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You Gotta Love Chuck



September 27, 2007 – Comments (2)

Original here.


The earnings from homebuilders Lennar (NYSE: LEN) and KB Home (NYSE: KBH) suggest that the housing market isn't getting any better. The earnings from investment banks like Morgan Stanley (NYSE: MS) and Bear Stearns (NYSE: BSC) gave us an idea of just how nasty the credit crunch has been. And now the big private equity guys are getting cold feet, pulling out of deals involving firms like Harman (NYSE: HAR) and SLM (NYSE: SLM).

Ben Bernanke gave it his best shot by cutting the Federal Funds Rate 0.5%, going above and beyond the 0.25% that most were expecting. But now it's time to get serious.

Famous "facts" about martial artist Chuck Norris trumpet his amazing strength and tenacity. For example: "Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people." Now, thanks to Bloomberg writer Mark Gilbert, Chuck is going after the credit crisis. Below are a few of my favorites from Mark:

- Chuck Norris doesn't target inflation. He roundhouse-kicks it until it begs for mercy.

- The tears of Chuck Norris would supply enough liquidity to solve the credit crisis. Too bad he never cries.

- Chuck Norris doesn't mark-to-market. The market marks to Chuck Norris.

- Chuck Norris doesn't buy gold to hedge against inflation. Gold buys Chuck Norris to hedge against inflation.

Good luck, Mr. Norris. America's credit is counting on you.


Anybody want to offer their own below?



2 Comments – Post Your Own

#1) On September 27, 2007 at 3:43 PM, TMFKopp (97.73) wrote:

Ok, I'll throw in a couple:

- Chuck Norris' hedge fund uses a quantitative pain strategy

- One roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris could simultaneously cause KKR to follow through on the Harman deal and make Britney give up clubbing

- Chuck Norris once squeezed so much market liquidity out of a 10 ton boulder that it made Ben Bernanke cry

- Amaranth's natural gas trades were all across the table from Chuck Norris Capital 

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#2) On September 27, 2007 at 6:41 PM, TheCreek (77.71) wrote:

There is nothing like a few classics:

-Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and caused the stock market crash of 1929.

-When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

-When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

-Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

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