Who Wants MONEY? Will Print For Free!
January 08, 2009
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Fellow Fools! I have given up on the market. It’s up, it’s down, it’s sideways, forward/backward, whatever. I have a new solution. A way to beat the market to market every time. The printing press.
I am announcing today my LLC. I don’t have a license, but it won’t matter. My company will produce only one product: MONEY.
The money I print will compete with the dollar. It will also look exactly like the greenback. But most importantly, it will spend like the USD.
Now, I know what some of you out there are thinking: that’s illegal! I’m not so sure that it is. After all, the Federal Reserve is not governmental body. It even has shareholders. What I will be doing is no different from what they are doing. Anyone who wants some of my money can have it for free. I figure if the Federal Reserve can give money away to banks and car companies, then someone should be giving money to the average everyday American citizen.
Besides after I print the first few million dollars the entire operation will pay for itself. I might as well pass on the profits to my shareholders. That’s what good companies do right? Of course, my books will not be viewable and the IRS will have no way to audit me. That might sound dangerous. It might even sound like I am running a fraudulent company, but really it’s exactly like the Federal Reserve. Can anyone prove that the Fed doesn’t just print money for its shareholders?
The way I see it, I will be doing the economy a favor. I will be personally solving the credit crisis. My credit will be interest free (just like the Fed), but it will be offered to the consumer instead of the banks who already have money. I figure once enough people find out about my new business the economy will recover in a matter of months, consumer confidence will rise, profits will skyrocket! We can even re-inflate the housing bubble.
I know that some of you are skeptical. Some of you “goldbugs” out there probably doubt my methods. You will probably argue that what I am doing will destroy confidence in the dollar, and cause massive inflation followed eventually by hyperinflation, but I have many very smart economist who say you’re wrong.
There are lots of experts who work for banks and hedge funds (that receive Federal Reserve funds before everyone else) that say inflation is good. Sure, you could argue that what I am doing is immoral and might even be perceived by some as “stealing,” but I say I am the new Robin Hood. I am the only one looking out for the interest of the middle and lower class. I want to give you the money first while it’s still valuable.
The experts on television will tell you: Inflation makes the world go ‘round. Deflation is the only evil.
So be it. Who wants some money?
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