, columbia1 wrote:

dare-lets increase to profit potential of this new business, instead of printing this new currency in one location, we should lease the printing presses to new investors and take a 10% fee off the top of all currency printed, enabling us to buy more presses, soon all households would have one, and the original investors would reap profits off of the lease payments. 


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#6) On January 08, 2009 at 10:44 AM, binve (< 20) wrote:

DaretothREdux, Nice :) That really does sum up the Fed's job. Counterfeiting = illegal and bad. Fed Printing Press = Good and stimulates economy. Hmmmm....

You and I defintely seem to be on the same page when it comes to the Fed's role in the whole fiasco. I also found and posted a very funny article by Adrian Ash from Bullion Vault on Quatitative Easing. Check it out, I think you will be amused. 

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#7) On January 08, 2009 at 11:40 PM, DaretothREdux (51.56) wrote:


That link is hilarious. Thanks! Sounds like he and I have a lot in common. alstry probably thinks we are the same person--heh.

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#8) On January 09, 2009 at 4:01 PM, Mary953 (84.90) wrote:

Bye, Dare.  It was fun.  Be sure and keep a copy of 'Prove It' as you could base a PhD thesis on that some day.  I will still be using stock info and watching the market here, but only reading rather than participating.

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#9) On January 10, 2009 at 3:09 AM, DaretothREdux (51.56) wrote:


It saddens me greatly to hear that you will no longer participate. I hope it was not my silly arguement with alstry that caused this...I have pretty much taken to ignoring him since I see now that I cannot reason with him.

I hope you come back soon because I always check your blog when I need a good uplifting/insightful story!

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#10) On February 14, 2009 at 7:56 AM, DaretothREdux (51.56) wrote:

hey binve,

I should thank you again for that link it has since inspired some of my future posts!

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